Can you imagine finding out that your boyfriend’s mum hates you? That’s every girl’s nightmare but in many cases, mothers don’t like their son’s girlfriends. I knew my boyfriend’s mum didn’t like me from the day we met. However, she never said it directly to my face and every time I asked my boyfriend about it, he would lie and say she was always hostile to everyone.
I was in love with Ken and I wasn’t going to let his mum ruin a perfect relationship. I know there’s nothing like a perfect relationship but ours was the closest thing to perfect. We just got along well and there were little to no issues in our relationship. I had no reason to think that we would ever break up. In fact, Ken assured me that we would get married after our first date.
The first time I met his mum, she was the complete opposite of what I had imagined. I thought that a great man like Ken would have a kind and sweet mum. However, I always wondered why Ken never talked about his mum. I found out why that day. From the moment she laid eyes on me, she had a permanent grimace on her face and didn’t smile at me even once.
“So, this is her.” She said without even greeting me or welcoming me.
“Yes, mum. This is Kate, my girlfriend.”
“Okay. She’s a little skinny. Are you not eating well?” She asked sarcastically.
“I am. I’ve just been skinny my whole life.”
“I hope you don’t make my son skinny as well. I’ve noticed he has been losing weight.”
“Mum!” Ken interjected which got her off my case.
However, I had already got the message loud and clear. She didn’t like me. I thought it was the usual mum thing and that she would warm up to me after she got to know me better.
I started visiting her almost every weekend with bags of groceries so she could see that I was a good person but it didn’t work. Every time I went over, she suddenly became busy. There was a time she even went to her bedroom and slept. I had to leave after waiting for two hours. That was the last time I visited her.
“Does your mum not like me?” I asked Ken in tears as I went back home.
“What? Why?”
“I just went to visit her and she went to her bedroom. I stayed by myself for two hours before leaving.”
“I’m sorry, babe. She’s always like that.”
Even though I stopped going to her home, I never stopped trying to form a relationship with Ken’s mum. Whenever she called him, I would greet her and talk to her for a bit. I could still tell that she had no interest in getting to know me but I knew we had to get along if I wanted my relationship with Ken to last.
A year later, nothing had changed between us. We simply tolerated each other for the sake of Ken but we had already started butting heads. I was getting frustrated by her hostility and I wasn’t the type to back away from a fight. I was taught to stand up and defend myself and that was exactly what I did. Whenever she tried to antagonize me, I quickly reminded her that she was nearly three times my age and I couldn’t argue with her. It infuriated her but it worked each time.
Things seemed to be going in the right direction and I had a feeling that Ken was going to propose to me soon. However, I made the mistake of telling his mum and she wasn’t happy at all.
“Which proposal? My son has dated girls who are more successful and beautiful than you and he didn’t marry them. Why would he marry you?” She asked.
“Maybe because you chased all of them away but you won’t chase me. I love Ken and we’ll get married whether you like it or not.” I answered.
A few days later, Ken called me and informed me that he wanted to take me on a date to one of our favourite restaurants. I didn’t think much of it since we always went on date nights but he insisted that I should dress up and do my hair.
I did and he came to pick me up around 7 pm.
“You look amazing.” He said.
“So do you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a suit. What’s the occasion?”
“You’ll see.” He answered with a big smile on his face.
As we drove to the restaurant, Ken got a call from his mum. He answered the call while on speaker mode so he would be able.
“Hi, mum.”
“Hello, where are you?”
“I’m driving with Kate.”
“You two are always together. When will you leave that girl?” She asked not knowing she was on speaker.
“You’re on speaker, mum.”
“I don’t care. Let her hear.” She answered rudely.
For once, I saw Ken get angry at his mum’s behaviour. He had probably reached his limits too. The two of them argued for almost thirty minutes until we got to the restaurant. By that time, we were both in such a bad mood that we decided to go home.
Things were tense and even though Ken apologized for how the night went, I knew this would be my reality for the rest of my life if I married him. His mum was the type of woman who thought no one was good enough for her son and did everything in her power to drive all his girlfriends away.
Though I tried to be patient, there was only so much I could take. Additionally, Ken rarely stood up to his mum which was why we were having those kinds of problems in the first place. If he had set clear boundaries with her, she wouldn’t have felt so confident to insult me the way that she did.
Eventually, I decided to end things between us. It was a painful decision but it was the right one for the sake of my well-being.
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