The first mistake that I made was believing that I should visit my boyfriend’s parents after one year of dating. Evans and I had a good relationship to the point that we started talking about our future life after a few months of dating. We would even pick out our future children’s names and dream of where we would live once we were married. During our first anniversary, we both decided it was time I met his parents.
My mother had already met him and since my dad was out of the country it was easier to start with his parents. On the weekend that we had agreed to travel, he decided to go on Friday then I would follow on Saturday. One would wonder why but I didn’t. On the contrary, I thought he planned to go help his relatives set up a party for my arrival.
The following morning, I woke up earlier than usual so that I could get there in time. My parents taught me to always make a good impression. I was also excited to see what Evans had planned for me. During the bus ride, I imagined how the party would be and how his parents would welcome me with open arms.
When I arrived, the compound was empty. The only person I could see was their house manager who was tending to their farm.
“Ah maybe the party is inside, and they are waiting to surprise me,” I thought to myself as I walked up to the door and rang the bell.
Truth be told I was indeed surprised. The house was dirty, especially the kitchen, and his parents were nowhere to be seen.
“Babe you’re finally here,” Evans said as he approached to hug me.
“Where is everybody?” I blurted out as I hugged him back.
“My parents are getting ready,” He responded.
“ Ohh okay,” I said.
Evans showed me the living room and we both sat down. I wasn’t one to ask for food, especially as a guest, but given what time I woke up I had to.
“I’m starving babe, is there something I can snack on as we wait for lunch?” I asked.
“We haven’t had breakfast yet. My bank app is misbehaving. Could you send me some money so I can take care of it?” He said.
I pulled out my phone and sent him 1,000 Kshs. He gave me a peck and left quickly. Thirty minutes later, his parents walked into the living room and were stunned to see me. My first thought was that I had impressed them by how early I had arrived. However, their mood didn’t seem to display that.
I stood up, greeted them and sat back down. Just then, Evans walked in and sat beside me. His parents never asked a single thing about me which was odd. Instead, they sang praises of their son and his achievements. The only thing they said to me was that I should take care of Evans. Seeing that he was their only son and their biggest blessing.
I nodded and decided to brush off their comment. Their house manager walked into the room and informed us that breakfast was ready. We all stood up and went to the dining area. Although I knew it was good table manners to maintain silence while eating, I wasn’t used to it.
My parents often held random discussions during meals. However, in this case, all I could hear were the slurping sounds Evans and his parents were making. Having been together for a year, Evans knew how much I hated that sound. I looked at him to sort of signal him to stop but he barely looked at me, so I let it slide. Once we were done, his parents informed us that they had a church meeting in the afternoon.
Evans and I had agreed that we were to sleep at a hotel nearby and leave the following morning. However, he didn’t seem bothered that we were not going to all spend the afternoon together. Being the guest, I decided it was best not to ask since it would send the wrong message. His parents went back to their room to prepare.
“I thought we were supposed to spend time together?” I asked Evans.
“This meeting is very important, and they both play a huge role in the church,” He replied.
“Okay, so what time will they be back?” I asked.
“Around 2 pm,” He replied.
I was a bit relieved. They didn’t seem to like me, so this meant I still had a chance to impress them.
“Okay, I’ll help your house manager to clean up so she can prepare lunch,” I said.
“About that, I forgot to buy food for lunch, could you send me 2,000 Ksh?” He asked.
“You only bought eggs, bread and milk. What happened to the remaining money?” I asked.
“I have it, but I want to give my parents the balance for transport so the 2,000 Kshs will cater for lunch,” He said.
I shrugged and sent the money to him.
Immediately after they left, Evans also left to go buy food. This time he took a whole 1 hour to get back, but I didn’t care. The housework was so intense that even if he was around, we wouldn’t have spent time together. He placed the foodstuff on the kitchen counter. Their house manager walked in and informed us that she wasn’t feeling well. Evans sympathized with her and told her to go get some rest. He then added that we would take care of lunch.
“So, what are we cooking?” I asked as I looked through the bag he had brought.
The room was silent.
“Evans?” I called out but there was no response.
I turned around to realize that he had gone, and he had left his phone on the counter.
Two hours later, all the food was ready and set on the table. I went to the living room and decided to wait for his parents to come back home. The wait was so long that I ended up taking a nap because of how tired I was. His parents came back home at 5 pm. To make matters worse they walked into the house with Evans, and they were all laughing.
“Hey, did you manage to finish cooking?” Evans asked and I tried my best to contain my anger.
“Yes, all the food is on the table,”
Their house manager also walked in casually and went to warm the food. His parents went straight to the table and waited. This time they decided to have a conversation and I remained silent. All I could think about was how ungrateful everyone was, including Evans.
At 6 pm, everyone seemed tired, and Evans suggested that we leave. We said our goodbyes but before we could leave Evans called me aside to ask for more money. This time he wanted to give the money to his parents as pocket money. I turned around and walked up to his car in silence.
He finished up with his parents and during the car ride to the hotel, he decided to lecture me. In his view, I had disrespected him in front of his parents, and it was uncalled for. I turned to give him a piece of my mind but decided to let things be. That night his parents called to check up on him and didn’t even ask about me.
By the time we got to Nairobi the next day, my thoughts were all over the place. My relationship with Evans was not the issue. We could easily talk about things and work them out. The problem was that given his parents’ treatment towards me, it was clear that they didn’t think I was good enough for their son.
I tried to remain positive but as I analyzed the red flags of that weekend, I realized that I was setting myself up for a hard life. So, I took the road that I knew would break my heart but was necessary for my peace of mind.
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