During the pandemic, I struggled so much with my business. I had started a fast-food joint and the first few weeks of January things were going well. The problem started in March when most people worked and studied from home. Having so much time on their hands, it was easier to cook their favourite meals, hence why my customers disappeared. With time the cost of goods went up and it became difficult to operate the business given that my profit was low. So, by the end of April, I had to close my shop and find something else to do.
This was easier said than done. Most companies were doing layoffs therefore applying for jobs didn’t make sense. My parents were very supportive and opted to help me pay rent but slowly it became a challenge since they were also taking care of my siblings. I also felt bad consistently having them sort me out at my big age.
As the months went by, I stumbled upon a writer on Twitter who was looking for interns to help out with his writing account. Being a goody-two-shoes, I felt weird accepting the job since doing assignments for people was wrong. But I pushed those thoughts aside and decided to give the job a chance. I didn’t have Wi-Fi at home so I would either work from my friend’s place or a cybercafé near my home.
During one of my workdays at the cyber, I met Mason. He took an interest in me from the moment he saw me, and I was happy because he was very attractive. Mason was the type of man who went after what he wanted without thinking about the “what ifs”. Maybe it was because he knew he had an effect on people but to be honest I loved that about him.
In the first days of flirting, I didn’t bother to think about his flaws. The energy he gave me was new and exciting. To add to that he offered to teach me the job he was doing so that I could one day run my own business again. Every day we spent together I kept wondering how a man like him was even single. After a couple of months, I finally found out.
Mason had separated from his wife a month before we met and would only see her when visiting his child. Although I knew that dating him would most likely cause issues for me, I didn’t care. Somehow, I ended up convincing myself that maybe we bumped into each other so I could heal him.
Our casual dating turned into a relationship in January 2021. Things went well for a few months until his son’s birthday when he ended up reconciling with his wife. Since he didn’t want me to find out on my own, he decided to tell me.
“So, what happens between us?” I asked trying my best to contain my emotions
“You and I can still be together,” He said as he attempted to hold my hand.
“So you want me to be your mistress? You sleep at home and then only see me during some weekends?” I asked as I moved away from him.
“You are making a big deal out of this. I still care for you and nothing will change between us,” He replied casually.
“Get out!” I yelled.
A few days later, he came back to apologize but didn’t mention anything about his wife or how things would be. As much as his decision hurt me, I couldn’t let go of him. My feelings for him had grown and letting go would destroy me. So, I let go of the story and we continued with our relationship.
True to his word, nothing much changed between us. Our dates remained constant, and he would still give me his undivided attention. Unfortunately, my happiness was short-lived when his wife became pregnant. Mason became unreachable for most of every day. Sometimes we would plan a date then he would have to cancel because his wife had a checkup.
A few weeks passed by and as much as I wanted to give up on him I couldn’t. Not because of his effect on me but because I was in the same boat as his wife. I knew that it would be hard for him to digest given that he was also expecting another child. However, this was my first baby and I also deserved to be happy. I picked up my phone to call him, and after two rings he hung up and sent me a text.
“Can I call you later?”
I sent him an “Okay” and decided to wait. Mason never called me back so I called again the following day, but he was in a meeting. Every day after was filled with different excuses until I gave up. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I ended up getting a miscarriage which affected me deeply.
Knowing I couldn’t call Mason or tell anyone else about it made me feel even worse so I cut off communication with people for months. Towards the end of the year, Mason showed up at my place to apologise for everything. It seemed odd at first but the moment he got on his knees to beg for forgiveness I didn’t think much into it. Overwhelmed with emotions we ended up having a quiet dinner and one too many drinks.
The following morning, he was gone and just like that, we were back to his cycle of giving me excuses every time I would call. And like before, just as I was about to let him go I ended up getting pregnant again. This time I decided to let him know and in as much as he was supportive it wasn’t the same treatment; he gave his wife. Throughout my pregnancy, the most he did was send money for checkups and whatever else I needed.
A small part of me still believed that he would come around and be there for me despite all that had happened. This hope was killed during one of my checkups when I saw a couple walking in for a checkup together. The woman seemed so happy, and her man looked at her with so much admiration. At that moment I thought of how happy Mason’s wife was during her checkups and realized how that would never be me.
That realization made it easier for me to let go of Mason and with time he also stopped reaching out to me. Being a single mother has been tough, but I decided to take the experience as a lesson that I needed to learn the hard way.
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