Being a hopeless romantic has always led me to trust people blindly. However, with time I started to pick up on important red flags. This made it easier for me to know if someone was right for me or not. Unfortunately, with Titus, my heart got the best of me.
I met Titus during a work event. Being a Saturday I wasn’t thrilled about spending my afternoon taking notes and watching people mingle amongst each other. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater. However, being in a space filled with people I don’t know makes me feel anxious. That day I decided to sit at the back and focus on my phone, especially during breaks.
Titus was seated beside me and because of my antisocial behaviour, I didn’t notice him until he asked me if he could borrow a charger. When it comes to men, some are appealing to look at, but I would never consider dating them. Then there are those that I find attractive and consider them potential partners.
Titus fell in the first category. However, we ended up having a small conversation after the event and with time he warmed his way to my heart. Compared to the men I had dated Titus was the only man who ticked all my green flag boxes. Apart from being handsome, he was also very caring and romantic. Not to mention that every time he met any one of my family members, he would leave such a lasting impression.
Getting to know Titus was like being on a honeymoon for months. We had our fair share of lows, but we would always find a way to solve them. Our relationship moved faster than I expected but I enjoyed the journey until one random day when Titus went missing.
In my past relationships, I was always so comfortable with staying over at my ex’s. I always felt like it made it easier for me to spend time with my partner. When I started dating Titus so much of what I felt was normal in my past relationships felt odd in my new relationship. Titus knew that I had gone through so much emotional damage and so he always tried his best to treat me well.
In all the months we had been together we never slept together or spent time in each other’s houses. However, I knew where he lived, and Titus always dropped me off at my place. People like to say that you can never really know someone until you have lived together. During my relationship that sounded so foolish because I did know Titus.
We had formed a routine that worked so well. He would text me every morning and then call at lunchtime. Every week we would do date night once or twice depending on how our days were. Whenever either of us had a function to attend we would sync our calendars to make it easier to remember. Despite how busy Titus was he would always make time for me, which is why I felt like my heart had sunk on one random Monday when I couldn’t reach him.
Like any other Monday, I woke up early, prepared for work and left the house. It took me two hours to get to the office due to traffic and being a rainy day, I was so grumpy. Nevertheless, I remained calm since I knew Titus’s text would make my morning better. I settled down and decided to check my messages before diving into work. The notifications kept popping up but none from Titus.
“Maybe he had an early meeting,” I thought to myself as I placed my phone on the table and started working.
During my lunch break, I spent the hour going through my socials waiting for him to call but he never did so I tried calling him. Titus would always answer after the first ring so as soon as I heard it ring a couple of times, I knew something was wrong. But being an overthinker I thought it best to give him time to call me back.
Days went by and Titus hadn’t called or texted me back, the worst part was he was active on Instagram and Twitter. Having gone through so much with men you would think I would have gotten used to being hurt but nope I still felt bad. By the end of the week, I was overwhelmed with emotions so I decided to call him hoping he would pick up so I could rant.
On the first call he didn’t pick so I called him again and he hung up the call. An hour later, he sent me a text letting me know that he would call me in the evening so we could talk. True to his word he did.
“Why haven’t you replied to my texts or called me back in the past couple of days?” I asked in anger.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t been myself of late. I feel like I’m slipping into a dark place mentally,” He replied.
“Would you like to talk about it?” I asked in a soft tone.
“No, I think this is something I have to deal with alone,” He replied.
From the sound of his voice, I could tell that whatever he was going through was weighing him down. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to push him, so I let things be. I figured he would talk to me once he was ready.
“Okay, I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to,” I replied.
“Thanks, take care,” He said before hanging up.
For the first time, he didn’t call me babe or finish the call with “I love you,”. I felt so much worse than when I was in the dark about what was going on with him. In the days that followed he didn’t call or text me. Since I didn’t want to seem inconsiderate to what he was going through I didn’t reach out as well. Two weeks passed by, and I started to get concerned, so I decided to go see him on a Saturday.
The moment he opened the door I could tell from his facial expression that he didn’t seem happy to see me.
“Are you okay? I just thought I should come over and check in if you are okay,” I said as I walked in.
“Yeah, you didn’t have to come all the way,” He said.
“I know but I miss you and I wanted to see you,” I replied.
Before he had the chance to respond there was a knock on the door.
“I’ll go get it,” I replied.
“No babe, let me get it,” He said quickly and rushed to the door.
Everything seemed okay until he stepped outside then I heard a woman yelling. I don’t like listening to conversations that don’t involve me but, in this case, I couldn’t help it. I opened the window slightly since opening the door would raise suspicion.
“You haven’t spoken to me in weeks, how do you expect me to deal with this?” The woman said.
“I just need time to wrap my head around this whole situation. Can you give me some space!” Titus replied angrily.
“Figure what out Titus? I’m the one carrying your child, if anyone should be figuring things out it’s me!” The lady snapped.
I don’t know how I managed to rush out of the house.
“Baby?” I asked in disbelief.
Titus opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by the woman.
“This isn’t over Titus. I refuse to deal with this pregnancy on my own,” She said before turning to leave.
“So, this whole time I was feeling sorry for you, and you were here trying to comprehend the fact that you’re going to be a baby daddy?” I said in anger.
Titus didn’t respond, instead, he paced around with his hands on his head. Thinking back to everything I had been through at the hands of men; I knew that pushing for an answer would make me feel worse. So, I walked back to the house, grabbed my bag and left.
I thought that the healing process would take less time since I was used to men doing the worst to me. However, with time I realized that Titus’s betrayal was like dealing with a fresh deep wound.
This story was inspired by a post shared on Twitter which you can find here
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