Frida and I were workmates turned lovers. However, our love was doomed from the start. Frida was HIV Positive and even though it’s no longer the killer disease that it used to be, there’s still a lot of stigma surrounding it. When my coworkers found out that I had an interest in her, they were quick to warn me about her HIV status.
“Do you know she’s HIV positive?” One of them asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“You want to die young and the way you’re handsome.” She continued.
“There’s medicine to prevent infection.”
“True but why would you risk it? There are so many girls here who are more beautiful than her you can choose from.”
“I know why I chose Frida and I don’t like that you’re talking badly about her.”
It seemed like the whole office knew Frida’s HIV status but they didn’t know anything more about her. She was the kindest, most intelligent woman I had ever met. Despite the challenges she has faced, she still kept a positive mindset and spread happiness everywhere she went.
Her intelligence and bubbly personality captured my heart and I couldn’t let her go no matter what others told me.
She also never kept her HIV status or how she got infected a secret from me. I never really asked her about it since I knew it was a sensitive topic and I didn’t want to bring up any traumatic memories.
“I found out I was HIV positive in high school.” She started. “When I was in Form 1, I had an older boyfriend who used to do shopping for me. I’d spend a week at his place when we closed school before heading home. He was the only man I had ever slept with so I knew I got it from him. Our school used to make us take a pregnancy test and an HIV test every year. I found out in Form 2 that I was HIV positive and they expelled me.”
As I listened to her telling her story, I noticed that she didn’t have any anger or bitterness towards the man who infected her. In fact, she told me that she wouldn’t even know who he was if they met.
“I don’t even remember his name. I just know that he used to live near our school and attended the same church we went to.”
It had been over 15 years and she didn’t think much about him. Besides, her life turned out pretty well. Her parents accepted her HIV status and took her to a day school where she completed her high school education and passed with flying colours. She studied Information Technology at university and has had a very successful career. If no one told you that she was HIV positive or what she had been through in high school, you would think she came from a privileged background and had a perfect life.
Despite the naysayers, our relationship flourished and a year later, I was ready to introduce her to my family. They had been asking when I was going to bring a wife home and I knew that they would be happy to meet Frida.
“Do you want to meet my family?” I asked her.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I think it’s time my mother met the amazing Frida I have been telling her about.”
“Do they know about my HIV status?”
“No, I thought that they should meet you first.”
“Are they not going to accept me if they knew I’m HIV positive?”
“I honestly don’t know how they would react but I want them to see how much I love you and accept you the way you are.”
“Okay. Do you plan on telling them?”
“Yes, later. Let’s get through the introduction first.”
“Okay.”
To be honest, I was nervous about the family gathering. Frida is usually very vocal about her HIV status and I didn’t know whether she would tell my family about it. However, I had asked her to wait until they got to know her better and she agreed.
I let my mother know that I wanted to introduce Frida to the whole family and she was so excited. She created a WhatsApp group almost immediately and started planning the event. As the days drew closer, reality finally hit me.
Even if Frida didn’t tell my family about her HIV status, they would find out eventually and I knew that they wouldn’t be as understanding about it. I felt confused and I almost cancelled the event. However, I kept telling myself that Frida was a great girl and they would love her. Additionally, if I cancelled the event, it would only make things worse.
On the day of the event, we got ready and headed to the venue. Just as I thought, everyone loved Frida. She was friendly and respectful to the point that my mother said she was wife material. I was so happy about the introduction and so was Frida. However, as the event came to a close, Frida was asked to say something to the family. I didn’t think she would mention her HIV status but I was wrong.
“I’m happy that I’ve met you. You have raised a very good man. He’s the only person in my office that hasn’t judged me because I’m HIV positive.”
Her speech was interrupted by loud gasps followed by murmurs. She tried to continue talking but no one was paying attention to her and my mother had to ask everyone to calm down. She walked back to her seat with tears running down her eyes and we had to leave the event early.
Frida regretted telling my family about her HIV status but there was nothing she could do to take it back. Just as I thought, no one understood why I was dating a girl who was HIV positive. They threatened to disown me if I continued dating her. Though I was ready to go to war for our love, Frida felt otherwise and she broke up with me shortly after. To this day, I’ve never been able to find a girl like Frida. My mother has even asked me to get back together with her but Frida doesn’t want anything to do with me.
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