The moment I started dating Linda I knew that she would change my life for the better. Unlike the women I was used to dating, she was different. She liked living a simple life and with time my life also became simple. Don’t get me wrong, just because she loved the simple things in life doesn’t mean I didn’t like to spoil her. Most women I dated loved fancy jewellery, cars and clothes as gifts. Linda loved gifts that were in line with her interests like books, paintings etc.
During our early days of dating, I loved going clubbing, but it wasn’t much of her scene. However, she never once complained when I went out with my friends. With time I started partying less and spent more time engaging in fun outdoor activities with her. During her first birthday as a couple, I suggested that we should hold a party to celebrate, and she declined. Instead, she told me she would rather we go for an intimate dinner instead.
Slowly my life became quieter and simpler like hers and I loved it. During our third anniversary, I asked her to marry me on a random day while we were hiking. I have never seen her happier than when I put the ring on her finger. Now as a man, I knew that planning the wedding would take commitment, but I didn’t expect it to be tedious. During the first few months of planning, we talked about everything. She was so excited that sometimes she would even send me wedding inspirations on WhatsApp at random times. I didn’t know that issues would arise before our traditional wedding.
Linda didn’t like the idea of changing clothes, people everywhere, DJs playing loud music and a big crowd. Her idea of the perfect traditional wedding was a small gathering of extended family members and friends. This would make the food even tastier since it would only be for a few people. She also proposed that the ceremony should be done in her parents’ backyard since it was big enough. She had this beautiful decor idea of using fairy lights to light up the place. The same concept applied to the white wedding. She felt that we should have a church service and then a reception with a small crowd.
The families gather at a hotel and sit at round tables. Instead of Ama piano and Afro beats, she wanted slow RnB songs. I didn’t have an issue with anything because I wanted the day to be special for her. The problem was that my mum didn’t seem to think that a simple wedding was ideal.
In her view, since I could afford a big wedding why not go for it? She had invited her friends and even gone to the extent of telling them that I was well off. Linda’s family loved that their daughter wanted an intimate wedding and so did my dad. In an attempt to sort out the conflict of interest, I decided to talk to my mum, but she wouldn’t accept. To make matters worse she swore in front of the rest of the family members that she would not attend a simple wedding. Additionally, she would never accept Linda as her daughter-in-law if we went ahead with the plans for a small wedding.
My mother hated embarrassment and by choosing a simple wedding she felt like her friends would end up gossiping about her. I thought that with time she would see how her decision was affecting me, but my mum stood her ground.
“Babe, we can just do a court wedding,” Linda said to me once she realized how much the issue was affecting my peace of mind. A few days after making that decision my mum ended up calling Linda out of the blue. At first, she thought that maybe my mum had changed her mind but instead, she hurled insults at my fiancé.
Immediately after the call, Linda called her father crying as she explained what had happened. Two hours later her father called my father.
“We have been peaceful throughout the planning process, but we can’t continue like this,” Her father said.
“What has happened now?” My father asked.
“Your wife called my daughter to insult her just because she didn’t want a big wedding. How is that fair?” He said.
“I have talked to my family, and we have decided that we don’t want you as in-laws. My daughter has been through a lot and now she can’t stop crying. No woman should have to go through this, and I dread what will happen to her once she is married to your son,” He added.
Before my father could respond Linda’s father hung up the phone. A few days later I came home from work and Linda was gone. I tried calling her, but she wouldn’t pick up my calls. The weekend that followed my brother, father and I decided to go talk to her family, but they refused.
Her father emphasized that the only time he would allow his daughter to become my wife was when my mum apologised and accepted the wedding plans. Knowing my mother that would never happen. Later that night my father tried to talk to my mother, but she refused. In her view, I had betrayed her by prioritizing what Linda wanted. I spent the night turning and tossing as I thought about Linda.
The pain she must have been going through and how my life would be without her in it. This was the first time I had met a woman who was so amazing and the thought of not being with her was killing me. To make matters worse there was no way of fixing things without hurting one of them.
This story was inspired by a thread shared on Twitter. In the end, he went to social media to ask for guidance with his dilemma. In your view, what do you think he should do?
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