One day while I was scrolling through Twitter, I came across a tweet by some girl about relationships. She was trying to urge people to have difficult conversations about what they want with their partners. She finished the post by saying, “Healthy relationships are formed when people respect each other’s boundaries.” I thought, “Wow, she is so extra like it is never that serious.” I came to realize through experience that she was right. Boundaries are what help people to avoid stepping on each other’s toes.
Boundaries in relationships refer to the standard we want people to treat us. There are different types of boundaries Physical Boundaries, Behavioral Boundaries, Emotional Boundaries, Financial Boundaries, Sexual Boundaries, and Religious Boundaries. Identifying each of these boundaries will help you understand which ones are relevant to your relationship.
How To Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries
Identifying your boundaries
The only way you can set boundaries that will maintain your peace of mind is first to identify what you are boundaries are. You can do this by first tuning into your emotions. Look back at times you felt someone had crossed a line with you, how it made you feel and why you felt that way. You can also know your boundaries by asking the people closest to you.
Communicating honestly about your boundaries
Once you have identified your boundaries, it is essential to communicate openly with your partner. Take the time to discuss what you are comfortable and not comfortable with. This will ensure that you and your partner come to an understanding of your expectations.
Listening to your partner’s boundaries
Healthy boundaries are formed when you and your partner agree on each other’s boundaries. This helps both of you to set the appropriate boundaries for the relationship. Listening and discussing your partner’s boundaries also shows that you respect and love each other.
Maintaining respect when communicating about boundaries
Discussing boundaries can sometimes stir up disagreements. Your partner may not fully understand your boundaries and vice versa. It is essential to maintain respect when talking to each other to reach an understanding.
Following through on what you say
The best way to ensure that your boundaries are respected is only to make exceptions when necessary. Constantly making exceptions will make your partner think they can cross your boundaries with no worries. This could potentially end up disrupting the balance of your relationship.
Taking responsibility whenever you cross your partner’s boundary
Whenever you realize that you have crossed your partner’s boundary, you should accept and apologise. You would want your partner to do the same if the situation was reversed.
Benefits of setting relationship boundaries
Establishing boundaries helps you and your partner to maintain a healthy balance in a relationship. Communicating and agreeing on what you are comfortable and uncomfortable with ensures respect and love. Healthy boundaries also help you as an individual to:
- Maintain your peace of mind
- Build high self-esteem
- Understand who you are, what you like, and your values.
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