In best case scenario, you introduce your friends to your love interest, and everyone likes everyone. Better scenario if for some reason they don’t like each other, they tell you. The problem is most people would not openly tell you that they don’t like your partner. Word on the street is too often the messenger ends up getting shot, and so people choose not to risk catching a stray. Still, even if no one outright says it, if you’re looking, there will be signs. It’s important to be able to recognize these signs because of the possibility that your friends may be seeing something you’re not seeing. Something of consequence. Here are some potential signs your friends don’t like your boyfriend and what you can do about it.
Signs your friends don’t like your boyfriend
They avoid talking about him
There’s an episode of Abbott Elementary where one friend, let’s call her Janine, finds out that her friend, Jacob has a secret boyfriend. She’s justifiably upset because they’re friends, so why would Jacob hide that? Then Jacob says he didn’t want to talk about his boyfriend with Janine because that would mean talking about Janine’s boyfriend too, and he just didn’t want to risk being honest about how he really felt about her boyfriend.
If your friends just don’t talk about your boyfriend, tactfully change the subject, or go weirdly silent when you bring him up, it may be because they don’t want to lie to you, and talking about him means risking telling you how they really feel.
They’d rather do anything else
If you notice your friends go out of their way to avoid hanging out with your boyfriend, they may not like him. It may look like your friends insisting you keep it a girls-only hangout when you suggest bringing him along. You may also feel excluded when you bring him along to other hangouts.
You caught a look
You know your friends and can decode those micro-expressions, so you could have seen it in their faces and other non-verbal cues.
They don’t consider it serious
If you view your relationship as serious but your friends don’t, it’s possible they don’t like him. Some friends may even go as far as to playfully or seriously try to set you up with other people.
They tell you outright
Certain brave souls will just sit you down and tell you they don’t like your partner, and maybe even tell you why. Keep these friends close.
What to do if your friends don’t like your boyfriend?
Get to the root of why
Ask your friends to tell you why they feel that way and truly listen. The reason behind their antagonism toward him influences how you proceed. If it’s something you think is valid and serious, you’ll proceed very differently compared to if they just had a bad first impression.
Don’t force hangouts
If their reasons for disliking your partner are not valid according to you, then limit their interactions with each other. Resist the impulse to force them to hang out in the hopes that they’ll come to like each other. Sometimes people just don’t like each other.
Keep things civil
As difficult as it may be to balance a boyfriend and friend group that doesn’t get along, try and keep the peace, especially if there’s no malicious intent on your friends’ part. People are often afraid of being honest about these things because they don’t want to risk losing friendships. Don’t prove them right. You should also be careful about cutting off your long-time female friendships over a new boyfriend.
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