Healthy relationships have become such a rarity to the point that people are amazed by happy couples that have stayed together for a long time.
Toxic relationships resulting in fatalities and other regrettable situations are the norm. A friend once had to build from the ground up all over again, because his girlfriend suspected he was cheating and she broke everything, tore stuff into pieces and set some on fire. Only to find out after the damage has been done, that the lady was a close family friend she never knew of.
Her insecurities and lack of trust for her partner prompted her to seek revenge that cost this guy a lifetime’s hard work. Such situations are some of the reasons why we should look out for green flags in relationships.
For most young people, Netflix and Chill seem to be working pretty fine. But for a young couple that’s probably had their first child, a healthy relationship is getting on nappy duties. Rendering help to your partner by taking turns with the kids and other house chores helps strengthens their relationships.
The context of healthy relationships varies according to age, sexual orientation and arguably the social status of the persons involved. While people are quick to notice the red flags because they are quite obvious, it’s essential to appreciate the green flags that are often overlooked.
Here are some green flags to look out for;
- Respecting personal space
Understanding that as much you are together, the two of you are leading your individual lives, with personal dreams and goals you hope to achieve will help cultivate respect for each other’s personal space.
This could look like allowing your partner their personal spiritual time, respecting the boundaries they set on their careers and not interfering with their plans.
It includes waiting for them to finish watching a boring documentary that could be essential to their personal projects.
- Validating each other’s feelings
The great mental status of your partner could have a positive impact on you too. Therefore, it is important to be wary of how you speak to your partner when they express their emotions to you.
Affirming them, getting them a thoughtful gift to cheer them up and reassurance are quite sure ways of validating their emotions. Listen, reassure, affirm and grant them grace at their lowest points.
Feeling seen, heard and respected is a motivating factor for most people.
A healthy relationship can be measured by the reciprocation of energy between partners.
It is important for partners to try and match the efforts of their partners. This can be achieved by understanding your partner’s love language and making the most of it.
Covering your fiancé when they fall asleep while you are watching a movie, or exchanging the 5 AM wake-up baby routines are beautiful ways of showing love.
We all have different viewpoints based on our cultures, beliefs and our perception of life. As such, it is expected that people will fight, argue or disagree on most things.
As a couple, it’s important to understand that you are arguing in order to find the best solution and not decide who is wrong or right.
Using respectful language, not speaking over your partner and acknowledging their views are some of the most visible green flags.
- Power balance
Talking of power immediately brings up questions of hierarchy. Most people have been raised in households that have one person at the top, whose word is final without consideration of other people’s feelings.
A power balance isn’t tied to the financial muscle of the family, it also includes allowing your partner to explain why taking route A to get to B is the best option.
Consulting, involving and incorporating the views and opinions of your partner is a major green flag.
- Unconditional support
It’s quite evident that most relationships come to a sudden end, when one partner is selective of when to be available emotionally, financially and physically.
Most couples have found themselves in compromising situations, most commonly, unintended pregnancies.
A relationship green flag, in this situation, is when the male partner is Pro-her choice. By this I mean, that he is willing to support whatever choice the lady makes pertaining to the pregnancy after they’ve talked about it, unlike the common scenarios of either deadbeat dads or men shaming their partners for terminating a pregnancy.
Being honest, truthful and loyal in whatever it is you do in the absence and presence of your partner is another green flag.
Owning up to mistakes, apologizing, and showing progress in an area that caused a rift between you and your partner are surefire green flags.
- Mutual respect
A relationship can barely survive if couples don’t share a common value, respect.
Respecting your partner’s feelings, opinions and choices strengthens relationships and builds confidence in your partner.
This shared value can be expressed in the way couples handle each other both in moments of joy and sadness.
It is evident in how you converse during an argument and handle the tough situations life throws at you.
The success of a relationship is heavily reliant on the communication level practised by the people involved.
Communication green flags include; addressing each other with respect, knowing when to correct your partner in the case, they did something wrong, listening keenly, responding with details to any unclear situations and allowing everyone the opportunity to speak without interjection.
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You must be willing to compromise more often than not, to ensure that you and your partner are comfortable in the relationship.
For example, not complaining about your partner keeping a huge chunk of the duvet all to themselves. That’s not the point though, the point is, to weave a way around your partner’s flaws and learn to live with them.
- Acknowledging help and support
Appreciate it when your partner offers help even with the little things, like it said, it matters.
Be grateful for their support and acknowledge the effort they put in to ease your tension or workload.
What are some of the relationship green flags you always look out for?
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