Stephanie threw in a pack of tampons even though she was crossing her fingers, toes and other body parts, hoping her erratic period didn’t pick this week to make an appearance. She danced around the room, folding things into the two bags on her bed. She was so excited about this road trip that even the prospect of her period couldn’t dampen her spirit as she sang along to her road trip playlist. Tomorrow she’d be on the open road, the world before her, the wind blowing on her face and her problems far, far behind her. She couldn’t wait.
Her phone’s annoying default ringtone rent the air, interrupting her stellar performance and she cussed as she tossed the clothes on the bed looking for it. She smiled when she saw her friend and fellow road trip participant’s name.
“Hey, babe.” She reduced the volume on her laptop but kept bobbing to the music as she spoke.
“Hey,” her friend answered, voice low, foreboding.
Steph sat heavily on the bed. “Oh no. What’s up?”
Jill took a breath. “I can’t go. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Jill,” Steph said with a sigh, unable to find more words.
“My boss just told me he’ll be off next week so HR called and pushed my leave to the week after cause we can’t be out at the same time and apparently, he has priority. He’s such an asshole. He knew, heck, he approved my leave then just… ”
Heavy, uncomfortable silence sat between them.
“I’m so sorry,” Jill repeated, voice earnest and heavy with sorrow.
“I know. I just don’t know when I can get a whole week off again.” Steph finally said.
“I know. I talked to Will. He said he can definitely go with you.”
“What?”
“I know how badly you want to go and when I told him we were going, he asked if he could come, I said no it was a girl’s trip but after my boss, I asked if he’d go just with you and he said yes. So, if you want to, you can totally go with him.”
“Jill…” Steph said, dragging her name out. She didn’t want to go on their girl’s trip with her best friend’s brother.
“He really wanted to come the first time, so you have a willing participant. I swear I’m not making him do it.” Her voice had a seriousness to it when she added. “And he’s good people. I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t trust him and not just as my brother, but as a guy.”
Jill had suffered a traumatic assault at the hands of a guy she’d been dating while in university and was extremely cautious around men.
“I know,” Steph said. “I just really wanted it to be you.”
“I know. I didn’t know I could hate my boss any more than I did, but it looks like he’s successfully unlocked another level. I hate him. I despise him. I wish him nothing but suffering in this life and the next 12.”
“I hate him more. What a loser.”
“What a complete wanker. So, will you go with Will?” she asked.
“I’ll have to wear a bra. The whole way. What kind of road trip is that?” Steph whined.
“One that’s significantly less fun. You know you could just not wear a bra. He grew up in a household with four women. He’s accustomed to seeing women letting it hang.”
“I’m not his sister or mother. It’ll be awkward for me just swinging in the breeze in my white vest.”
“He’ll get used to it by the second hour, you’ll be alright. So, is that a yes? You’ll go with him?”
“What about rooms? All the ones we booked were shared.”
“He’s making calls to make sure you can get two separate rooms.”
They sat in silence as she thought through her options.
“You need this break and he kinda needs it too. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but he also just wanted to be on the road.”
“Okay. Tell him yes.”
“Cool. I’ll make it up to us, I promise.” Her friend vowed then laughed. “Hey, best case scenario you hook up and make this a trip for the books.”
“I’m not hooking up with your brother.” Steph protested.
“Hey, you never know. You have always had a crush on him and this might just be your chance to see if something develops. Pack them rubbers just in case. Anything could happen.”
“Anything but that.”
“You have something against my brother.”
Steph laughed. “No. Just seems like a bad idea to hook up with your friend’s brother.”
“Yeah, that’s why there’s so many stories about that. Get outta here and pack some rubbers. Bye.” She hung up before Steph could say anything.
Steph laughed and went back to throwing things into bags.
*****************************************************************
Day 1 road trip
Will stole a glance at Steph, whose eyes were trained on the road outside. She had on a white tank top and short faded jeans shorts that showed off her legs. He swallowed as he considered how torturous this road trip would be if she kept up with the booty shorts.
This was their third hour on the road and they were already out of things to talk about. The silence, however unfortunate, beat the stilted, tortured conversation they’d had in the beginning. He’d take this almost comfortable silence with the music playing in the background anytime.
Will knew she was disappointed about his sister not coming and that he was a sorry substitute for her to boot. Steph and Jill had been friends for years. He was just the brother she occasionally met at the random group hangouts. They’d never just hang out alone.
He stole another glance, registered a sadness that wasn’t usually there, and vowed to make sure she had a good time. If he did one thing on this trip, he’d put a smile or two on her face. Jill had said Steph needed this trip for undisclosed reasons and, as someone who also needed this trip, he’d make sure it was good for both of them.
They were sticking to the previous itinerary, so all he had to do was be a good partner. He could do that.
***********************************************************************************
Day 2 road trip
Steph had had the worst night. Most of it had been spent tossing and turning and feeling hot and sweaty and itchy. Ugh, she hated it. Then she’d woken up to an uncomfortable wetness that confirmed the arrival of her stupid, stupid period. If this was how the rest of this road trip was going to go, she was well and truly fucked.
She showered, dressed, and went to meet Will at the café for breakfast. They’d stopped over at this lodging facility that looked like one of those places long-distance truckers took local girls they met on the road.
She scanned the small café for him and let out a little breath when she spotted him. Will was in another pair of knee-length shorts. If they were anything like the ones he had on the previous day, they did amazing things for his legs, not to mention his ass. She’d never even thought of herself as an ass girl until they’d stopped the previous day, and she’d watched him walk away on one of their restroom breaks. Those shorts were something else.
He flashed her a smile when he saw her, and she couldn’t help smiling back. She walked to the table and sat across from him. He handed her a menu.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked.
Before she said anything, he shook his head. “Not good?”
“Could have been better. How’d you sleep?” she asked, looking over the menu.
“Pretty well. Sorry, it wasn’t good for you.”
Steph shrugged and kept looking at the menu.
“Hopefully tonight will be better. Let’s eat something small here and then we’ll buy some snacks on the road. Apparently, the views are supposed to be great in today’s section.” Will suggested.
“You’ve never done this drive?” Steph asked, surprised. She’d assumed he’d definitely done it. He seemed like the outdoorsy type who would have done it a couple of times already.
“No. This is my first time. That’s why I’m so stoked to take Jill’s place. I always wanted to do it.”
They placed their order and discussed the day’s itinerary, his naked enthusiasm rubbing off on her recently clouded by her period disposition.
*******************************************************************************************
They’d been on the road for two hours and the landscape views were already so arresting, that Steph kept taking the occasional picture.
The problem was that between taking the shots she kept rubbing her temples, and her back and looked anything but comfortable. He’d resisted the impulse to bring it up but felt like he had no choice. He pulled off to the side of the road.
“Are you okay?” Will asked.
She turned to him like she didn’t even realize they’d stopped.
“Are you okay?”
Steph rubbed her eyes as she answered, “Yeah. It’s just my period being a bit of a bitch.”
“Oh… sorry.” He said. “Is there something you need that I can do?”
“Not. Unless you can magically produce a hot water bottle to soothe my lower back.”
“I cannot, unfortunately. Should we stop somewhere and get you drugs?”
“If you can score us some weed, yes. Otherwise, I got it covered.” She said with a smile, knowing fully well he meant pharmaceutical painkillers.
“I wish.” He flashed her another one of his disarming smiles and looked like he meant it with all his heart.
They stopped at the next petrol station and while she went to the restroom, Will went shopping. He usually avoided those petrol station shops with their overly inflated prices but these were desperate times. He filled his little cart with every sweet and sugary treat that looked delicious plus some from the salty group. If she was anything like his sisters, her appetite was fucked, but treats were always welcome. He was back in the car by the time she came out.
He watched her and tried to not look obvious about it. She had on a dark pair of shorts, these ones slightly longer stopping just above her knees. She paired them with a dark blue t-shirt and beaded sandals. She looked so soft and effortlessly beautiful with her braided hair swinging in a bun. She slid into the car and he forced himself to look away from her chocolate thighs.
“Would you rather enjoy this silence or play a road trip game?” he asked, throwing her a quick glance.
“First some silence, then a game later.”
“Cool.” He said nodding. “I got some snacks, a mix of sugary and salty to choose from.”
“Okay,”
Steph inclined her seat a little more towards the back and was asleep a few minutes later. She looked so beautiful, Will thought, dragging his eyes away from her for the fourth time in as many minutes.
***************************************************************************************************
Steph sat up and straightened her seat. “Damn. How long was I out?”
He turned to her. “Not too long.”
“I’m sorry I’m not being good company. I’ll be better tomorrow, the first days, are usually the worst.”
“You’re alright. Don’t worry about it. We’re about an hour out from the viewpoint, but we’re coming up on a petrol station. Do you want to stop?”
“Yeah,” she answered.
“Cool.”
She reached into the back seat and pulled up the bag of snacks. She squealed with delight, pulling out the sour worms. “You got sour worms? I’ll love you forever.”
Will laughed. “If I’d known that was all it took, I’d have done it years ago.”
She tore open the pack and shivered as she bit into one. “You know I’ll do anything you want at this point. What game was that you wanted to play?”
“You joke, but I take promises made to me very seriously.”
“And I take sour worms very seriously, especially on my period.”
“I’ll remember that,” Will said, looking at her like he was making her a promise.
Steph looked away, focusing on the view. That was much safer than his penetrating gaze that had her wishing for things she had never associated with him. Must her out-of-whack hormones, she decided.
Will had packed a few games, including Scrabble, monopoly and Kenya @50. They snacked and played Kenya @50 while parked at one of the viewpoints. They laughed so hard, that at some point her stomach hurt more from laughter than her periodic cramps.
The drive to their hotel that night was filled with laughter as he told her stories from his childhood about him and his sisters. He said nothing about his father and though she wanted to ask, she didn’t want to risk puncturing the joyful bubble they were currently in. So, she laughed and laughed and her heart warmed up to him with every story that showed how dear his mother and sisters were to him.
As they went to their separate rooms, she had to tamp down on the impulse to suggest they share a room. She just wanted to stay with him. Just wanted to hear his voice, his deep laugh, his love for the women in his life. She could have sworn he looked just as reluctant as he walked her to her room and awkwardly said goodnight.
*********************************************************************************************************
Day 3 road trip
Will had fallen asleep with a silly smile on his face and an unusual warmth in his chest. He woke up bright and early and spent the two hours before the café opened twitching in his room. He couldn’t wait to see her. It was ridiculous how much he just wanted to be in her presence. It didn’t matter if she was asleep or laughing at his stories. He just wanted to be where she was.
He went to the hotel office and found it open. His package had arrived. He sighed with relief as he tipped the lady at the front office. He walked to the café and picked a seat that gave him a direct view of the door. He pretended to use his phone so he wouldn’t look like some creep whose eyes were trained on the door.
They were 2 hours away from the park that was their destination so they could laze the morning away. He hoped she didn’t exercise the option to laze in her room. His nerves were at an all-time high as he waited.
Will wasn’t there for even ten minutes before he looked up and found Steph at the door, the sun behind her giving her an ethereal glow. He raised his hand and waved at her, even though the café was mostly empty. He felt silly as he let his hand fall back to the table. He resisted the urge to stand up and hug instead, sliding her the menu with a smile when she got to the table.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked.
“Mhhh… so-so. You?” Steph replied, eyes glued to the menu.
“Pretty well. Why do you insist on making me boast about how well I’m sleeping?”
She laughed. “You’re the one who keeps asking how I’m sleeping. I’m not supposed to reciprocate? Sorry, I wasn’t raised like that.”
He laughed. “How were you raised?”
“Not like that.” She answered as a server arrived to take their orders.
“I got you something,” Will said, handing her a hot water bottle encased in soft pink fuzzy fabric.
Steph’s mouth dropped open.
“It’s a little late, but I hope it’ll do. It’s electric, so if it cools down, we can just charge it in the car,” he rumbled on.
Steph grabbed his hand. “Thank you. This is so… it’s too sweet.”
“You’re welcome,” he said with a suddenly shy smile.
Steph put it behind her and immediately sighed with relief, bringing a smile to his face.
********************************************************************************
Day 3 at the park
Will and Steph walked side by side through the park, eyes trained on the glass panes. Some animals were easy to spot, coming frighteningly close to the safety glass. Others hid and so they made a game of it, competing to be the first to spot them. The park featured animals in their natural habitat but encased in tempered glass. There was an enclosed path leading through the park with different intersections to choose from in a make-your-own-adventure fashion.
They started out with the carnivores which they were fortunate to find hanging out close to the glass. That was the closest either of them had ever been to them. She loved how they stood close to each other, sharing in the awe of the wild cats, then took a goofy picture, with the lions behind them. They went through the same motion whenever there were any animals close by, taking individual pictures, then one selfie together. There were snakes, monkeys and baboons, rhinos, hippos, crocodiles and so many more animals she lost track.
They stopped at the primate’s enclosure and watched the community of monkeys lazily groom each other. She smiled at the antics of the babies.
“Looks like my mom and sisters making each other’s hair on some random Saturday weekend in 1996,” Will said with an affectionate laugh, dripping with nostalgia.
Steph smiled, loving how openly affectionate towards his mom and sisters he was. He threw an arm over her shoulder and she leaned in like they’d been doing and he took a picture with the monkeys in the background.
They walked slowly on. It was getting dark. They took the exit path by mutual unspoken agreement.
“Why don’t you ever talk about your dad? Like if I didn’t know your sister, I’d assume you grew up with just your mom.” She asked, voicing the question that had been eating at her.
Silence descended like a smothering blanket, and it felt like the temperature dropped at least ten degrees.
“You don’t have to-” she started when the silence dragged on.
“It’s complicated.” He rushed in, interrupting her.
“Dads often are.” She agreed, nodding as they kept waking, eyes on the horizon and the dazzling sunset.
“If I tell you, you have to hold my hand and brace yourself for potential tears.” He said, voice playful yet failing to hide an undertone of seriousness.
She took his hand in hers, clasping it tightly and letting her free hand rub his up and down in what she hoped was as soothing to him as it was to her.
“So, Jill was telling me about how she discovered she has these coping mechanisms that are basically a trauma response from our dad. She thought it was just her personality until someone told her those were coping mechanisms she’d developed as a kid, trauma responses. I’m listening to her thinking, I don’t have that. The only effect growing up with him has on me is it made me insanely committed to not becoming like him. I don’t have any trauma responses or whatever. I’m good.” He paused.
“A few days later, I started to notice things, small things like I hate arguments and I’m just non-confrontational. I never get mad at people and then express it to them. I’ll express it alone, not like he did. How when people raise their voices in an argument, I freeze and my heart starts to race like I’m preparing to fight or run. The more I think about all these things, the more it pisses me off, the more other stuff comes up, ugh.”
He laughed though there was no humor in it. “I thought I was good. I thought I wasn’t traumatized or whatever and now I see all these things I do that look like they come from that and I just feel like I hate him for doing this to me, doing this to us. Then I think about my mom still having to live with him and I just wish he was dead, so we’d all be free, but mostly for my mom so she could live a good life without him, just for a few years. When I started thinking this was why men die before women and digging in instead of feeling guilty about wanting him dead, I figured I needed therapy. So, I’m in therapy. Been to two sessions already and I just hate him more. So that’s why I don’t talk about him and also why I needed this trip.”
Steph wrapped her hand around his waist, and he pulled her close, wrapping his around her shoulders. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Thanks for listening. Your turn. Why’d you need this trip?”
She took a deep breath. “It’s going to sound so basic, next to your thing.”
“I love that for you.” He said, rubbing her shoulder.
“I started this thing where I track all my expenses. I’ve been doing it for about three years now. The other day I was looking, and I just started crying. It feels like all I do is work, work, work and pay my bills. Sometimes I get lucky and I have some savings left, then inevitably, some emergency comes up and I’m back to zero. Slaving away for pennies, spending most of it to keep myself alive with nothing to show for it at the end of the day. It just sucks, especially because my job, my boss is the worst though whose isn’t? So, I took what’s left of my savings from the last three months and decided to make a memory before some emergency rears its ugly head.”
“That sucks. Before my mom got me this job, I was fighting tears while paying my bills. I’d get my salary, pay my bills, set aside money for transport to work and then figure out how to make whatever remained enough to feed me. That shit fucks with you.”
“A part of me feels guilty because this is most people’s story, heck other people have it worse and I’m just six seconds away from full-blown despair. What do I have to despair about? Like, who doesn’t hate their job? You’re literally here because of Jill’s wicked boss.”
“Hey, it sucks. It’s okay to feel that. Just because it’s ordinary misery doesn’t make it any less distressing, any less miserable.”
“Yeah. Still, you win.” She said with a laugh, attempting to inject some levity into the situation as they got to the parking lot.
Will stopped, gently framing her face with his big, warm hands. “I do win. But I’ll make sure you win too. We’ll make the best memories, I promise.”
He finished with a smile and took her hand as they walked to the car. Steph smiled, warmth suffusing her chest. God help her, she believed him.
She didn’t know how tired she was until she sank into the passenger seat. “God, I’m beat.”
“Me too,” he echoed next to her, turning the car on.
They were at the hotel about ten minutes later. They ate an early dinner at the café then he walked her to her room.
“I had a great time,” Steph said, looking up at him. Was it her, or was he standing too close?
“Me too,” he whispered, eyes on her eyes, then her lips.
She licked her lips, and he swallowed thickly before locking eyes with her again.
She raised her hands, wrapping them around his neck to pull him down, awkwardly balancing the hot water bottle as she rose on tiptoe to place a kiss on his lips. He returned the kiss tentatively, his arms going around her waist, pulling her flush against him. She rubbed herself on him, heedless of the fact that they were outside. He deepened the kiss with a small groan that sent shivers down her back.
She pulled back, out of breath. His arms remained around her, stroking her.
“Tell me you want this as much as I do,” Will said, placing a tiny kiss on the side of her mouth.
“Hell, yeah,” Steph said.
He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on hers in relief.
“But…” She started.
He pulled back and opened his eyes.
“I’m just not at period sex yet. If you still want to, I’ll be good tomorrow night.”
“Hell, yeah I want to.”
They shared a smile before she turned to unlock her door. He leaned over her, kissing her neck.
“Do you want to sleep together, anyway? I just want to keep hanging.”
She laughed, and he joined her.
“Okay. But you shower first because I want to take my time.”
“Done.” He said with a kiss on her cheek.
Day 4
Will wanted to keep waking up like this. That’s all he knew. Steph was asleep on her side, in a light t-shirt that did little to hide her heavy breasts. A t-shirt that had ridden up her hips. Hips that were deliciously pressed to his groin as he spooned her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to imprint her scent on him along with the image of her soft in sleep.
They were supposed to start the trip back today. He couldn’t think of something he wanted to do less as he stared at her face, trying to memorize it at that moment.
Almost like the intensity of his gaze pulled her out of sleep, she slid slowly into wakefulness, turning to face him. The smile she flashed him went straight into the volt of images he was trying to memorize.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked with a smile.
“Really well. Great actually.”
“Looks like you found the answer. Do more of that, less of that other thing.”
“More of a man in my bed, less of the period thing. Got it.”
“Not a man, this man. Accuracy is everything with these things.”
“Noted.”
“Let’s stay another day if you can. If you want to. Would you like to stay another day?” Will asked, tripping over his words like he was nervous.
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Cool, in that case, whatever will we do with this day?” He asked, pulling her into his arms, her head on his naked chest.
Steph traced circles over his nipples and belly. “What are you thinking?”
“I can’t exactly think while you do that,” he said playfully.
“Take your time. We have all day.”
They lazed most of the morning away in bed, then drove into the nearby town for a late brunch and a walking tour. They were on their way back when he suggested they check out one of the clubs in town.
“Yeah, I didn’t exactly pack clubbing clothes. I didn’t even pack a bra until you took Jill’s place.”
“By all means, ditch the bra going forward. I have nothing special either, just shorts, t-shirts, dance a little and come back. Let me show you a good bra-less time.”
And he did, though she did wear a bra to the club.
They found a small, yet packed club with local bangers they could sing along to and were on their feet dancing most of the night. Both of them stuck to non-alcoholic cocktails throughout the night so they couldn’t even blame the alcohol for spending all that time slow dancing to party music. Their hands travelled all over each other’s bodies in what was the most public form of foreplay Steph had ever engaged in. There must be something about being so far away from home.
She stood on tiptoe to speak right into his ear and felt a shiver run through him before she even said a word, his arms going around her to hold her up. She let out a shaky breath.
“Let’s go.”
He responded with a kiss that buckled her knees, then took her hand to lead her out of the dark, noisy establishment.
She let out a nervous laugh when they finally made it out past the gyrating bodies blocking their way.
The drive to the hotel was the longest and the shortest. Will stopped at one of those late-night chemists, allowing Steph to finally catch her breath.
“Condoms,” he said in apology as he leapt out of the car.
She had the window open down but still felt way too hot. He came back in a rush and they peeled off the parking lot.
“You didn’t pack condoms? Oh, ye of little faith.”
“Did you pack condoms?”
“I’m always packing. It’s best to be prepared.” She bluffed.
He pulled into the parking slot they’d been using.
He stared into her eyes, lips pursed in concentration as if he was trying to figure her out.
“Okay, we’ll use yours,” he finally said, opening his door and getting out.
“Yeah, babe. That’s my emergency stash.” She said, exiting through her end.
“Liar.” He said, wrapping his arms around her as they walked up the stairs.
“Look who’s back to not getting some,” she said as she opened her door.
He plastered himself to her back, kissing her neck. “Okay, you win. You have a stash and you’re always prepared.”
When they walked in, he locked the door behind her and crowded her at the door.
“Do you wanna?” he asked, a serious look on his face.
“Hell, yeah.” She said, going on tiptoe to kiss him. “I just need to take care of a little something first, then game on.”
“Hell, yeah.” He said, raising his hand to high-five her. She high-fived him, then walked to the bathroom laughing.
*****************************************************
They started their journey back the following morning and spent every night on the road back together. The entire journey home, Will agonized over asking her to extend this little thing they’d discovered on this trip. He was worried she’d say no for a million reasons from the fact that his sister was her friend to his hangups re: his dad. No way she was going to say yes after getting a front-row seat to the havoc that was his mental landscape.
Now they were five minutes away from her house, and he still hadn’t said a word about it. She had also fallen silent once they’d entered the city limits as if the reality of life had punctured and invaded their little bubble of joy. The slice of heaven he’d discovered and could not imagine losing. He couldn’t handle it and would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try.
Will pulled up in front of her door and they both got out. He took her bags from the back seat and walked her to her apartment.
Steph was preoccupied with looking for her keys in her bag while he tried to find the words that would convince her to say yes. She pulled out the keys, and he wanted to scream. He wanted more time, dammit.
He held her hand to keep her from turning it and unlocking her door. She turned to look at him.
“I had a great time, like the best time. I basically love Jill’s evil boss at this point. I don’t want this to end. I like you and I think if we hang out more, I’d just like you more and I really want that. I want to like you more. Please, tell me that’s something you’d like.”
“Yeah,” Steph said, interlocking their fingers. “I’d like that.”
“Hell, yeah.” He said, sealing it with a kiss.
“I’ll call you,” he said when he pulled away. He blew her a kiss and laughed along with her as he left, going down the stairs.
Steph walked into her apartment, closed the door and leaned on the door like some love-struck character from a rom-com, feeling every bit like a character in the sweetest rom-com.
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