Being single in your 30s is either the best or the worst. For me, it’s the worst. I thought that I would have been married with three kids by now. Instead, I have been single for about two years and I have zero kids. However, I have the best group of friends and I’m happy with that. During this period, my friend, Lydia, has been one of the most helpful people in my life. After watching me go on multiple dates without any luck, she had to step in and set me up with yet another tinder date.
“The problem is that you keep going for the same guys.” She said. “You have to explore. Date a doctor, an engineer, a university student.”
“Student? Girl, I don’t have to babysit kids. I need a man. My ovaries aren’t getting any younger.”
“Don’t worry about that. There are enough people in the world anyway.”
I laughed with her but I didn’t find it funny at all. Lydia had made it clear that she didn’t want children and she was living her best life as the rich auntie. I, on the other hand, really wanted one and hadn’t given up hope yet. However, she made a valid point. I needed to date different guys. So, I started saying yes to any and everyone.
Let’s just say, this strategy didn’t work for me either. The guys I met were either married and wanted a side chick or were single but wanted something casual.
“How do you do it, Lydia? I don’t think I can go on any more dates. These men are disgusting.”
I never thought that I’d ever be that woman but I could feel myself slowly becoming the woman who yelled “men are trash” whenever she had a bad experience with one. However, I shook it off and decided to give it one last try. This time, I chose to follow Lydia’s lead. She seemed to be doing things right since I hardly saw her over the weekend and she always had a huge smile whenever we met.
“I have a date tonight, actually. There’s this really hot guy I met on Tinder.”
“Tinder? I thought you were going out with that lawyer.” I said visibly surprised.
“Yes but he’s out of the country and I need to have a little fun. Let me tell this tinder guy I’m bringing a friend.”
I had promised myself that I would follow Lydia’s guide without any objection even if it meant following her to her tinder date. A few minutes later, she jumped up in the excitement and started waving her phone in my face.
“My guy said he has a roommate and he’ll come with him. It looks like you won’t be third wheeling.”
Honestly, I would have preferred not to go on the date but I was already in too deep. We both got dressed up and headed to the restaurant to meet our dates.
Sure enough, the guy showed up with his friend and after introductions, we both sat next to each other.
“Wow, you’re more beautiful than I thought.” He started.
I barely said anything to him and kept glancing at Lydia trying to signal that I was ready to leave. However, she was too busy with her date to notice.
“So, where do you work?” I asked trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
“I’m a businessman but that’s not important. I just love how your dress fits you.”
It was clear that he wasn’t interested in anything but hooking up with me. On the other side of the table, Lydia and her date couldn’t keep their hands off each other. We hadn’t even been there for more than 30 minutes but they were already making out.
I had to drag her away so I could talk to her. We went to the washroom where I could confront her in private.
“What’s all this?” I asked.
“What?” She asked drunkenly.
“Are you drunk? You had one cocktail.”
“Sam gave me a pill.” She said then chuckled.
“What pill? Who are these people? Do you even know them?”
“Yeah. Sam is my good friend and Ian is his roommate.”
“Why does a 35-year-old man have a roommate?”
“They’re not Kenyans.” She answered sternly. “You’re so judgy. Maybe you should go.”
“I’m definitely going. This wasn’t what I was expecting from you.”
“That’s why you’re alone. You’re such a party pooper.”
“I’d rather be alone than be with any of those guys.”
I made my exit discreetly to avoid any problems and went straight to my apartment to drink wine and binge-watch my favourite Netflix show, Love Is Blind.
A few days later, a friend of mine called me to ask what had happened with Lydia.
“Have you spoken to Lydia?” She asked.
“No, we went on a date last Saturday but I haven’t seen or heard from her since then.”
I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. Even though we had a fight, it was unlike Lydia to ignore my calls and texts. I knew something was wrong.
We agreed to meet up with my other friend and go to look for her everywhere we could think of. However, we weren’t successful and I went back to my apartment.
Later that evening, I got a call from a foreign number. When I picked up, I had Lydia’s voice on the other line.
“Babe, where are you?” I asked worriedly.
“I’m in Seychelles. Sam flew me here.” She said then called me on a video call to show me the view. “You could have been here too. Look for Ian. He might still be interested.” She hang up before I could say anything.
I was so confused. How was Lydia so lucky and I was so unlucky? Maybe she was right. I was too judgy. If it wasn’t for my know-it-all attitude, I would have been in Seychelles with her. I wouldn’t even have been single at 33. I would have been married with kids but such is life.
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