My friends had warned me severally to stop using Tinder after all the bad experiences I had on the app. However, I was as stubborn as a mule and hell-bent on meeting my Mr Right. Just my luck, I matched with a guy who I felt was perfect for me. He was physically attractive and I kind of had a thing for foreign men. This one was a Nigerian. I hadn’t dated one before but I was always curious to know what the hype was all about.
He contacted me almost immediately we matched on Tinder which I thought was a sign he was impressed by what he saw. I later learnt that I was simply a number and that most Nigerians you meet online are there to find a quick hookup.
“Hey, beautiful.” He texted me.
“I’m good. You?”
“I want to see you.”
This was a huge red flag but somehow I never paid attention and brushed it off as excitement. As I said, I didn’t have an experience dating a Nigerian so to me, everything was normal.
“Don’t you want to know me first?”
“I can get to know you on a date.”
He was smooth and he knew how to seduce me. Given that I hadn’t been on a date in a long time, I quickly fell for his flirtatious messages and found myself entranced when I talked to him. It was a great feeling which probably clouded my judgments. Anyway, I was having fun and couldn’t think that things could go south so fast.
“Meet me at 40Forty Lounge. I’ll send you an Uber.”
I agreed sheepishly and started preparing to go on the date. When I got there, he was everything I had hoped he would be. Apart from his physical attractiveness, he was confident and charming. Additionally, he seemed like an affectionate person. He welcomed me with a hug and sat me down next to me. To be honest, he was one of the most presentable people I had met on Tinder. But I still was cautious. After all, he was from Tinder. That’s a big red flag already.
Almost immediately, I noticed he kept staring at me as if he was waiting for me to say something.
“So, when did you come to Kenya?”
“About two years ago.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Do you know any Kiswahili?”
“Yes. Kidogo (a little).” He answered then laughed.
Things were going well. We ordered a sumptuous meal and refreshing cocktails then kicked back and enjoyed the ambience of the club.
The guy kept commenting on my outfit after every few minutes. It seemed he found something new to comment about every time.
“Your eyeshadow matches well with your top.” He said.
“Thank you,” I answered brushing off his overbearing attention.
At one point, I started questioning his sexuality. I met him on Tinder so I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had a few quirks. But my doubts were cleared because he kept flirting with every waitress who passed by our table. When he wasn’t flirting with anything in a skirt, he turned his attention to me and his attitude immediately changed.
“So, are you always this arrogant?” The question caught me by surprise. If someone asked me, I would have sworn he was the arrogant one between the two of us. But he was the one paying for the date so I entertained all his nonsense.
“Arrogant? Me?” I replied playfully.
“Yes, madam. You haven’t said one nice thing about me since we met.”
“Well, I’m getting to know you.”
“What about my appearance?”
I was quiet as I inspected him checking if I had missed something. Did he have piercings? No. Tattoo? No. A crooked nose? Cross eyes? None of the above. So, I didn’t understand why he was making a big deal of his appearance.
“What about it?”
He was getting angry.
“Don’t you see my shirt? This is original Nike. Do you know how much it costs?”
I didn’t reply.
“My whole outfit can pay your whole family’s rent.”
He started getting disrespectful and I had heard about how Nigerian men on Tinder assaulted their dates over small issues. Therefore, I tried to keep calm hoping it would deescalate the situation. But it seemed to aggravate him more. He hit the table with a steak knife and pointed it at me.
“Are you even listening to me? You Kenyan women are so arrogant!!”
“Why are you so angry?”
“Don’t speak to me or I’ll do something very bad to you.” He said still pointing the knife at me.
By this time, the commotion had attracted the attention of other diners around us and they alerted one of the waitresses who then called the manager and security. They came to our table and asked him to leave.
“I’m leaving. In fact, you can pay for the bill.” He said as he stood up.
Once he left, they enquired f I was okay and if I had a way of getting home. I had some money in my Mpesa to call a cab.
“Don’t worry. The bill is on us and if you need transport just let me know.” The manager said.
“Thank you. But I can call a cab.”
“Okay. I’ll get one of the waiters to escort you down just to make sure you’re safe.”
“No problem. You have to be careful with these Nigerians. They’ve been causing problems in many clubs here.”
“Yea. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not meeting anyone on Tinder ever again.”
I went home, poured myself a glass of wine, and sat in the darkness trying to understand the events of that day. I didn’t want to tell my friends what had happened because I knew they’d only make it worse and lecture me about meeting guys on Tinder.
When anyone asked how the date went I simply answered that the guy was not my type. I deleted the app from my phone and went on a man cleanse vowing to stay away from men for the rest of the year. It’s been going well. I’m now more focused on my business and creating meaningful friendships rather than relationships.
More stories in The Singlehood Series:
The Singlehood Series: My Tinder Date In South Africa Turned Out To Be Armed Robbers
He Lied He Had Erectile Dysfunction Just For Her To Find Out He Was A Serial Cheater
I Had Three Crazy Tinder Date Experiences Which Forced Me To Delete The App
I Went On A Date With My Instagram Stalker Without Knowing It
When Her Friend Was Trying To Pimp Her Out To A Nigerian Man
The Guy At The Club Turned Violent When She Rejected His Advances
When His Love Is A Poisoned Arrow But You Keep Running Back To Him