John met Priscilla at work. He had just been transferred to that branch of the company. Although they worked in different departments, they worked on the same floor. Priscilla had a serious demeanour but was also resourceful. She was the go-to person in the office if you needed assistance at work. John found himself needing help. Priscilla guided him through it, and they would say hi to each other around the office whenever they met.
John was drawn to her, so he asked some colleagues about her once he settled into the job. He got good feedback. She had never dated anyone from the office. She also hardly went out with her co-workers because she had a child. John looked a bit bummed out when he had about the child because he assumed she was married, which would explain why she hadn’t dated anyone in the office.
Priscilla, on the other hand, had also noticed John. She told one of her workmates that she’d never felt a man smell so good like John. They had laughed at the comment. Priscilla wasn’t one to compliment men in the office. She also dismissed the idea of anything happening between them because she couldn’t imagine why John would be single.
Fate had other plans for them. They had to spend time together at a company retreat. The team-building activities created an avenue for them to talk. They each enjoyed the conversation. Later in the evening, Priscilla excused herself to make a phone call. John happened to overhear some of it. Priscilla sounded a bit concerned.
“Everything okay?” John asked.
“Yes, just ensuring my daughter is fine. I have a new nanny,” Priscilla responded.
“Hubby not around?” John asked.
“I’m not married,” replied Priscilla.
“Oh, I’m sorry I assumed you were,” said John.
He was suddenly in a better mood. After the day they’d had, he was certain he would pursue her. Their romance journey began. John liked that she had a life figured out. She would manage her work schedule, get home in time for her child’s homework, attend school events, and had a beautiful apartment. John loved that she was independent but also nurturing and didn’t sound bitter towards men. He gained more respect for her when he found out she had raised her child independently since birth.
Priscilla felt safe with John. He was easy to talk to and didn’t make her single motherhood an issue. She insisted they see where the relationship was headed before introducing him to her daughter. They dated for six months before John met her daughter.
Everything was going well until John started noticing a few changes. When they began dating, Priscilla handled her bills, and he only did things for her as a show of endearment, not as a responsibility. She hardly asked for anything from him. He would send her money and casually say, “That’s for your hair or Wi-Fi.” John did that without fail for three consecutive months, and when he didn’t the next month, Priscilla asked about it.
“Babe, you haven’t sent me Wi-Fi money,” she said.
“Sorry?” John asked, unsure of what she was talking about.
“The money you send me each month. I need to renew the subscription.”
It turned out that the period John sent her money coincided with the Wi-Fi payment schedule. Priscilla thought he did it intentionally. John felt disappointed in her entitlement, but he hadn’t done something for her in a while, so he sent the money. That started the strain in their relationship.
Once John and her daughter became close, Priscilla slowly started expecting him to take up more financial responsibilities. They would be out, and the daughter liked something at a shop, and the situation would end up with John buying the item. John didn’t voice it because he was a person who swept things under the carpet, but it was piling up.
During one of Priscilla’s chama meetings, one of the ladies suggested owning a cereals store was very lucrative. She did some research and agreed with the opinion. Priscilla spoke to John about the idea. John thought it was a good financial move. They talked about it over the next couple of weeks. When Priscilla started scouting for store locations and where to source the grains, it became clear that she expected John to fund it.
“Is this my business or yours?”John asked her.
“Ours,” she responded.
“So why do you expect me to fully fund it?”
“Babe, you’re the man and you know I have school fees and other bills as a parent,” she responded.
“I understand you have extra bills but that doesn’t mean I don’t have responsibilities either,” John explained.
That was how they abandoned the idea. Priscilla was angry at him for a while. She shared the incident with her friend, who insisted the man in her life should make it easier. “There should be a difference between when you were single and when you’re partnered,” said the friend. It emboldened Priscilla, and expected him to take care of more responsibilities. Sometimes, she would go without an item because John hadn’t bought it, and they would fight.
Eventually, John opted out of the relationship. Later, while talking to his friend, the friend asked him if they had spoken about expectations in their relationship. John and Priscilla hadn’t expressed their expectations and ended up resenting each other.
Here are more stories.
He Claimed She Was Too Independent
She Complained When He Didn’t Buy Things In Twos
I Loved Him But I Didn’t Trust The Influence Of His Close Circle
The Singlehood Series: She Expected Him To Treat Her The Way His Friends Treated Their Girlfriends
The Singlehood Series: He Seemed Like The Ideal Man Until He Showed Up To My House Empty Handed
She Asked Me To Pay Her Rent And Child’s School Fees On The First Date
He Insisted On Knowing My Financial Background On The First Date
Being An Understanding Fiancé Enabled His Disrespect
He Started A Business For Her But She Left Him For A Client
We Had Started Our Traditional Marriage Process When His Betrayal Ruined Everything
He Left Me When I Was Sick And Then Made It About Himself