It’s important to be kind to everyone because you don’t know what people are going through. In this age where we’re losing so many people to suicide because of depression, I try to spread love wherever I go, whether or not I think the person deserves it.
I knew that Martin had a story to tell from the time I saw him. As mentioned, I try not to judge anyone but there was something about him that made me feel uneasy. He wandered around the party talking to anyone who would listen until he finally got to me. On the surface, Martin looked completely normal. He was calm, confident and to an extent, charming. However, the more we talked, the more I realized that he had a lot of skeletons in his closet.
“Can I tell you a secret?” He asked.
“I’m thinking about going to rehab.” He said.
“I have an alcohol and sex addiction.” He started.
I was used to meeting and talking to people who were addicted to substances but I had never met someone addicted to sex. I didn’t know what to say to him so we sat in silence for a minute or so.
“Anyway, it was nice meeting you.” He said then got up to leave.
When he left, a friend of mine came over to me and gave me a stern warning.
“Stay away from that guy.” He said.
“Everybody avoids him like a plague. He’s going to mess up your life.”
“Is that how you treat a friend who is dealing with depression?”
“Depression? He’s not depressed. He’s the one who makes girls go into depression.”
My friend started telling me about the things he had done and though it made me squirm, I still sympathized with the guy.
“He’s in a WhatsApp group full of girls and he scrolls through it to pick random girls to sleep with. He filmed himself having sex with one girl and posted it on the apartment WhatsApp group. He was about to be kicked out but he bribed the caretaker.” My friend explained.
“He told me that he’s addicted to sex,” I said.
“Maybe he is, but if I were you, I would be careful about him. He’s not a good person.”
Despite my friend’s warning, I thought Martin couldn’t be as bad as he described him. Sure, he had his flaws but who didn’t? Besides, he had lots of redeeming qualities. He had a successful interior design business which was more than most guys I had met in the past. He drove a white BMW and every time I saw him, he looked good. Once he went to rehab and recovered from his sex addiction, he would be perfect.
We spent a lot of time together before he left for rehab. I gave him a shoulder to lean on and reassured him that he had someone who was always going to be there for him.
“I lost so many friends after that incident with the apartment management. They didn’t understand that I was going through depression and what I did was a cry for help.” He explained.
“It’s okay. I understand you and I won’t leave you.”
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel like I can be myself around you.”
“Of course, you can.”
He leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. I didn’t even realize it until that moment but I was attracted to Martin. After that day, we officially started dating. It was challenging since I was always worried that he would cheat on me. However, Martin assured me that he wanted to change. He deleted the WhatsApp groups and all the numbers of the girls he had.
“This is the first normal relationship I’ve ever had.” He said during one of our date nights. “I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone for more than a few weeks.”
“This is a first for me too,” I answered.
Just when I was getting comfortable in the relationship, cheating rumours began to swirl. Martin was back to his old ways and he had been seen with other women. I confronted him about it and he assured me that they were just friends.
I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I knew who I was dating and I was prepared for such things, especially in the early stages of the relationship. As long as there was no intimacy, I was willing to tolerate it until he got professional help.
However, I noticed that Martin was no longer keen on going to rehab or at least talking to a therapist about his addictions.
“I’m doing fine now.” He said when I asked if he was still planning on going.
“You are, but it doesn’t hurt to see a professional. They will give you long-term solutions.”
“I’ll go but I’m busy with work. Besides, I’m still enjoying our relationship.”
I gave him time until he felt ready to get help. However, the more time I gave him, the worse he got. Then, he disappeared suddenly. I thought that he was going through depression and got worried that he was suicidal. I called everyone I knew and asked around if they had seen him but everyone told me the same thing.
“He probably ran away because he got a girl pregnant.”
I thought that they were making up lies about him but I came to find out that they were telling me the truth. A heavily pregnant girl showed up at the apartment where Martin and I lived together. She demanded to see him and refused to leave even though I told her that he hadn’t been around for more than a week.
My friend came over to the apartment and confirmed that she was the girl everyone had seen Martin with numerous times. I felt bad that Martin had lied to me but at least I wasn’t pregnant with his baby. The saddest part is I probably would have forgiven him if he told me the truth.
This story is based on @CodyDominic_‘s post.
She Broke Up With Me Because I Was Addicted To Sex
I Agreed To Be In A Polyamorous Relationship But He Still Cheated On Me
I Found Out He Was Still Sleeping With His Baby Mama
The Singlehood Series: He Ghosted Me After Three Years Living Together
He Disappeared Because He Was Depressed Turns Out He Was Dealing With The Consequences Of Cheating