When one gets into a relationship, one hopes it will all work out. However, sometimes it never gets to the point of its fullness. Life may happen along the way and lead to the end of the relationship. One reason that may lead to the premature ending of a relationship is the realization that your lover is using you.
Sometimes, one may realize this very late after investing a lot of time, energy and sometimes money on the person. Well, there is no need to go through that process of regret when one can spot red flags early and act appropriately. Here are some of the red flags to watch for.
1. A partner uses you when all the good moments are tied to a benefit.
The light moments that come naturally between people who love each other happen differently in this case. For a man, the lady will be all jolly and smile when the man sends her money or any other favour. Something that is lacking every other day. For the lady, the man will only light up when going after the goodies. The joy and light moments are only attached to a benefit rather than the simple fact of being together.
2. Your Girlfriend or boyfriend is using you when communication is not open.
In a genuine relationship, there is open communication that aims to ensure that the present and future are clear. Open communication involves speaking the truth in the way of love. Open communication also provides that partners solve what they can amicably solve, catering to every individual’s needs. There won’t be open communication processes when your significant other is using you. A lie here and there and your partner shuts you down sometimes. Other times, it is being very uptight on self-closure so that one does not know who they are dating.
3. Your significant other is using you when you are a secret.
When it comes to relationships, there is the aspect of privacy. Privacy is okay and is where your affairs, fights, good times, and sometimes progress remains only known to the two of you, but friends and family know about the relationship. Then, there is an instance where your significant other is keeping you a secret. In this case, no one knows about your being together.
Well, it is not a must for people to get to know about your relationship because some people are very private about who they are dating or sleeping with. But there is a way that your partner treats you, showing that they would not allow you ever to be seen together. For instance, visiting them can only happen at night, and leaving is very early in the morning before people in that estate are up.
4. Prone to cancelling plans
Most of the time, you two make plans, but you rarely see the plans materializing. Your significant other either forgets or cancels because an emergency comes up. When you make plans, you are never sure what will come to fruition.
5. Words contradict actions
What they do does not align with what they say. On one hand, they say they care about you, but on the other hand, their actions speak otherwise. When you assess your relationship, you realize that your significant other has more talk than actual actions. Their efforts fail to align with the claims they make of loving you.
6. They rarely pay attention
When you are together, they seem all busy or yearning for your moment together to end. Always on their phone browsing or making calls and replying to texts now and then. They are passing the time with you to fulfil the illusion that you are together.
7. Everything is about them.
Here, you leave everything that makes you tick and follow whatever they want. The relationship, therefore, has nothing good for you.
The focus has become whatever the partner deems good enough to invest in. It could be even the simplest of things such as hobbies, where you do not go swimming simply because only you like it. They will make you go for something they like but you do not go for anything that only makes you happy.
8. Ignores you when they do not need you
The conversations and good times you two have only happen when they are free or bored and need some company. Otherwise, when everything is good in their lives, they ignore you with the popular cliché, “I am busy”.
9. They are not acknowledging your feelings.
When you have feelings that call for deep conversations, they start to hide and seek game. They do not want to be invested in you, so they purposefully ignore your feelings. After all, they are just passing the time; getting invested would only mean doing too much where they can get by with the bare minimum.
10. Ignores you in front of people
Apart from keeping you a secret from friends and family, they also ensure that people do not see the two of you together as it might raise eyebrows. As far as the heavens and earth are concerned, the only people who see you two are strangers. If you two accidentally meet someone who knows them, they will introduce you as friends.
11. Can quickly ditch you for others
This sign, right here, is the litmus paper of knowing if you are a priority in their life. You are sure they can ditch you for other things or people without thinking twice. In your heart, you can never rely on them for anything because you are never the priority.
12. They always seem checked out
When your significant other always seem to have little interest in your day-to-day life, be sure that all is not well. They rarely ask about your well-being, or how you are faring. They do not even know what is happening in your life.
Not everyone gets into a relationship with the good intentions of creating a life with you. Others are there for something else that’s not genuine. They will not let you know about their intentions. This is because if you get to know about their aim, you will end the relationship. You can know this by spotting the red flags and making a reasonable decision if what you are looking for is a long-term commitment. If you are not then these red flags might not bother you because maybe you also don’t want anything serious.
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