If you have been following through with The Singlehood Series, you may have learnt that when a man asks you out on a date, he doesn’t particularly mean that he is taking you somewhere out of the ordinary. You could land in a kibanda, in a pyramid scheme meeting, or even in church. The best you could do is seek clarification before you waste your “Sunday best” outfit.
Stacy had to learn this the hard way. She met Brian on Twitter. They hit it off after exchanging a couple of memes as they discovered that they had the same sense of humour. Stacy didn’t take him too seriously, as she had previous nasty experiences with men. She vowed to take things slow. This was the first time she had agreed to go on a date with someone in months. She had a feeling that he was a great guy and that he would be the one. But sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between a gut feeling and anxiety.
Brian had been taking his sweet time and Stacy was exhausted from all the texting. She was a quality time kind of person, she wanted to meet him. So when three weeks had passed and he wasn’t forthcoming with his intentions, she was ready to ghost him. But it was like the gods heard her and decided to do something about it.
“Hey Stacy,” Brian said, 10 minutes into their first phone call.
“Yeah?” She responded.
“We should get lunch sometime. Are you free tomorrow?” He asked.
Stacy blushed, knowing how long she had waited to hear that question. Without hesitating, she said yes. She gave him directions to her house, where they had agreed to meet.
Stacy went into her wardrobe and pulled out the dress she had been saving all year. It was a short orange shimmery dress, with thin sleeves and a shoelace design at the back. She picked out her fancy pair of heels and put them out, ready for the next day. For her makeup, she planned on going for a laid-back look with simple eye-shadow and nude lipstick. She also picked out her scent, Miss Dior. Everything would be perfect, or so she thought.
The next morning came and she hadn’t heard from Brian yet. Seeing as she liked to confirm her plans in good time, she called him.
“Are we still meeting?” she asked.
“What do you mean? Of course, we are,” he answered, “I’ll be there at 1 pm.”
Stacy became happy once more. She didn’t eat too much breakfast, she wanted to enjoy her lunch with Brian. She had been craving pasta, so that’s what she would order at the restaurant.
At exactly 1 pm, Brain called and said that he had arrived. Stacy picked up her pretty ruffled minibag, wore her heels, and headed to the gate. She found Brian standing at the gate holding a black bag.
“Wow, did you get me a gift?” she asked.
“No, I brought a few ingredients. I didn’t find good onions, though. I hope you have onions,” he responded, moving into the gate towards the house.
That’s when it hit Stacy that he was getting into the house to make lunch. After all, she had done to prepare for the perfect date. She wanted to ask but she couldn’t find the words. So she politely walked into the house, took off her 6-inch heels, and ushered him into the kitchen. She handed him an apron and they began to cook ugali, meat, and kale.
“Why do you use this flour? It’s not healthy, but we can just use it for now,” Brian said as they started making the ugali.
Stacy could not believe the audacity that this man had. She tried to recall, and indeed he had not mentioned that he would be taking her out to a restaurant. When he left, she carefully took off her makeup in amusement. She had gone from being shocked and disappointed to angry, and now, just amused.
“This city will truly show you things,” she said to herself.
This story is loosely based on a tweet we saw on Twitter.
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