Dating in Nairobi is a task. It should have a job description and a salary attached to that. It should be categorized in the tech industry because it is complex. It should come with psychiatric help because you will need it. Here is a complex story that makes me want to get psychiatric help for this chap.
I have discovered that there are men we date and dump, and they make it their life mission to look for you years later to show you ‘what the Lord has done’ aka, I made it bitch, look at what you lost.
I met my friend Peter some years back. He found me on social media and decided to look for me through my friends, my work website and stalking my social media activities. He was actually charming and I decided to go on a coffee date with him.
We met for coffee. We had a great time, he had great ambitions, but he was into white women. I love being a pioneer but I was not ready to be the ‘first black person’ he dated. The other thing is that he lived on jogoo road. The few times I have used jogoo road, I have had my necklace grabbed, my side mirror grabbed, my soul and sense of security grabbed, and I have said my last prayers on Jogoo road.
I was clearly not going to make it my ‘drive of shame’ location. Ah ah. Hit me with another joke.
So I politely told my dear Peter that I was not ready for anything. And that I would just waste his time and since he is a good man, I would not forgive myself if I did that. Of course I dramatize the whole conversation of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ but it was more of its not you, its Jogoo road.
Fast forward four years later.
I get a call.
ME: Who is this?
Peter: You might not remember me. My name is Peter. We met some time back for coffee. Are you still single?
ME: yes I am, please remind me where we met.
HIM: I used to live on Jogoo road. I changed my job, I am now a manager at X company, I even moved to Runda. I just wanted to invite you over for dinner. I have the best wines from Italy…bla bla bla
Here is when a psychiatrist is needed. Why would a man call you four years later, to just tell you how much he has progressed? Does he want validation? Does he suffer from low self-esteem?
I turned down the invite because I am not ready to validate a grown man. He has done well for himself, that’s great. He should send a postcard of his Runda house to his villagers so they can rejoice in what the son has accomplished. Not me. Miss me with that.
He called again to ask why I did not want to go to his house while he can make me great dinner as I enjoy the best vodka from Russia. (I am a sucker for vodka)
I have not talked to this guy for a few months now. What I have realized is that, when women dump men for ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ reasons, they take it hard. They feel inadequate. They feel weak…but that’s just my thinking.
What happens when you disappoint a man on his way to greatness? They keep tabs. And they will keep your number to remind you a few years later.
The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.