I can put up with many things when I’m interested in someone. However, I can’t put up with someone friendzoning me. I think it’s a waste of time and as soon as I feel like I’m being friendzoned, I lose all interest. Before pursuing a girl, I have to confirm whether they’re interested in a relationship. You’ll be surprised how many girls show up to dates for the free food.
I thought my method was foolproof since it worked every time. Before the date ended, I’d asked the girl if she was looking for a boyfriend. It’s an unexpected question that caught most of them off guard so they were more likely going to tell the truth and most of them said that they’re not. However, I met a girl who was able to fool me.
Sandra was exceptionally beautiful which might have been the reason I didn’t see the red flags right away. She didn’t look like she would have any trouble finding love yet, there she was at a relationship seminar. It was like I had seen an angel and for a moment, I believed in love. However, I didn’t talk to her throughout the seminar. In fact, I didn’t even think she knew I was there until we finally went on a date.
After the conference, there was an exercise that gave me the opportunity to get her number.
“We have come to the end of the seminar but before you leave, I want you to look around and write down the chair number of anyone you might be interested in and didn’t get a chance to talk to. We will give you their number if you convince us that you deserve it.”
After this announcement, I wrote down Sandra’s chair number so fast and then made my way to the desk where I was supposed to get her number.
“She’s a popular one.” The lady commented.
“Really? I like competition.”
They didn’t ask me to convince them to give me her number. The lady simply handed it to me and said, “Well, good luck.”
I felt confident that I would stand out from the crowd of men who were interested in her. A few days after the seminar, I called her to ask her out.
“Hi, Sandra.”
“Hi. Who’s this?”
“It’s the man of your dreams.”
I thought she would laugh but there was an awkward silence.
“I saw you at the seminar but we didn’t talk. Can I take you out on a date?”
“Oh… the seminar.” She finally laughed. “Sure, I’d love to go on a date.”
“Great. How about this weekend?”
“That’s okay with me.”
I had been on countless dates over the past few months but for some reason, I felt nervous about meeting Sandra. There was something intimidating about her and it wasn’t her beauty. Maybe it was her confidence.
We finally met for lunch at a cafe and quickly hit it off. She seemed just as excited to meet me which calmed my nerves. She was also talkative which was different from what I thought.
“I like your shirt.” She said.
“Thanks. I got it for my birthday.”
“So, tell me about yourself. Why are you single?”
“My last girlfriend cheated on me and I found out that she was pregnant with another man.”
“Wow, that’s traumatizing.”
“I know. What about you?”
“Same thing, but I found out he was married yet we were planning on getting married.”
We bonded over our traumatic relationship experiences and encouraged each other. The date was so fun and refreshing that I let my guard down. There was no doubt in my mind that Sandra and I were on the same page so I didn’t think that I should ask whether she was looking for a boyfriend. Besides, she was in a match-making seminar so I didn’t doubt her intentions.
We went on several other dates which were all great. Since we seemed to be on the same page, I decided to take her on a road trip to Maasai Mara where I would ask her to be my girlfriend officially.
“My birthday is coming up soon,” I told Sandra. “I was thinking of going to Maasai Mara to celebrate.”
“That sounds good.”
“Do you mind accompanying me?”
“I’d love to.”
Sandra was more than happy to join me on the trip which made me believe that she was interested in me.
Everything was going well until we got to the hotel. When we checked in, she realized that we were sharing a room.
“Where are you going to sleep?” She asked.
“In the bed.”
“What about me?”
“You can sleep in the bed too but if you’re not comfortable you can book your own room.”
Her attitude changed instantly. The sweet, soft-spoken girl turned into an angry woman.
“You didn’t tell me about this.”
“Did you think I was going to pay for another room for you?”
“At least you should have booked a room with two beds.” She complained.
“That’s an extra cost. Anyway, we’ve been going on dates for the past two months and I thought you were interested in taking things to the next level.”
“What next level?”
“A relationship.”
She laughed hysterically for what seemed like ten minutes then finally told me the truth.
“I’m not interested in you. I never was. I was just bored.”
“What about everything we talked about on the dates? I opened up to you like I had never done before.”
“That’s not my problem. I need you to get me another room or organize a way for me to go back.”
At that point, I was still hopeful that if I showed her how nice I was, she would change her mind. So, I paid for another room and we stayed at the resort for three days.
Sandra didn’t warm up to me. In fact, she spent most of the time with other people at the hotel than with me. I finally accepted that she wasn’t interested in me and she wasn’t going to change her mind no matter what I did.
The drive home was really quiet. I don’t think we said more than 10 words to each other. Before alighting, Sandra turned to me and looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen.
“Will we go on other dates?” She asked.
I was confused since she had been cold towards me the entire trip. Even though I wanted to keep seeing her, I knew that she wasn’t interested in a relationship with me and that I would end up heartbroken. I cut things off that day and never saw or spoke to her again.
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