Either I am growing old or I cannot simply date young men anymore. Let me say that I am old. I have outgrown men who I can date. Before a woman at the age of 27 would comfortably date a man who is 32 and they would among other things, date for marriage, talk kids and even investments.
The age of social media has the 32-year-olds competing with millennials in the kind of kicks they have on their shoe racks. The kind of gadgets they have upgraded to. They want in on the discussions on who finished a bottle of whisky and took 3 chics home. They are the loudest when it comes to how they stayed at the club till 6 am so they can ‘hepa’ alcoblow.
These men take selfies on the bathroom mirrors and elevators. Hello! Hauna kazi? They check out how many Instagram likes they get as though they work for Instagram. Make a mistake of eating food before they take their Instagram photo, hashtag foodies. They will literally jump on your spoon.
I sat down with a few friends the other day and tried to find out if they experience the same. Ha! It happens everywhere. Single women between 28 – 35 do not want to get close to these fellas. They are now hunting down men over 40, either separated, divorced or single fathers. Women who hated baggage are now welcoming the baggage of a divorcee and the other woman being paid for child support. To them, it is much better compared to these young men who have simply refused to grow up.
I decided to write down a few challenges they have experienced with these grown up babies:
What dates? Forget dates. They do not make an effort to take you out on a date. To them, a date is drinks and fried nyama with 10 of his friends and their girlfriends. Forget that you know some of his friend’s wives’ who are back at home with their firstborns. They will then proceed to make sex jokes and expect you to sit there and enjoy the night.
Remember how we used to enjoy phone calls when you wake up and when you go to bed from the man you love? Ah, these lads will Whatsapp the shit out of every conversation. We all love Whatsapp; it has made life easier for everyone. Lakini hawa, the only people they call is ‘dial a delivery ‘ and ‘dial a drink ‘in their hood. ….and maybe the movie guy.
Forget lovemaking. These lads have no clue. They think sex is like every WhatsApp video they get. So when you jump into bed with them, do not expect much. They go to the pub and discuss how women ‘just lay there like a dead cockroach’ and they laugh about it. What does a girl do when you cannot tell the difference between the clitoris and the labia minora? They are busy fumbling down there, do not want to be directed and they still ask ‘how does it feel’. Dude, it feels like I just wasted a whole naked 7 minutes with you!
They have a responsibility to their social media image. Forget about you. If you want a man to help you fix things around the house, get you the best cut from the butcher, take your car for service, sister, forget. I suggest you start learning how to do those things. Get yourself a good mech who will take the time to teach you about cars. Don’t be a damsel in distress when you are dating these lads. You will be a stressed, bitter damsel. Learn how to fix things around the house; learn to stand on your own because these men will be nowhere to lean on.
That said, if you are dating these lads, drop us a line and share your challenges. If you know men over 40 looking for constructive companionship, drop us a line too. We need to get our sisters out of this bondage.
The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Potentash.com.