Hope cued her preferred adult film, and slid off her panties, impatiently tossing the crumpled fabric on her dresser. She felt around the drawer for her favourite vibrator, squinting in the dark when she didn’t feel it. She clicked in annoyance, switched on her phone’s flashlight and directed it at the drawer. She frowned when it was clear every toy she’d accumulated over the years was in the drawer except the one she desperately wanted.
She stomped out of bed and switched on the lights. Half an hour later, everything was everywhere, but her favourite vibrator was nowhere. She collapsed on the bed and rubbed her temples, trying to ward off the headache that was steadily building.
Hope walked out of her room and walked to the door opposite hers. Maybe her housemate, Ashley, knew something. She knocked and then pushed the door open.
“Hey, did Diana get into my room today?” Hope asked, referring to the girl who came in once a week to help them with housework.
“Nah, I don’t think so. You told her not to, right?”
Her temples pounded. “Yes.” She said, voice tight. “That’s why I’m asking you. Can you just try to remember?”
Ashley canted her head to the side, puzzled. “I told you I don’t think so. Being all cranky isn’t going to produce another answer from me.”
Hope grunted, then walked out, closing the door behind her. She tossed and turned everything then dejected crawled into bed, shut down the laptop and tried to sleep, frustrated in more ways than one.
**********************************************************************
Hope was doing some busy work in the office when it came to her like thunder from the gods. The last time she’d used it was in the living room when Ashley had gone out of town. She’d wanted a change of scenery. Her heart sank. They’d sold that couch two weeks ago on some decluttering page online that connected buyers and sellers. She grabbed her phone and exhaled with relief when she saw the guy’s number. Thank God she’d not deleted it. As a general rule, she didn’t retain men’s numbers, immediately deleting them when their business was done.
She left the office and walked to the wooded area next to the parking lot. She thanked her lucky stars that it was empty. She paced, rehearsing what she’d say, then dialled his number.
“Hello, this Hope, am speaking to Isaac?”
“Yeah, this is he.”
“I sold you a couch about two weeks ago.”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Here’s the thing…” she hesitated.
“You don’t want it back, do you?” He asked, already sounding defeated like he’d send it back if she said the word.
“No, no. Not that. The thing is, I left something in it and I’d like to come get it.”
“Oh, okay. That’s fine.”
“Thanks. Can we do it this weekend?”
“Yeah. I’ll text you my address.”
“Thank you so much.”
“It’s cool. You’re welcome.”
Hope pumped her fist in the air, barely holding herself from jumping around while singing songs of praise. She’d been so afraid he’d offer to find it and bring it to her. The relief that came with knowing that wasn’t happening was exhilarating.
*********************************************************************************
Isaac leaned back on one of the single seats directly facing the couch in question. An arresting yellow, it was like nothing else in the entire house. Ever since he’d reached in and come back with a light purple vibrator, he’d not been able to sit on the couch. He’d been deep cleaning the couch after going on an internet deep dive that had fanned his paranoia. He’d been vacuuming the corners when he reached in to take out any big pieces of dirt and instead came back with that dainty vibrator. He’d sat heavily on one of the stools surrounding the table, wondering what was happening. Wondering what traditionally came next after you happened upon a stranger’s sex toy?
This is what happens when you decide to step out of your comfort zone and buy a second-hand yellow couch.
It had been a week since he’d found the vibrator. He’d not sat on the couch the entire time and inexplicably felt the early stirrings of arousal when he saw it. He kept fighting the image of her pleasuring herself, moaning as she… God! He shook his head as if to scatter the thoughts gathering.
That must be some toy, he’d concluded. I mean, it had to be so good, that the owner couldn’t just keep it confined to the bedroom. She was using it in the living room, and he knew because he’d picked up the couch with one of his buddies one rainy Saturday morning. It had been smack dab in the middle of the living room.
Hope had been dressed in a pair of comfy-looking sweatpants that sinfully cupped her ass. She’d looked all warm and soft, having just gotten out of bed as she opened the door, apologizing for oversleeping. Her braids were piled on her head in a messy heap and her cheek had a thin dried line of what had to be saliva, and yet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was temporarily tongue-tied forcing his friend to introduce them, a silly knowing grin on his face.
Isaac spent the entire time they talked, cataloguing everything he loved. They were the same height, which was great. He was a short guy. She was all curves and while he was more on the lean side, he loved, loved, loved how she looked. Loved her voice, how sure she sounded, loved how friendly she was, heck he even loved the couch when he saw it. It looked as good as it did in the pictures she’d posted.
Hope stood to the side with her housemate watching him, his friend, and the taxi driver they’d hired manoeuvre the couch out of the house. Then he’d paid and assumed he’d never see her again. Now the universe was conspiring to actualize his deep, unspoken, heck, unacknowledged desire.
Isaac went to his room and gingerly took the vibrator from his nightstand drawer where he kept it. He’d removed it, afraid some guest would stick their hand down there and come back with a surprise that he’d never be able to explain. He stuck it back into the couch approximately where he found it. There was no reason to let her know he knew, no reason to embarrass her like that. He spent the entire day distracted from work, constantly looking at the couch, expecting what even he did not know. He groaned. He could not handle three days of this. He was going to have to work from one of the cafes he frequented.
*******************************************************
Hope took a few deep breaths in quick succession in an attempt to regulate her breathing as she stood outside his door. She counter-checked the door number, then knocked, frowning when she noticed her hands had a slight tremor to them. She wasn’t just nervous about the vibrator. He was a strange man and she was alone. At her apartment, she hadn’t been alone, her housemate had been there, and she’d alerted the security guards as well. She hadn’t been able to muster the courage to ask Ashley to come with her but had told her where she was going.
“Hey,” Oscar said, opening the door, a warm smile on his face.
“Hey,” Hope answered, mastering a smile.
He indicated she could walk in and she did, turning to watch him close the door. She liked that they were the same height. It made her feel safer, for reasons she knew were not rational. His warm smile and soft boy look didn’t hurt, either. He had a light beard, and his hair was in a cute messy afro. He was lean and had a softness to him that told her he must have been teased about it.
“Can I get you something, water, some juice as you look?” He asked.
“I’ll have some water,” Hope said, taking the opportunity that had fallen into her lap. When he left the room, she dived to the corner of the couch, gripped the vibrator and slipped it into her bag with enough time left to catch her breath and pull out the decoy book she’d brought with her. She pretended to look around the room, holding the book close to her. Everything in there was black or a soft brown, with the exception of the couch. It somehow worked, though.
Isaac walked back in and she took the proffered glass of water, sipping before thanking him. She raised the small book and showed it to him. “It’s pretty special. I didn’t want to lose it.”
“Oh, I get that. There are books it would break my heart to lose.”
She put the glass on the table and headed for the door. He followed after her as they walked out.
“Did you drive?” He asked.
“No, matatu. What book would break your heart if you lost it?” she asked.
“On Mortality by Christopher Hitchens. The prose is,” he did a chef’s kiss to indicate how good. “Plus, a friend gave it to me, so it’s special for more reasons than one.”
They talked about books for a minute as he walked her to the bus stop.
There was a brief lull in the conversation.
“So the couch is a shocking splash of colour. Why’d you change your dominant black and brown motif?”
He laughed. “Been trying to get out of my comfort zone. Try new things.”
“Oh, it looks great,” she said. “And super clean, too. What did you do?”
He tripped on his own feet, and when she turned to look at him, she knew. She just knew.
He rushed to explain. “I… cleaned it a little bit.”
“You found it and put it back.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry.” He muttered.
“Okay, let’s hear it. What jokes and remarks have you been holding back on sharing?” She asked, her voice tight with shame and anger that she was ashamed. She had no reason to be ashamed.
“None,” he answered after a brief pause. “Look, I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or something like that. I would never judge anyone for taking charge of their own sexual pleasure. God knows I’m out there doing it every night like some adult version of tucking myself in. I woke up this morning, and it was quite literally the first thing I thought of and did. You’re not going to get any judgment from me.”
“Every night?” Hope asked. “As in every single night?”
Isaac laughed. “That’s what we call hyperbole. You’re one to talk though. Who does it in the living room?”
Hope laughed, hiding her face. “I was trying to spice things up. Changing location seemed like a good place to start.”
They got to the bus stop and stood even though one matatu that was going her way was already there boarding passengers.
“I’ve got to ask. Is there something about that particular one?” He asked, a shy smile on his cute face.
She laughed. “Like I said, it’s special. A friend of mine bought it for me when she was in the US and when I tell you there’s nothing like it locally, there’s no hyperbole there.”
“Woah,” he said, exhaling heavily.
She laughed out loud, covering her mouth with her palm when people turned to look at them.
“You sound like you want to rub one out right now.”
“Just hella jealous.” He said.
Hope licked her lips. “Of me or my little friend?”
He shook his head, zeroing in on her lips. “Mostly you.”
She laughed. “Mostly, huh?”
“Mostly.”
Two matatus came and left while they stood there, making eyes at each other and talking about adult toys in public.
“I should take the next matatu,” Hope said. “It looks like it’s going to start raining.”
He nodded. “Yeah, wouldn’t want you to get caught in that.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Are you saying you wouldn’t want me wet?”
He looked away, biting his lip, a small laugh escaping. “I would never say that.”
A new matatu arrived.
“Thanks. It was nice meeting you again,” Hope said, then started walking towards it.
Isaac reached for her hand, staying her exit. “Would you maybe want to spice things up with me?”
“Only if you want to get out of your comfort zone, try new things with me.”
“That’s a resounding yes, from me.”
“And a resounding yes from me, too,” Hope answered.
“Okay. I’ll call you.” He said.
She winked at him, then got on the matatu.
*************************************************************************
Two months later
Isaac was seated on the vibrator corner of the couch. Hope was leaning on him, her feet stretched out on the rest of the couch, his arm over her shoulder holding her close. It was a cool rainy evening, and she was basking in their blooming romance. They’d just come from a couple’s cooking class, their third date. His food was so delicious and he was so damn at home in the kitchen, she spent the better part of the class mulling over how hot he was. Competence porn was real.
“Can you do me a favour?” Hope asked.
“Of course. What do you need?”
“I think I dropped the remote in the vibrator corner.”
He shook his head playfully, then contorted himself so he kept his left hand around her shoulder while fidgeting with his left.
“Woah,” he said, raising the vibrator up high, like a prize.
“I was wondering how serious you were about all that new stuff and spicing of things.”
“How about I show you, dispense with all this talk, talk, talk.” He asked, kissing her cheek.
“You wanna do it here or the bed?”
“How about we Christen this magical couch first, then round two in bed?” He asked.
She threw off the Afghan covering her and straddled him. His arms immediately went to her hips, holding her, steadying her.
“I like the sound of round two.”
“I like the sound of that.” He said, turning on the vibrator.
“Okay, me first, then you,” Hope said, an anticipatory moan leaving her lips. She leaned down and kissed him. “You next.”
“Well, damn.” He said capturing her lips in his, in a deep passionate kiss. “I like the sound of that.”
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