After God, fear married men. I used to hear stories of how my friends found out their men were married and laughed out loud because of how absurd their excuses were. From forgetting to not thinking it was a big deal, these men really don’t respect their marriage. Thankfully, I knew it wouldn’t happen to me since I didn’t go to the same places as my friends.
I was more of a church girl and most of the guys I dated were from church. They were all good guys and the relationships simply ended due to unavoidable circumstances. When my last relationship ended, I decided to take a break from relationships and focus on my spirituality.
I used to spend a lot of time in church even on weekdays. On weekends, when my friends went clubbing, I went to church and stayed there the whole night. It was unusual to see a young girl like me at an overnight devotion but it was part of my spiritual journey.
One of our church ushers noticed me and introduced herself.
“It’s so nice to see a girl like you coming to church.” She said.
She looked like she was in her 30s and had a bit of wisdom so I befriended her. We became close friends and she was like a spiritual guide to me. Every time I was in church I would meet her and we would catch up. Then, she started asking about my relationships. I thought it was normal since she was trying to teach me about spirituality.
“I’ve been single for 8 months,” I said.
“Really? Why so long? Or are these boys too broke for you?” She joked.
“No, I just wanted to focus on my spirituality.”
“Well, marriage is part of spirituality and you should start thinking of a serious relationship that will lead to marriage while you’re still young.”
Her words really got to me. I was only 23 but she made it seem like I was old.
“I got married when I was 19 years old.” She said. “We’re celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this weekend. Normally, we only invite married couples but I think you should come and meet someone I think will be perfect for you.”
I agreed to go to her wedding anniversary but I was nervous since I hadn’t been around many married people. I didn’t want to embarrass her or myself. When I got there, she welcomed me and introduced me to everyone.
“I want you to meet someone.” She said.
“Who?” I asked.
“He’s not here yet but he’s on his way.”
I wasn’t very happy about meeting another man but I trusted Rachel. Besides, she had really made me long for marriage and I was seriously considering a relationship.
As I mingled with the other couples, she tapped me on the shoulder and pulled me aside. I knew that the guy she had told me about had arrived as she walked with me through the huge mansion. He was standing in the garden and the moment I saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
He was so confident, well-dressed and charismatic. After introductions, she left us alone and I spent the rest of the night talking to him. I couldn’t resist him no matter how much I tried. We were among the last guests to leave Rachel’s house. He escorted me to my apartment and we planned an official date.
“I’ll pick you up on Saturday evening.” He said as he hugged me goodbye.
I kept replaying the events of that night in my head longing to spend more time with him.
He came to pick me up on Saturday and we went to a nice restaurant for dinner. He wanted to know everything about me which was different from what I was used to. I don’t think any man had known so many details about me in such a short period of time.
It was a good feeling to be the centre of attention. Then, everything came crashing down in a blink of an eye. He received a phone call and started the conversation with “Hi, baby.”
I let him finish but I confronted him afterwards.
“Who is baby? Do you have a kid?” I asked.
“No, that’s my wife.” He answered casually.
I nearly choked on my food as soon as he mentioned his wife.
“I didn’t know you were married.”
“Rachel didn’t tell you.”
“No, she didn’t. She told me you were looking for a date.”
“Yeah. I’m in an open marriage.”
The more he spoke, the more I was flabbergasted. I didn’t even know what an open marriage was at that time. For me, marriage meant that you were faithful to one partner. It was even more confusing since Rachel was a leader in the church and I trusted her guidance.
“My wife allows me to see other people even though we’re married.” He explained.
“Really? I thought you would be open to it. You seem like a free spirit but I guess I was wrong.”
“I’m a church girl and so is Rachel.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I left the restaurant, called one of my friends to pick me up and we went to her place. When I told her what had happened, she couldn’t stop laughing at me.
“I told you those church people are the worst.” She said.
I asked Rachel why she set me up with a married man and she tried to act like she didn’t know. However, after asking a couple of girls from my church, they confirmed that she had done the same thing to some of them. Their clique of married couples lured young girls to their parties and asked them to be in relationships with them. Rachel probably thought that I was one of those girls who went to church for the sake of it or because their parents forced them to.
Thankfully, my encounter didn’t go too far but I’ll probably never have the same relationship I had with the church again. I haven’t gone to church since that day and I’m seriously considering changing my religion.
She Asked Him For An Open Relationship But She Didn’t Expect The Turn Of Events
I Agreed To Be In A Polyamorous Relationship But He Still Cheated On Me
He Swore He Was A Church Boy But His Car Reeked Of Alcohol
My Crush Took Me On A Date To A Pyramid Scheme Meeting
He Asked Me Out On A Brunch Date But Took Me To Church Instead
My Date Was Too Religious Which Put Me Off
My Perfect Woman Turned Out To Be An Escort
My Best Friend Stole My Belongings And Was Secretly Dating My Boyfriend