Why does Valentine’s Day mean so much to so many people? It’s almost more important than a birthday or an anniversary. For some, they’d prefer their significant other to forget their birthday but not Valentine’s Day. On the other hand, many often describe Valentine’s Day as a waste of time. I enjoy celebrating the day but I wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t celebrate it.
I got back into the dating scene and went on a few good dates. However, I didn’t really feel a spark with any of my dates. Being in my late 20s, I felt like I was ready to settle down and have a serious relationship. I made a promise to myself that I would not date anyone that I’m not completely infatuated with and the person that I dated would be the one that I marry.
It was a lot of pressure to put on myself but it was about time I put more effort into my love life. I knew that dating with such standards wouldn’t be easy but I didn’t think it would be as hard as it was. It used to be much easier when I was younger but it was probably because I didn’t have many expectations.
“How are things going with your dates?”My best friend, Mercy, asked.
“No luck,” I answered.
“It’s been months. How have you not found someone that you like?”
“Maybe I’m too critical. Should I lower my standards?”
“No, dear. It’s not too much to expect your partner to sweep you off your feet. As I told you, you’ll know when you meet him.” she encouraged me.
“Thanks, Mercy. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
After many bad dates, Carl came into my life like an answered prayer. He was exactly my type. In fact, we got along so well that we scheduled another date the following day.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he said over the phone.
“Me too. You make life worth celebrating again.”
“Can we meet tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes. I can pick you up after work and we can have dinner then I’ll take you home.”
We met as planned, went for dinner, had a great conversation and he dropped me at my place. Those evening dates became the norm for the next few weeks as we got to know each other more. The more I found out about him, the more I admired him. There was nothing I didn’t like about him. He checked all my boxes and by the third month, I was sure he was the one for me.
We clocked our 6-month anniversary around February the following year. It wasn’t that big of a deal but since it was during the month of love, I was in the mood to celebrate with my partner.
“We’ve just clocked our 6-month anniversary, babe,” I said to him as we relaxed on the couch.
“Oh no, I thought you said you didn’t care about those things,” he replied.
“I don’t but Valentine’s Day is coming up. We can use the day to celebrate our relationship.”
“I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.”
His remarks caught me off-guard. I knew there were people who weren’t big fans of the holiday, especially men, but I never met someone who refused to celebrate it.
“Why? What’s wrong with celebrating Valentine’s Day?”
“It’s not about love. It’s about showing off. I don’t want my relationship to be a show-off.”
“What if I want to celebrate it?”
“You can go out with your friends. There’s a Galentine’s Day, right?”
“You’d rather I go out with my single friends than celebrate Valentine’s Day with me?” I asked.
“Yes, babe. It’s not a big deal. We’ll celebrate our anniversary another time.”
I was a bit disappointed but I got over it quickly and planned a Galentine’s date with Mercy. She already had plans with her husband but she was kind enough to cancel them so I wouldn’t spend Valentine’s Day alone.
“Ben and I can go on a date any other time. I can’t let you spend such a special day alone.”
“You always come through for me. I don’t know what I’ll do to repay you.” I replied, nearly in tears.
“Seeing you happy is enough payment.”
When Valentine’s Day came, I met Mercy at one of our favourite restaurants. There were several couples at the place as I had expected but I didn’t expect it would bother me so much.
“I’m sure most of these men were against celebrating Valentine’s Day but they do it because it makes their wives or girlfriends happy,” I said to Mercy as I sipped my wine.
“Sure. Even Ben wasn’t a big fan of Valentine’s but he started celebrating it.”
“So, what does this mean?”
“Celebrating Valentine’s Day is the least you can do as a couple. If he doesn’t want to celebrate it with you then it will be a difficult relationship.”
“You know I’m not a fan of struggle love. I don’t think this relationship can last very long.”
“Well, you shouldn’t break up with him just because he doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.”
“It’s not just Valentine’s Day. He doesn’t celebrate anything – anniversaries, birthdays, graduations. If I choose to stay with him, I won’t experience what these couples are experiencing.”
After that date, I went home to think about my future with Carl. I may have convinced myself that celebrating Valentine’s Day wasn’t a big deal but I’m just a girl and I want to feel special every now and then. Such occasions are a good way to make a woman feel special. If my man doesn’t celebrate them, when will he ever make me feel special?
I finally came to terms with the fact that Carl wasn’t the one for me. It was a difficult pill to swallow but the sooner I accepted it, the better. We broke up a few days after Valentine’s Day. He didn’t seem bothered by the break up which only made me question our relationship more. I don’t think he was as invested in the relationship as I was. I’m just happy I realized that soon enough before I fell in love with him.
Check out
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