If you’re an avid social media user, you may have come across this quote, “Until you date a generous man (I didn’t say rich), you’ll understand that men love to provide for their women. They don’t wait to be asked, they genuinely do it!” Some may argue that every man is generous. It just takes the right woman to bring out his generous side. Let’s be real. This is not true. There are selfish men out there and it’s every woman’s dream to never come across one.
Dating a selfish lover can be a nightmare. They can make you feel invisible and unloved and in the long run, such a relationship can affect your self-esteem. However, you should be able to see some warning signs that can save you from a horrible experience. Here are some warning signs to know whether you’re dating a selfish lover.
He Answers On Your Behalf
It’s natural for a guy to take the lead and order for you at a restaurant or answer some questions on your behalf. It’s cute at first because it feels like he knows you so well or that he’s trying to impress you. However, it gets annoying if it happens all the time. A selfish lover always wants to be the centre of attention and he can’t let anyone else have it – even his partner.
He’s Only Nice When He Wants Sex
If you’re dating a selfish lover then you’re well aware that he can be a jerk. You’ll also notice something else – he becomes a sweetheart when he wants sex. This is one of the rare moments when you can see a sweeter, more caring side of him. Don’t be fooled, though. He’s only putting up an act to get what he wants. It’s manipulative behaviour that you should look out for.
He Has Many Rules
There’s nothing wrong with having rules in a relationship. Rules ensure both parties are on the same page. However, when they aren’t applied equally, they can put pressure on one person. A selfish lover normally sets rules that put high expectations on their partner. For them, it’s not about having harmony in a relationship but living up to their standards. This can make the other partner feel like a failure which reduces the chance of having a real connection.
He Lacks Empathy
A selfish lover will display narcissistic behaviour such as a lack of empathy. According to psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish, “Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, validating, understood, or accepted because they don’t grasp the concept of feelings,” In a relationship, we count on our partner to be a shoulder to lean on when times are hard. Therefore, if your partner doesn’t care whether you had a bad day or are going through some issues, it’s time to move on. 9 Traits Of A Narcissist
The Relationship Progresses When He’s Ready
Relationships are 50/50 which means that both partners have a say on the cause it takes. For instance, if you’re planning on moving in together, both of you should be ready. If he doesn’t inquire or is involved in the decision-making or consider your thoughts, this is a sign you’re dating a selfish lover. He assumes that you’re all in with whatever he wants so he makes all the decisions.
He Never Surprises You
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is getting cute surprises from your partner. However, a selfish partner never goes out of his way to surprise you with gifts or a date. Since they don’t have an emotional connection with you, surprising you seems like a lot of work for him. If he ever does anything nice, there’s always a motive behind it such as buying your forgiveness or trying to seduce you.
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