What would make a man just walk out one day and disappear for good after living together for three years? I found myself asking this question repeatedly while lying on a pillow soaked in my tears. I didn’t know what to do, where to start or how to move on when the love of my life ghosted me like I meant nothing to him. It felt like I had been discarded as if I was a useless piece of trash and no matter how hard I tried to pick myself up, it just didn’t work. I don’t usually regret things but I regret the day I met Isaac.
I don’t know how Isaac managed to get my attention considering I had a very specific type and he wasn’t it. Normally, I was attracted to tall, well-built men and Isaac was the complete opposite. He was short with a bit of a beer belly but my friend convinced me to give him a chance.
“You’ve been dating these tall men all your life and where did that get you? Such a guy will be faithful to you and treat you like a princess.” She said.
I was still hesitant but agreed to go on a date with him. After that date, I knew that he was the one for me. He worked his magic and I fell for him. That’s the only way I can explain how I went from not finding him attractive to thinking he was the most amazing man in the world. It’s not like he did or said something that I hadn’t seen or heard a million times but somehow, he convinced me to give him a try.
As days went by, my love for Isaac got deeper and stronger. I loved him like I was possessed. I wanted to be around him all the time and I even started alienating my friends. Since Isaac was an introvert, we spent most days indoors. We only met our friends when there was a big event like a birthday or wedding and even at those events, Isaac and I were inseparable. After some time, my friends accepted that I was in my wifey era.
“See how you’re glowing. What is Isaac feeding you?” Eden, the friend who convinced me to date Isaac, asked proudly.
“Just love and care,” I answered with a smile.
“I’m just waiting for the wedding invite.”
I thought that after six months, the honeymoon phase would come to an end and we’d start having problems. However, Isaac was a perfect gentleman for the first two years of our relationship. We even went to my home to meet my parents and after that, Isaac was a regular at our family functions.
After dating for two years, Isaac finally proposed and we started planning for a ruracio (dowry payment). I was over the moon. I thought that marriage was not in my future since I had such bad luck in my past relationships but it seemed like my luck had finally turned around. The ring on my finger reminded me that someone genuinely loved me, or so I thought.
Since the ruracio was a bit far, I planned it slowly. Whenever I found a designer or caterer that I liked, I would ask Isaac for his opinion and he would always have a reason to dismiss them.
“I’ve seen these designs everywhere. They’re not creative.” He said.
I went back and forth with him so much that the planning process became more dreadful than fun. At times, he would shut down my suggestions for no reason. It was unlike him to be that antagonistic so it hit me hard. I thought that he was getting cold feet about the event and decided to put the planning on hold until I figured out what was going on.
“I’m going to put a pause on planning the ruracio,” I told Isaac.
“Why?”
“It’s still far away and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.”
“Okay. Take your time.”
I thought that he was being supportive of the decision only to find out that he was buying time. Once I stopped the planning process, things cooled down. We didn’t have any arguments and Isaac was back to his old self. However, he stopped being romantic and showing me affection. We slowly stopped talking to each other since he would isolate himself in the bedroom.
Any attempts to talk to him were futile. He would wake up in the morning, get ready for work, leave then return in the evening. I didn’t know what had triggered the sudden change and since I wasn’t as close as I used to be with my friends, I had no one to talk to.
My mother was the only one I could talk to but she couldn’t understand the situation either.
“Just give him time. He’s probably thinking about the dowry. He’ll come down once it’s over.” She explained.
“Maybe I should postpone it until he’s ready. I may have rushed things and he wasn’t financially ready.”
“Don’t worry about that. He’s a man. He can handle it.”
I listened to my mother’s advice and went through with the ruracio plans. The only problem was I needed money to pay the vendors and Isaac was giving me the silent treatment. So, to soften him up, I organized a romantic dinner date for us at home. I knew that if he refused to have dinner with me then I would be making a mistake marrying him.
He came home as usual, walked past the dinner set up and went to the bedroom. Then, he came out and joined me at the dining table. We had a lovely dinner and he even promised to give me money for the event the following week. My excitement was back and in full force not knowing that I was about to experience the biggest disappointment I ever felt in my life.
The following week, Isaac told me that he was going on a work trip. It was unusual since for the three years that we had lived together, he had never gone on a work trip before. Nonetheless, I allowed him to go.
“I’ll send you the money once I get there,” he said.
I bid him goodbye and that was the last I ever saw of him. As soon as he left, I went to our bedroom and noticed that he had packed an unusually large amount of clothes. However, I didn’t suspect that he had left for good since he had left some of his stuff. When he didn’t communicate for four days, then I started getting suspicious.
I called his office to get a number that I could contact him with but they informed me that Isaac had resigned a month ago. That was when it hit me that he had ghosted me. He had been planning to leave me for months at the very least. I still don’t know the reason since I’ve never been able to contact him.
I isolated myself out of shame since I had treated my single friends as if I were better than them. When I noticed that I was sinking into depression, I knew I had to reach out to someone before it was too late. Eden was more forgiving than the others though we couldn’t mend our friendship.
As for Isaac, I forgave him for ghosting me but I learnt my lesson. I’m not interested in relationships anymore.
This story was inspired by this story we found on Twitter.
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