I usually don’t drink because I can be a handful when I’m drunk. Before quitting, I had quite the wild party life which left me with an irreparable reputation. It started all the way back in university but the drama got worse as I got older. I would get into unnecessary fights that sometimes ended at the police station. My drunk behaviour has even ended some of my relationships since no one wants to be with a dramatic drunken mess. Additionally, I used to be very promiscuous during those days.
While I was in my second year of university, I met a man who I thought was my Prince Charming. He was rich, well-educated and had a good career. We had a brief relationship before I got pregnant. I thought it was the best thing to ever happen to us. However, reality hit hard when I broke the news to the guy.
“I took a test today. I’m pregnant.” I told him.
“With whose child?” He asked condescendingly.
“Yours of course.”
“That’s not my baby and I don’t want anything to do with it or you.”
I thought he was simply in shock and he would come around after he had enough time to think about it. That never happened. Any time I tried to reach out to him, he would chase me away like a dog. We had a back-and-forth until I realized that he really didn’t want me or the child.
“What would I do with a drunk like you? Everyone knows you sleep around with everyone.”
This was the last conversation we had before I decided to go back home. By this time, my pregnancy was visible and there was no way I could deny it. Though I had an alcohol addiction, I managed to stop drinking immediately when I found out I was pregnant. It was a struggle but with the help of my family, I stayed sober and delivered a healthy baby boy.
After giving birth, my mother wanted me to leave my child with her and go back to school. We fought but eventually, she had her way and I had to leave my child. She escorted me to school and went back with my child. This was the hardest day of my life.
I had been sober for nearly one year but that same night, I bought a bottle of vodka and got drunk until I passed out. Life on campus was hard since I kept thinking of my child. I tried to ask my mother to give him back to me but she refused. Any time I went back home, she would chase me away even before I entered the gate.
“If you keep coming back here, I will give him away.” She said after I asked for my son repeatedly.
I knew my mother would actually do it so I stopped going home and focused on school. It was only when I graduated that she allowed me to come back home and I saw my son for the first time in years. He didn’t even know who I was and thought my mother was his mother.
Once again, I was going through a rough time in my life and I turned to alcohol. Alcohol had become such a huge part of my life that I became a functional alcoholic. I could go to work and have relationships but I was drunk most of the time. It didn’t take long before I started going back to my old ways.
However, I managed to get sober and stay away from alcohol when I landed my dream job. I had lost three jobs so far because I either showed up to work drunk or I became disorderly during a work event. It took several interventions and rehabilitation to help me quit but when I got the job offer, I was more motivated to stop drinking. I managed to stay sober for a whole year and for the first time in my life, things were headed in the right direction.
“You’ve really changed.” My mother said.
“I know. Sometimes, I don’t even believe the things I did when I was drunk.” I answered.
My workmates knew a totally different person from the woman I used to be. They respected me and put me on a pedestal. Though things were going well, one small mistake could lead me down the wrong road. This is why I continued to go for counselling even though I had been sober for one year.
However, my ego became so inflated since I was finally getting the recognition I wanted. I thought nothing could go wrong and I stopped going to counselling. It didn’t take long for me to go back to drinking.
My co-workers started to notice a change in my behaviour but I kept denying that I wasn’t drunk. During the annual end-of-year party, they served unlimited alcohol and that was where I showed my true colours. I got so drunk that I almost stripped my clothes. However, a coworker managed to stop me and keep me composed for a while. The most embarrassing part was when I was called to accept an award and was asked to make a speech.
During this speech, I broke down and ended up exposing everything about my life. I told the whole company how I had a child in university, all my experiences when I was drunk and how I’d lost three jobs due to alcoholism. It felt like I was talking for hours but it had only been 10 minutes before some of my colleagues removed me from the stage.
I got an email that weekend telling me that I needed to attend a meeting the following week. They didn’t even give me a termination notice. Instead, they gave me two months’ salary and asked me to leave the company immediately.
Even though it was humiliating, I was already used to the challenges. I got sober again but this time, I have diligently attended my counselling sessions for two years straight.
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