I’ve never seen the need to lie and have always thought that liars are the worst types of people. They think that they’re smarter than everyone else in the room and that nobody will be able to catch onto their lies. Whenever I feel like someone is lying to me, the first thing I do is call them out and then cut them out of my life. I’ve been lucky to have decent people around me and I’ve never experienced extreme liars but my luck ran out when I started dating Jeremy.
I met him when I was at a desperate point in my life. I was feeling lonely and dealing with a lot in my personal life. As a result, I desperately wanted a relationship to make me feel loved. So, when Jeremy came into my life, it was like an angel had been sent from heaven.
I was so happy to finally have someone I could call my own that I ignored many red flags. One of them was that Jeremy would lie about everything. He would lie about what he did for a living, having social media accounts and other things that didn’t even matter to me. The more time we spent together, the more his lies fell apart and I started to see him for who he was.
The lies started from the first week of our relationship till the very end. During the first week of our relationship, he asked if I smoked weed, which I didn’t.
“I don’t smoke either.” He said. “But I want to try some day. Do you know someone who sells weed?”
“Yeah. My friend does. I tell her to bring some over one day.”
He kept asking about the weed thing but it never happened. One day, he went to a party and came back to my place looking high. After I probed him about it, he finally confessed.
“I got high today.” He said happily.
“What? Who got you high?”
“A random girl at the party. She also tried to kiss me but I didn’t kiss her back.”
I was a bit upset about it but I didn’t think too much into it since nothing had happened. Additionally, all of Jeremy’s friends were girls which also didn’t bother me. He was even friends with some of his tinder matches.
There was one girl in particular who was pretty close with Jeremy. They met on Tinder but Jeremy wasn’t attracted to her. She mostly wanted a job so Jeremy organized a job for her where she worked. However, she tried to get with him even when Jeremy and I started dating.
Then, she got a job where one of my friends worked and I found out the truth about her relationship with Jeremy.
“Paula works here now and she’s told me so much about your boyfriend.” My friend said.
“What did she say?” I asked.
“She said she got your boyfriend high for the first time.”
Jeremy claimed that it was a random girl who got him high but it turned out to be the girl he met on Tinder. I wondered why Jeremy would lie about something so trivial. At that time, we had been dating for only a month so it wouldn’t have been a big deal if he told me that he went to a party with another girl who got him high.
I confronted him about it and he admitted that he lied to me.
“She didn’t try to kiss me or ask me to go to her place,” he said.
“Why would you lie about that?”
“I felt like you were out of my league and I wanted to show you that I had other options too.”
At that point, I was confused about what the lie was. Did his friend try to kiss him and he was lying about it or did she not? However, he insisted that he had no interest in her, which made me feel more comfortable.
A few months later, I planned a trip to India with him. I paid for everything including first class tickets. When we were about to board the plane, he got a text from someone saved by their initial. I found it strange since everyone else was saved by their full name.
“Who is that?” I asked.
He hesitated but after asking again, he said, “Paula.”
“Why is she saved as an initial?”
He didn’t answer so I asked to see his phone. I had never gone through anyone’s phone before but he made me doubt my own sanity that I needed to know I wasn’t suspicious over nothing.
Sure enough, he had been communicating with her a lot. He even told her when we broke up the first time and claimed that I was jealous and insecure of other girls.
After reading the messages, I wanted to cut him out of my life immediately but we were headed to India and that wasn’t possible.
“I promise I’ll never talk to her again.” He assured me.
The only problem was I didn’t want him to stop talking to her. All I ever asked was for him to not lie to me about it. Still, he sent a long message to Paula telling her that he didn’t want to be friends with her anymore.
A part of me wanted to believe that Jeremy was done with the lies but since I was used to the lies, I had my doubts. We had a decent time in India then went back home.
When we came back, he messaged Paula even though he had promised not to do it behind my back. At that point, I was done with the relationship and we broke up. I started feeling good for the first time in a long time and even got into another relationship.
However, Jeremy kept coming back and asking to reconcile. He persisted until I gave in. He organized a romantic date where we could meet and catch up. Just as I expected, the date didn’t happen. He messaged me the day we were supposed to meet and told me that something had come up.
Though I was disappointed, I still gave him another chance. We hung out a few times after and had a great time. During one of our dates, he admitted to me that he lied to people that we were just friends. Ironically, it was a relief for me since I wasn’t the only one he lied to.
I found out that the lie was deeper than what he had told me. He would tell his friends and family that we had broken up but remained friends because he was worried that I would kill myself if he left me.
That was the last straw since I had shared so much with him about my mental health and he was using it against me. Before ending things, I had to confirm whether he had told anyone the things that I had told him about my mental health. So I asked him about it.
“Have you ever told anyone about my mental health struggles?”
“Of course not.” He answered.
Obviously, I didn’t believe him so I asked to see his phone and typed my name on the messages app. There were so many messages with my name on it but I only needed to see one. I opened a random one and saw so many lies about me. However, I was used to it. What got me was that he had copied and pasted some of my most vulnerable messages to him and sent them to his friends.
I couldn’t forgive that and will never forgive that. I gave him back his phone and asked him to leave. He tried to talk about it but I insisted that he should leave and we never spoke to each other again.
Looking back on that relationship, it’s hard to find any positive moments. Everything seemed like a lie, even the good times we had.
This story is based on Gabbie Hanna Archive’s YouTube video.
https://youtu.be/UgRMRsXGj8E?si=1J01cI7HtKns9tUd
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