Friday evenings hadn’t felt like Friday evenings since the pandemic. After months of curfew and minimal interaction, we would have a small gathering of friends. The excitement of meeting people after a long time was almost tangible. There were no hugs because even with lower infection rates, the pandemic triggers this limbo where you want to resume normal interactions as you had known them before the virus, but you’re still aware that it’s still looming. So, you want to maintain all the safety precautions, but a part of you yearns for human interactions. A day at a time is the mantra.
Nonetheless, everybody was just happy to be there. It was supposed to be polite chillout, friends, and perhaps one or two acquaintances catching up and playing games over a few drinks. It was a BYOB kind of party. That was how I noticed her- a beautiful girl with two bottles of tequila. “Who brings two bottles of tequila to a house party?” I mused.
The night was filled with laughter. At some point, we divided ourselves into teams to play card games. The tequila girl was on my team. She was bubbly and soft-spoken. She had the kind of aura that drew in people. Her only fault was that she really sucked at the games. Perhaps it was the tequila, but we bonded over how she weighed down our team.
“You do know the aim of the game is to avoid taking shots, yeah?” I asked with a cheeky smile.
“Apparently I came out all guns blazing got to find a way to get you all to help me finish these bottles,” she said.
We had a good laugh and continued with our losing streak.
It was around 1 A.M., and it was raining heavily. It was evident that we were not leaving any time soon. People grouped themselves. Some were trying to make a snack in the kitchen, while others were out on the balcony. We had struck a friendship, at least, for the night with the tequila girl, so we sat there talking.
“So, who comes with two bottles of tequila to a house party?” I asked her.
“Judgy much?” she teased.
“No, really tequila is one of those drinks…you know what I mean?”
“I know,” she said as she poured us more shots.
“You are clearly a girl on a mission,” I said as I cursed out the shot.
“Who comes with two bottles of tequila to a house party you asked. A girl with something to forget. Oh, my dear, character development doesn’t begin to explain it,” she said.
I knew it would be a juicy story, and I began to appreciate the tequila.
“So I have just come from a two and a half years relationship and the man barely touched me for the last six months,” she said.
“That’s a long time,” I said, quite unsure of where this conversation was headed.
“That’s not even the worst part,” she said with an expression on her face that promised more.
“He told me he was struggling with his manhood, you know erectile dysfunction. So he didn’t need the pressure of being with me physically only for me to find out as I was having cold nights he was cheating with multiple women.”
“What? That sucks,” I told her, thinking about how much it must hurt her that she was pouring out her heart to a stranger.
“Imagine, for six months the most action I was getting was from mosquito bites and women were calling him ‘dzaddy the stallion,” she said.
I burst out laughing. Tequila girl had really been through the trenches with this guy. I wondered how they had even gotten to the point of no physical contact. She explained that after two years of a good relationship, the guy suddenly claimed that the stress from work was affecting his performance. After three months of the same excuse, he said he wasn’t sure what the problem was anymore because the workload had reduced, but he still wasn’t back to normal.
“You know how Luhya men come highly recommended? Believe the hype,” she said.
“Oh really?” I asked as I took a mental note.
“Yes, so I had no reason to doubt him. I went on a mission to find remedies for his situation. I started showing up at his workplace with smoothies containing blackberries, pomegranates, bananas, and I would even add moringa powder because my research said it works,” the tequila girl narrated with heavy emotion.
The mood had changed, and she was almost in tears as she explained the lengths she had gone to help fix the situation. If she were a woman of faith, she would have added her man’s sexual performance to her prayer items. She, however, enlisted the help of her best friend to Google remedies. Her man, however, hindered her efforts because he wasn’t willing to accept her help. He claimed it was too embarrassing, and she believed it at the time because of the matter’s sensitivity.
So she stopped complaining when he avoided sleepovers. Their dates now turned into outdoors-only link-ups or among a group of people. When they did have time alone, the man would drink excessively and blackout, so there was really no room for that kind of intimacy. The charade was working until she saw a suspicious text on his phone. She waited for him to sleep, and then she went digging.
They say when you seek, you’ll find, and she found more than she expected. She found threads of messages with this particular girl who kept referring to him as ‘the stallion,’ and from the texts, it was clear that it referenced his performance.
“Did you confront him?” I asked.
“No, not at the time,” said the tequila girl.
“Why not?” I inquired curiously.
“I was in shock. Part of me thought that the girl was lying to him because she really liked him; you know how girls fake it,” she responded.
She crept out of bed and left him in the middle of the night, and went home to think through things. She went on a quest for information over the next couple of days and ignored his calls and texts.
The part of her that hoped that the girl was faking her satisfaction was so angry at him for bringing another woman into the mix. In a way, she felt he was embarrassing her too by letting more people know that her man couldn’t perform. The other part was angry with him for the betrayal. However, a small piece of her in a twisted way hoped that he had sought out another woman as a way to fix his erectile dysfunction.
“What do you mean by having another woman help him?” I asked.
“A part of me thought that I wasn’t attractive enough anymore,” she said with a forced pensive smile.
I wanted to hug her.
“Anyway, long story short, it turns out not only had he been lying about ED but he was out there having the best performance. It was so good that even his friends joked that they didn’t need to be in a competition for women with him because girls were revving about him,” she said as she poured herself another drink.
“Did you ever find out why he lied to you about it?” I asked her.
“Oh yeah, later we talked and he claimed that I was being emotionally needy and I kept talking about our future children that he thought I would trap him with a child.”
It was crystal clear why she needed the two bottles. I joined her on her mission, so we had more tequila as we bashed men and mused over how we couldn’t understand their logic most times.
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