Love bombing is a manipulative behaviour whereby one partner consistently showers the other with attention, flattery, and compliments early in a relationship. This attention can come in the form of gifts, social media interaction, frequent calls, and declarations of love. Now you might be wondering why this is an issue. Love bombing may seem incredible at first, but it can end up causing trauma in the long run. In most cases, the love bomber ends up withdrawing their affection once they feel fulfilled by your attention. Thereby leaving you emotionally damaged.
Signs Of Love Bombing
Love bombing often resembles genuine affection, making it challenging to know whether your partner is manipulating you. Here are a few ways you can identify a love bomber.
Intense Declaration of Love
Love bombers often repeat statements that they know you would love to hear, like “you’re my soulmate,” “nobody gets me as you do,” or “I love you.” These statements may seem flattering, but they are a huge red flag, especially when you are in the beginning stage of a relationship. Falling in love takes time, so you should be on high alert if your partner loves you after one or two weeks of dating.
Lavish You with Gifts
Love bombing usually involves grand gestures like getting you constant gifts. Today it could be expensive jewellery/watch; tomorrow, it’s an expensive vacation with no option of declining. These gestures may seem harmless, but they are manipulative to make you think you owe them.
They Want Your Undivided Attention
In healthy relationships, both partners should be able to focus on their own lives without having their world centred around each other. In a relationship where one person is a love bomber, the lack of attention causes issues. You will often notice your partner pouting or agitated when you make plans with your friends. They also get upset when you don’t pick up their call after the first ring.
Pressure to Make You Commit
The idea of committing to someone is exciting, especially if it is someone you like and you are both ready. However, you might be dealing with a love bomber if you feel pressured to commit and are not ready. They often use this tactic to test that you won’t leave.
Open Up Quickly
When dealing with a love bomber, you will realize that by the second date, you know almost everything about them: their childhood trauma, medical history, family history, and past relationships.
A love bomber will make you feel like you are always reassuring them. No number of compliments seems to satisfy them, and they keep coming back for more, leaving you feeling angry and resentful.
At first, the relationship seems impressive, but with time things change significantly if you set a boundary or have an argument. They will either disappear for a while, or you will notice a change in how they talk or behave around you.
Reasons People Love Bomb
The Desire for A Close Relationship
People who have spent time alone or are hopeless romantics may use love bombing to keep you close with the hope of experiencing love. They may also use this tactic to avoid losing you to someone else as the relationship develops.
In most cases, love bombing is usually done by narcissists or people with borderline personality disorder. Narcissists are fond of manipulative tactics and often intend to control you. If your partner is a narcissist, they could be love-bombing you to have a hold on you.
How to Deal with Love Bombing
Take time and sit down with your partner and express your discomfort with the attention they are giving you. Be honest about how you want your relationship to move forward, then discuss the boundaries you are comfortable with. If you realize that these boundaries are not being respected, then it might be time to evaluate if the relationship is worth it. How To Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries And Benefits
Be Keen on Narcissistic Behavior
Take note of your partner’s behaviour. Someone with a narcissistic personality disorder will often exhibit a lack of empathy and a constant need for attention. Narcissism: 9 Traits Of A Narcissist
Focus On What a Healthy Relationship Should Be
Healthy relationships often involve compassion, respect, empathy, and active listening. These are values that people who love bomb have a hard time doing. Creating a checklist can help you understand whether your relationship is healthy or toxic.
Take Note of Red Flags
It is not easy to identify a love bomber during the first stages of a relationship, especially if you are not used to being showered with love and attention. This makes it easier for you to miss out on the red flags. However, it is essential to know that if something seems too good to be true, you should investigate to find out if all is well. Focusing on the reality of a relationship and looking at the bigger picture is essential. Take note of every red flag you notice to know if the issue can be addressed or if it is time to let go. It will also help you to avoid dealing with a person who exhibits the same signs in the future.
Relationships: Dating Red Flags You Should Look Out For
Make an Appointment with A Therapist
Dealing with a love bomber might leave you feeling overwhelmed with emotions. Reaching out for support is essential and can help you sort through your feelings. If you find it hard to let go of your partner, your therapist can guide you to make the best decision. Love bombing often leads to long-term effects, and it is essential to remember that it is not your fault. It is also important to remember that it is not your job to save the love bomber. The best way to help is to encourage them to go for therapy and focus on your well-being.
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