Before I met my husband, I was for the streets. I never even imagined that one day, I would be someone’s wife, let alone a housewife. At some point, I was involved with three men at the same time and they all knew about each other. That was the moment I started to reflect on my life. As much as I was a wild girl, that was a bit extreme for me. So, I decided to tone it down. I barely went out for a whole month until one early Friday morning, I heard a knock on my door.
It was one of my friends accompanied by a good-looking stranger. He introduced us and then invited me to a cookout he was hosting later that afternoon.
“I’ll let you know,” I answered and the two gentlemen walked away.
After thinking about it, I decided to go. So, I wore a cute, short-sun dress and called my friend for confirmation.
“Come to my place.” He said.
I went hoping to find the handsome guy but he wasn’t there. It’s like my friend could tell that I was looking for him because he asked him to come over. After a few minutes, the handsome guy joined us and we got to know each other. He wasn’t much of a talker. In fact, I ended up bonding with other people at the cookout more than I did with him but despite this, the guy didn’t leave me alone for the whole night. I can’t explain how but I ended up waking up at his place.
Fast forward, I found out I was pregnant a month later. It was almost like a miracle since I had quit my promiscuous ways so I knew without a doubt that the baby belonged to the handsome guy. We hadn’t really had much of a relationship given that I met him a month ago but we decided to keep the baby and make it work.
The months went by very fast and honestly, I enjoyed being pregnant. The handsome guy treated me like a queen and provided for everything I wanted. I was essentially a housewife which I didn’t mind since I was pregnant.
We shared the news of my pregnancy with our families and they suggested that we should tie the knot before the baby arrived.
“It will be easier to do it now than when you have a child.” My mum advised.
I took her advice and we did a small traditional marriage at my family home. By that time I was 8 months pregnant and eagerly waiting for my baby to arrive. We went for a babymoon and a month later welcomed a healthy baby boy. It was the best experience of my life. I recovered surprisingly fast from childbirth and within a month, I was out and about.
My mother and I took turns watching the baby as I looked for employment. Though my husband was earning a good salary, I wanted to stay busy since I wasn’t used to life as a housewife. I knew my husband wouldn’t entertain the idea of me being away from the baby so I had to sneak around his back. I got a job then I decided to let him know.
“Babe, I’ll be starting work next week,” I said.
“What do you mean?” he was clearly confused.
“I got a job.”
“A job? The baby is two months old and you want to leave him.”
“I can’t stay in the house anymore.”
“I think I made it clear that you would be a housewife. If you want to stay busy, start a hobby but you’re not going to work.”
I thought he was joking since I already got the job and there was no way that I would turn it down. However, on the morning that I was to report to work, he locked me in the house and went with the key. There was no way for me to leave or even for my mother to come in. I lost the job since I failed to report to work or explain why I didn’t show up. I put a pause on looking for work until my baby was a year old hoping that my husband would be more comfortable with me working once the baby had grown.
However, he wasn’t a fan of the idea.
“In my culture, women breastfeed the baby until they’re two years old. That’s how we grow big and strong.” He explained.
I was getting cabin fever from being a housewife and was afraid that I would develop depression. However, my husband didn’t want to hear any of it. Apart from forcing me to be a housewife, he stopped taking me out saying that I needed to be with my baby at all times. I also became alienated from my friends since I didn’t show up to any of their events. Despite all of this, my husband didn’t care.
“You’re somebody’s wife now so start behaving like it.” he’d say.
I didn’t leave the house for months and it got to a point where I contemplated ending my life. I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life living like a prisoner in the name of being a housewife. There was nothing much my family could do either since my husband had convinced them that he was taking care of me.
I lived as a housewife for three years until my baby started attending daycare. It was through my interaction with other mums at the daycare that I met a woman who helped women leave bad marriages. She gave me the number of a lawyer who put my case together and I was able to leave my husband and get full custody of my child. After leaving that marriage, I felt like I could breathe for the first time. I haven’t been in a relationship for five years and I don’t think I’ll ever consider marriage. One bad marriage was enough to convince me that marriage or being a housewife was not for me.
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