I’ve always had a high sex drive which I didn’t think was a problem until I met Sally. She was more reserved and it took a lot of effort on my side for us to be intimate despite being in a relationship. However, I love a challenge and maybe that was the reason I pursued her.
I was used to dating very sexual girls who were ready and willing to do anything. After some time, this got boring and I decided to try something different. Sally was very attractive and typically the kind of girl that I dated. However, she was painfully shy and would get so uncomfortable even when I tried to kiss her. I thought she would be more comfortable with me after some time but nothing changed. She still made me work for sex a couple of months into our relationship.
“Why do you always want to have sex?” She asked, a bit irritated.
“It’s normal to want to have sex with you. You’re my girlfriend.”
“Is that all you care about?” She asked.
“No, but it’s important to me.”
“I think it’s too much.”
“Most guys don’t even have sex daily yet you want to have sex multiple times a day.”
“Well, I’m not like most guys,” I answered arrogantly.
Sometimes, I felt like I was forcing her to be intimate with me. I had to beg her and spend hours persuading her to have sex with me and even when we were intimate, it felt like she wasn’t enjoying it.
Despite our challenges, I didn’t want to break up with Sally. We had a good relationship for the most part and I knew I would regret it if I lost her. In fact, I was willing to work on my sex habits just so I could keep her.
“What should I do? If I don’t want to lose her but if I can’t control my sex drive, she’ll leave me.” I opened up to my friend.
“What if you try to take care of yourself?” He suggested.
“I don’t know if that will help but I’ll try.”
It felt strange watching porn and masturbating yet I was in a relationship but it was the only way that I could reduce my appetite. As expected, Sally didn’t take it well when she found out what I was doing.
“Now you’re watching porn. Do you know how degrading it is for me?”
“What do you want me to do? I have a sex drive and you don’t. It’s the only way I can stop bothering you all the time.”
“Have you tried meditating?”
“How will that help?”
“Maybe your high sex drive is a psychological issue.”
“It could be.”
Sally convinced me that my high sex drive wasn’t normal and that I needed some kind of intervention. She introduced me to yoga and meditation so I could be able to take my mind off sex all the time. It didn’t help. If anything, it made things worse since Sally was bending in front of me and all I could think of was having sex with her.
I decided to stick to my plan and watched porn about three times a day. This seemed to work but I got addicted to it and developed an unhealthy relationship with sex. Anytime I was intimate with Sally, I would think of the porn videos I watched. Things escalated and I started watching porn while we were intimate.
Sally wasn’t happy about it and almost ended the relationship. However, I realized that I was going to lose the best girlfriend I ever had so I decided to try another solution.
My other solution was to seek counselling. Though the meditation thing didn’t work, Sally helped me realize that it could be a psychological issue and I felt like professional counselling would help.
I got a counsellor who specialized in sex disorders and booked a session with her.
“I’m proud of it. At least you’re trying to get help.” Sally said after I told her about the counselling session.
“I think this will make a huge difference. I already feel much better.”
The session went well at first since we started with the basics. However, my Counsellor started asking some deep questions which felt uncomfortable. I started feeling strange opening up to a stranger about my sex life. It didn’t help that the woman was my mother’s age and it felt like I was opening up to my mother.
It then hit me that I was going through all that humiliation just to make my girlfriend happy yet she wasn’t doing anything to accommodate me. According to her, I had a problem and she was perfect but that was the first time that someone complained about my sex drive. Maybe she was the one who had a problem.
I decided to ask her to make a compromise that would work for both of us. That evening, I went to a lingerie shop and bought some lingerie for her and headed home hoping to convince her to try to be a bit intimate. The plan blew up in my face and it only offended her more.
“Do I look like a sex doll to you that you dress up and have sex with?” She asked angrily.
“I just want my girlfriend to enjoy having sex with me. Is that too much to ask?”
“I’m sorry that I’m not horny all the time like you. This relationship isn’t going anywhere. I need someone serious with life, not someone who’s only after sex.”
“I have been with you for more than a year, I tried my best to be the man you want yet you can’t appreciate it.”
“We should break up. You deserve someone who will satisfy you.”
Sally ended the relationship since according to her, I was addicted to sex and I wasn’t serious about life. I was disappointed since I had been through a lot just to make her happy and it went down the drain. Nonetheless, the breakup was for the best. We both deserved partners who loved us just the way we were.
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