I was having a bad streak in my dating life. After recently breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I wasn’t as confident as I used to be in the love department. Nonetheless, I decided to put myself out there hoping to at least go on a fun date. So far, things were not going well.
The first date I went on was with a long-time friend. Apparently, he had heard that I was single and wanted to take me out. To say the date was a disaster is an understatement. He barely spoke to me and when I tried to engage him, I’d get one-word answers. I now understand why they say you shouldn’t date your friend.
My second date was with a random guy I met at the mall. He approached me and we exchanged numbers. We met up later in the week and went on a coffee date. He was a better conversationalist but he was too persistent about going home with me. I left him at the restaurant without any explanation.
Since my dates were going horribly, I decided to turn to the one place I knew I would meet a perfect match – tinder. I hadn’t used the app in over two years but I had success in the past so I was feeling hopeful.
“Things have changed on that app.” My friend warned.
“I’m not looking for a serious relationship. I just want to go on a date.” I answered.
“Well, don’t let them know you’re not looking for a relationship.”
“Of course, I won’t.”
It had been one week since I reactivated my tinder account, added some new photos, and revamped my bio. I noticed a lot of changes that made it easy to find a good match. It was fun and I found a lot of potential dates. After narrowing it down, I settled for a guy I thought was exactly my type. At least, his profile said he was.
He loved pets, travel, and music. He was a lawyer and to top it all off, he was over 30 years old. What could go wrong? I thought he was mature enough and responsible enough and we had a lot in common. Even though we wouldn’t end up in a serious relationship, I knew the date would go well.
He messaged me first.
“Hi, Anne. Your beauty is very captivating.”
“I’m happy we matched.”
We chatted for the rest of the day and got to know each other better. I was now certain that I had made a good choice and couldn’t wait to meet him in person.
We agreed to meet the coming weekend for dinner and drinks.
I wanted to make sure I looked my best so I went shopping for a dinner dress. The dress cost me almost Ksh 10,000 but it looked good so I looked the other way and bought it. Besides, it hugged me in all the right places so it was worth the money.
I felt good and I looked good. I thought nothing could spoil my date. We agreed to meet up at a hotel in Westlands at 7 pm. I was there on time but my date was nowhere in sight. I sat at a table near the balcony and ordered a glass of wine as I waited for him. An hour later, I saw a tall, well-built walk into the restaurant and come to my table.
“Wow, I thought you were more light-skinned.”
The comment took me by surprise.
“My ex has the same dress. I don’t like it.” He continued as he sat down.
“Well, nice to meet you.”
He proceeded to put his car keys and phone on the table and then called on the waitress.
“Bring me my usual.” He said.
The waitress looked confused but didn’t question the guy. He noticed that she didn’t understand what he meant.
“My usual!” He repeated in a more commanding voice.
Still confused, she asked, “What’s that, sir?”
“A Moscow Mule!”
“She must be new here.” He said to no one in particular as the lady left.
“So, how was your day?” I asked since we had barely spoken to each other the whole day. I thought it would give us more to talk about but the guy was cold as ice.
He started scrolling through his phone and acted like I didn’t exist. I drank my wine quietly questioning why I always ended up on bad dates. Even when his drink came, he didn’t look at me. Instead, he gave the waitress a deathly glance and then continued scrolling on his phone.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and as I stood I saw that he was on Tinder swiping left and right. I wasn’t surprised. So far, the date had been a disaster and I expected it from him. However, it hurt my feelings. I had invested my time and bought an overpriced dress that he didn’t like only for him to treat me like I didn’t matter. He didn’t even care how I felt.
I stood over his shoulder for a couple of minutes and he didn’t notice. Finally, I decided to leave him since he didn’t value my time. I picked up my bag and left without saying goodbye. It took him 30 minutes to notice I was gone.
“Why did you leave?” He asked over the phone.
“You didn’t seem interested in the date.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I saw you scrolling on Tinder.”
He didn’t say a word nor did he apologize. He just asked to reschedule the date because he “wasn’t himself”. I wasn’t interested and blocked his number shortly after. I also deleted my tinder profile and swore never to go back. My friend was right. Things had changed from bad to worse but I didn’t expect that they were that bad. However, I took it as a lesson learned and chose to take a break from dating.
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