After a series of bad relationships, I decided to take a break. I wasn’t in the least bit interested in finding out how else I could be disappointed. Anna, my very outgoing friend, was having none of that.
“Come on Sharon, how will you ever find a good relationship if you don’t keep trying?”
“I don’t have it in me to deal with any more drama from men,” I told Anna.
“Okay, but just before you close that door I want you to meet someone. My friend just got back from the UK and I think he’s just your type.”
“And what’s my type?” I asked Anna in curiosity.
“Alpha males and the whole works,” Anna responded as she showed me his photo.
I’ll admit he was quite a looker, so I agreed to join Anna and him for drinks during the weekend. Although I agreed to meet up with them, I wasn’t sold on him being a romantic interest, so I dressed simply. By the time I got to the restaurant, Anna and George, the friend, were already there.
“Sharon, this is George,” Anna introduced us.
“Pleasure to finally meet the famous Sharon,” George said with a killer smile to match his baritone voice.
“This one is cheeky. Should I be worried about what she’s told you? I asked teasingly.
“Nothing that doesn’t flatter the fair lady, I assure you,” George responded.
“Slow down my people. Are you going to make me feel like a third wheel this early on?” Anna said as we all broke into laughter.
The afternoon turned into the night without us realizing it due to the fun we were having. We had heated debates about so many things, from relationships to the differences between Africans and Black people abroad, political systems, and of course, feminism. We were preparing to leave when George went out to pick a call. The waiter brought the bill, and as was our custom with Anna, we were going to split it halfway. George found us deciding who would pay so that the other one could send them their half.
“Ladies, what kind of man would I be if I let you foot the bill?” said George as he grabbed the bill.
We let him pay, but it triggered another debate on the role of a man. George spoke so passionately about how men lost respect when they allowed women to take care of even the seemingly small bills. Both Anna and I had been in relationships and setups where we had paid the bills severally in the presence of men.
“Honey, who have you been hanging around?” George asked.
“But in the current economy expecting a man to pay for everything is unrealistic,” I argued.
“A man should plan ahead if he is to meet up with women, period,” said George.
The chat went on for another twenty minutes without any side conceding defeat. By the time we left the restaurant, we had exchanged numbers.
After about a week of continuous chatting, we decided to meet again. He wanted someone to show him around as he settled back, and I enjoyed his company. Before he could settle down, he was living with his family. One weekend after our escapades, he happened to have a case of food poisoning. He tried natural remedies, but his stomach wasn’t holding anything down. Since I have a sensitive tummy, I have some knowledge of effective over-the-counter drugs, so I recommended a drug. His response caught me by surprise.
“I don’t think I can send my mum to get me that drug because she’ll want to know where I got the recommendation,” said George.
I had so many questions, but I couldn’t find the right way of expressing myself without sounding offensive. So he could see the typing bubble, but I wasn’t sending any message. He sent a follow-up text.
“My mum is a bit possessive of me at the moment since I haven’t been around for a while so I can’t tell her another woman recommended something for my stomach upset.”
I naturally rolled my eyes because I couldn’t understand how a drug recommendation was an issue, but I knew better than asking any questions.
We planned to meet up a couple of days later. I was working during the day, so we had to meet in the evening, so we would presumably have dinner together. As I placed my order, George asked for a light salad.
“On a diet I see,” I remarked jokingly.
“No, I just don’t want to be too full so that I can eat my mother’s food once I get home,” George responded with a straight face.
I tried to change the topic, but he could see that his response bothered me.
However, we always had a good time as long as we were not talking about his mother. So I restricted the conversations to other things. On the other side, Anna kept asking about our progress. I tried not to ask her about the mother’s issue, but something kept coming up with the mother. He had cut short our dates twice because his mother had asked him to run an errand for her.
I finally asked Anna about it.
“Anna, has George always been a mama’s boy?”
“I remember he was pretty close with his mother, but I wouldn’t say he’s a mama’s boy. Why?” Anna asked.
I narrated to her the instances that bothered me. I also admitted that I didn’t know how to bring it up subtly.
A few weeks later, George came over to my place. Like, I said, we always had a good time. As he was leaving, I turned to hug him, and he leapt back unexpectedly. I stood there puzzled for a minute.
“What’s the problem?” I asked him.
“Don’t take this the wrong way but could we please skip the hug? I don’t want to go home with the smell of your perfume. My mother will start asking me questions,” George said.
I obliged, but I knew I couldn’t keep seeing him any longer. I could not reconcile how the alpha male had turned out to be a mama’s boy, but I also knew that I couldn’t compete with his mother.
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