I have never thought of dating a man who is in his 30s. Most of my friends loved dating men in their 30s since they were assumed to be financially stable. Although I always dreamed of having a fancy lifestyle, having someone who spoke to my soul was more important. When it came to being in a relationship, I planned to date a man who would understand all aspects of my life.
Like why I love creating and carefully planning out my social media content or why I like making videos on TikTok for fun. Most guys I interacted with who were in their 30s viewed such things as being childish which is why I could never give them a chance. To most of my friends, it sounded petty, but I didn’t care. At the end of the day, it was my love life and though it looked small it was a big red flag for me.
For this reason, I decided to always stay away from men who were cruising through the third floor. It saved me the struggle of having to reject them and it made it easier for me to stick to men in my age bracket. At first, it was easy to maintain this principle but after I met Eugene my mindset changed.
My budget would never allow me to take an Uber home regularly but on the days that I am running late, it’s always the best option. Most of the time when I would order an Uber there was always a problem. Either the driver would have a hard time getting to my location or the car would have a funny smell. These small problems would normally annoy me to the point that I would remain silent throughout the trip.
One random afternoon though I ordered an Uber and to my surprise, there was no issue. Eugene was my driver and he got to my location with no problems. The minute I entered his car the first thing I could smell was his air freshener. The seats and floor were also very clean, which was a first for me. Our conversation started over a small incident that had occurred during the trip then slowly we ended up talking about other things. By the time I got home, it was one of the most fulfilling conversations I had experienced in a while.
When Eugene left, I had a feeling he would text me either that night or the following day. The funny thing was I didn’t mind. True to my thoughts he called the following day and the day after. We spent hours talking on the phone and as much as I enjoyed talking to him it made me feel weird. Mainly because it wasn’t appropriate since I was in a relationship.
On the third day when he called, I decided to let him know that we could no longer have phone conversations. To my surprise, he accepted and stopped calling. Everything went back to normal until one day when he decided to text me at midnight.
Since I was dealing with insomnia, I decided to have a conversation with him. All seemed to be well until he decided to open up about his intentions. I went ahead to remind him about my relationship and was shocked when he texted back “boyfriends are meant to be challenged,”.
That simple sentence was enough to convince me that this conversation was going to end up causing issues. But since I didn’t know what to say at that moment, I left him on read. A few weeks passed and Eugene never spoke to me which made me feel a sense of relief.
However, my moment of peace was ruined when I ended up ordering an Uber home and he was the only one available. Now my first thought was to cancel and use another cab app but I remembered nobody would be willing to go. It was 11 pm and he wouldn’t have a problem going since we lived in the same area.
When he arrived at my location I entered the cab and immediately put on my earphones. Since he knew where we were going it was easier to avoid conversation. The ride seemed longer and more uncomfortable than any other Uber ride I had experienced. Every time I would look up he would look at me through the mirror. When we finally arrived I sent the money quickly and stepped out of the car.
Most Uber drivers would reverse and leave but he waited for me to open the gate and walk in before leaving. In as much as I was avoiding him that gesture made me happy. I was also glad because I had managed the whole ride and I didn’t have to see him again.
“ Where is your bag?” My sister asked as I walked into the house.
My smile quickly faded “ Agh!” I shrugged as I dialled his number.
“Hello?” He replied.
“Hey, I think I left my bag in your car,” I said quickly.
“Yeah I can see it on the back seat,” He responded.
“Do you think you can bring it back?” I asked.
“You can meet me tomorrow at Java,” He said.
“Okay, what time?” I replied as I rolled my eyes.
“1 pm,” He replied.
“Okay,” I said before hanging up.
I couldn’t believe that one small mistake had put me in a position where I would have to go on a date to fix the mistake. The following day I arrived at Java at noon and took a glass of iced tea as I waited. By 1 pm sharp he had arrived with my bag and handed it to me as he sat down. In an attempt to leave, I asked the waitress to pack my iced tea to go.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” He asked.
“Because I came for my bag and now I have it,” I replied.
“Okay, you’re welcome,” He replied.
“Thank you,” I said as I grabbed my to-go bag and left.
When I got to the stage, I realised there were only a few matatus on the road. There was a strike and so only a few of them were operating.
“I can’t believe this!” I thought to myself as I walked back to Java.
“Are you free to take me home?” I asked.
“Yes, but you have to sit and wait, I haven’t eaten all day,” He replied.
I took a seat across from him and scrolled through my phone. He ordered his food and as he waited, he started a conversation with me. At first, I was only giving short unbothered responses until he asked about my job. Eugene had a lot of audacity but when it came to conversations, he was very intriguing.
An hour later he was done eating and he headed to the car. During the ride, we continued our conversation until we arrived. I knew the trip would cut into my budget but I still had to pay but before I could he stopped me.
“Consider it a free trip, you kept me company. I appreciate that,” He said with a smile before leaving.
When I entered the house I started experiencing mixed feelings. Eugene gave me the vibe of a man in his 20’s even though he was 31. Our meetup was out of the blue which made me wonder if it was fate. My boyfriend was great but we had never had deep conversations. Even though I wasn’t materialistic for the first time I felt like a passenger princess.
In the days that followed, I kept pondering as I reviewed the pros and cons. My boyfriend seemed to have more flaws which made me wonder if our relationship was right. This question lingered in my mind until during our conversations with Eugene he mentioned that he had a son.
I felt like our connection died instantly and I had added a new flaw to my list. I always had a saying that “I didn’t escape teenage pregnancy to become a step mum,” and I liked to live by it.
There and then I stopped talking replying to his texts and accepting his calls. Just as everything started to dial down, he decided to come by my place unannounced. When he realized I wasn’t picking up he proceeded to hoot continuously to get my attention. After the third hoot, I stepped outside but so did the neighbours who stared at me in disgust.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in agitation.
“I want us to talk, get in the car!” He said.
“No, go home. You’re causing issues,” I replied.
“If you don’t talk to me I’ll stay here and hoot the whole night!” He said.
“If you don’t leave, I’ll make sure umelala ndani kijana,” One of my neighbours who was a policeman responded.
Eugene was always confident but for the first time, he looked scared. As I walked back in, I watched him turn and leave. The following day, I became the topic of discussion among my neighbours. People had made up all sorts of stories about Eugene being my sugar daddy. Normally I would care but my main concern was whether he would pull that stunt again.
Now that he knew where I lived, I felt unsafe. However, I decided to stop overthinking and let things go. Also, I knew that in as much as my neighbours were mad at me they also had my back. My first reason for not dating 30-year-old men might seem petty but this one was far from it.
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