I started seeing Valentine’s Day posts as early as the first week of January. People were posting how their men – some have been married for years – had asked them to be their Valentine. Aww, how sweet. It’s indeed a sweet gesture but when you’re single, it’s nauseating. I found myself feeling bitter from the other side of the screen. Who cares? I thought to myself every time I scrolled through those posts.
After rolling my eyes at all the happy couples on social media, I put my phone down and thought about my own love life. It hit me that I didn’t have a Valentine’s date. I was as single as a Pringle which was probably the reason I felt so irritated seeing happy couples.
I had expected that I would be in a relationship by the beginning of the year and I would be planning my Valentine’s Day outfit by now. There had been a few guys who I was talking to but none of them progressed from the talking stage.
I started to wonder if I was doing something wrong or if love was simply not in my cards this year. However, my luck turned around at the last minute.
My friend introduced me to one of his friends. I’m not going to lie and say that he was the man of my dreams or even a man that I was excited to meet. I didn’t feel any physical attraction towards him when I saw him but I told myself that he would grow on me.
“Did you meet Max?” my friend who had arranged the blind date asked.
“Yes,” I answered plainly.
“And?” He asked excitedly.
“He seems nice.”
“He’s very nice and generous too. I know you like to be spoiled. I promise you’ll like him.”
“We’ll see.”
Max asked me on a second date. I tried to keep an open mind but by the end of the night, I had even lower hopes. However, he was trying his best so I kept telling myself that I would miraculously become attracted to him.
“Goodnight angel,” he said after escorting me to my house which, in hindsight, was a big mistake.
“Goodnight,” I said with a forced smile and as I looked up, I saw his face a few inches from mine.
I moved back and closed the door without saying anything then stood against the door waiting to hear if he was leaving. He left almost immediately and I breathed a sigh of relief.
After that date, I was sure that I didn’t want to see Max again. He was looking for a relationship and I couldn’t see myself being with him. However, that voice in my head insisted that he would grow on me. So, I decided to give it one last try. The reality was I simply didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day.
Though I wasn’t attracted to him, Max proved that he had genuine intentions and he treated me with respect. We could be good friends if nothing more.
I continued talking to him and he occasionally brought up the idea of us dating.
“You know I’ve been single for the whole of last year and I was ready to be single the whole of this year but after meeting you, I think my luck is about to change,” he said over the phone.
“That’s nice. I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship right now, though.”
“Take your time, dear. I can wait for as long as you want.”
Okay. What have you planned for Valentine’s Day?” I asked.
“Now that I’ve met you I’ll do something special.”
“Nice. I want to go to a high-end restaurant.”
“Anything you want. Actually, why don’t you send me some of the restaurants we can go to.”
Those words were like music to my ears. I started compiling the list as soon as we hung up. I even added a list of florists where he could get those expensive bouquets that people post on social media.
We finalized the arrangements and our Valentine’s Day plans were set but I still felt unsatisfied. I also felt guilty because I knew I was using Max for a date. I thought about telling him how I felt but it would only make things more complicated. Max was already developing feelings for me and he seemed like he could snap if I rejected him.
After making sure that we were going to spend Valentine’s Day together, I made up an excuse to disappear for the next two weeks.
“I want to visit my grandmother,” I said over the phone.
“No problem. How long will you be gone?”
“Probably two weeks. She needs my help around the house.”
“That’s so long. So I won’t see you till you come back?”
“Yes, but it will be the perfect reunion since it will be on Valentine’s Day.”
I didn’t even leave the city. I went to stay at a friend’s place who was also going through a tough time after breaking up with her boyfriend.
Max was none the wiser. We talked occasionally to ensure that he hadn’t changed his mind about our Valentine’s Day plans.
While I was excited that I wouldn’t be spending the day alone, I wondered how I would end things with Max after the date and if he would figure out that I used him for a date.
The days drew closer and I started having second thoughts. I thought about cancelling the date. After all, it wasn’t that big of a deal to be alone on Valentine’s Day. However, it was too late to turn back. Max had already made reservations and I would feel guilty if I didn’t show up.
We went to one of my favourite restaurants but I wasn’t even the slightest bit excited about it. I couldn’t stand Max’s company. He was so boring that I would rather sit in silence than listen to him.
I think he noticed that I wasn’t enjoying myself and offered to take me home.
“Do you want to go home?” He asked politely.
“Yes, I’m not feeling well.” I lied.
He knew I was lying but he didn’t push me. By the time he was settling the bill, I was already walking out of the restaurant. He found me waiting by the car.
The drive was silent and once I got home, I quickly said, “Bye.”
He later called me to tell me that he didn’t think we were compatible and that we should date other people. I was so relieved since I didn’t have to end things with him. I cringe whenever I get flashbacks from that date.
Accepting a Valentine’s Day from someone who I wasn’t attracted to wasn’t worth it. I knew that I wouldn’t enjoy myself and I ended up being more miserable than if I had stayed alone. I will never make that mistake again.
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