I’ve always had low expectations for Valentine’s Day to avoid disappointment. Most of the time I was single so I had nothing to worry about but the few times I was in a relationship I didn’t expect my partner to do anything for me for Valentine’s Day. The one time my partner and I made plans, he cancelled them.
I was 23 when I met Allan. He was 37 and the first guy I dated in my adult life. I had stayed single throughout university because I never met anyone who piqued my interest.
Most guys my age were insufferable which made my dating life hard. We had nothing in common and they tended to gravitate to the girls who wanted long Brazilian wigs and iPhones. I, on the other hand, bored them with my fantasies of becoming a business mogul.
However, the only people I spent most of my time around were in my age group. I also didn’t go out or even enjoy spending time outdoors so I barely made any new friends. It was only when I graduated that I started to meet like-minded people.
I still kept some of my university friends and they are the ones who helped me meet Allan. He was a manager at a restaurant where one of my best friends worked. I went there often to visit her and enjoy the occasional free slice of cake.
“I’ve noticed you’re a frequent visitor. Do you like the place?” Allan asked after coming over to my table.
“Yes, I love the food. It’s very fresh.”
“I’m glad you do. What about the service and the ambience?”
“The service is excellent. I especially like that waitress called Ruth. She’s very friendly and fast.”
“Great. I’ve heard good reviews about her too.”
“The ambience could use some improvement. It looks old and tired. You need something more modern.”
He laughed and said, “Wow, you’re very blunt.”
“Yes, I don’t mince my words.”
“I’ll take note and see what we can do.”
“I can help. I’m an interior designer.”
“You don’t say. I’ll let you know what we decide.”
I gave him my number before he went to check on the other customers. After an hour, I was ready to leave. I called Ruth to pay for my bill but she informed me that Allan had already paid.
“He kept asking about you even before he came to talk to you. I think he likes you.” she said.
“Really? What should I do?”
“Text him and say thanks for paying the bill.”
“Okay. Wish me luck.” I said with a smile as I picked up my bag and left.
I didn’t text him because I talked myself out of it. However, I went back to the restaurant later that week. I saw him as I walked in but didn’t say a word to him. He came to my table as soon as I sat down.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked.
“Why?”
“I thought you would call or text me.”
“Oh, sorry for being silent. I had an emergency.”
“What happened?”
“One of my vendors cancelled my order so I had to source another one urgently.”
“Did you manage to find another one?”
“Of course I did.” I said.
“I have something to tell you. Can we go out for dinner today?”
“Okay.”
I thought he was going to tell me that he wanted an interior designer for the restaurant. Instead, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
“I won’t lie. I’m infatuated by you. I couldn’t believe that you and Ruth are the same age and former classmates. You’re so different. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
I didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended. It was my first time on a date and my first time getting compliments from a man.
However, everything came naturally. I found myself laughing at his silly jokes and enjoying his stories about the “good ol’ university days”.
“This is my first time on a date.” I blurted out then held my mouth shut as if it had revealed my top secret.
He was silent and looked at me for a while before asking, “How come?”
“I never met anyone I was interested in.”
“So, are you interested in me?”
“We’ll see.”
We went on dates frequently until I was sure that I was interested in being in a relationship with Allan. He made so many promises to me. He promised that he would do everything and anything to make me happy. I believed him because I didn’t see a reason for him to lie. Now I know those were just empty promises to butter me up.
After a month, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. Coincidentally, Valentine’s Day was just around the corner. I didn’t expect anything big since we had just started dating but I expected Allan to make time so we could spend the day together. I cancelled all my meetings with clients so I could spend the day with him.
However, I didn’t see any signs that he was planning anything. I waited for several days before giving him a hint.
“What are we doing for Valentine’s?” I asked as we cuddled on the couch one lazy Sunday.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve cancelled all my plans for the day. I’m all yours. What do you want to do?”
“I think an ice cream date would be nice.”
“Sure. I haven’t had ice cream in a while.”
I chose a simple date that didn’t need a lot of planning since I knew Allan was busy with the restaurant due to the upcoming holiday. However, he promised me that he would take me out regardless of how busy he was.
A few hours to our date, he cancelled our plans.
“I can’t make it. I got held up at work. I’ll make it up to you.” he wrote.
I was disappointed but I understood him. Later in the evening, Ruth called me in a panic.
“I have something to tell you.”
I knew something was wrong because she didn’t sound happy.
“What’s up?”
“Allan was on a date with another woman. I couldn’t tell you earlier because he would have known it was me who let the cat out of the bag.”
I went numb after hearing that Allan was on a date with another woman. What made me feel worse was that I didn’t even think he was the type to cheat. I simply accepted his excuse when he cancelled our plans.
When I confronted him, he made excuses claiming that the lady was a client who wanted to host a private event at the restaurant. However, Ruth insisted that they looked too friendly and I chose to believe my friend.
I ended up single after dating for just a month. The experience made me stop glorifying older men because they can be childish as well.
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