Isn’t it funny that we assume after a good experience, we’ll have many more or, at the very least, one more? But, the way life works, we experience something for the final time without knowing it is the end of an era. Perhaps, if we were privy to this information, we would hold on a little tighter, a little longer. Linda sat there packing her suitcases, ready to move out of a house she had called home for many years, wondering when the rain started beating them. It had been so long since she had shared a happy moment in her marriage with David that she couldn’t remember which was their last good day.
Things began changing when they got their firstborn. Children change people in some unexpected ways. Or maybe reveal aspects of them that were previously unknown. Linda’s body changed, and it took her a while to return to feeling like a sexual being. However, when she did, David was elsewhere.
After overcoming the insecurities of the body changes that came with childbirth, Linda became this assertive person in the bedroom. She cared about her pleasure and became adventurous. David didn’t share in her curiosity. His wife had suddenly become a stranger to him.
He was a good father. Many times, when she felt sexually neglected, she reminded herself that she picked the right father for her kids. That was more important than her desires, she repeated to herself.
Initially, it wasn’t a matter of quantity but quality. They had help around the house, so they had time to themselves. If you’d ask David, he was doing much better than his married colleagues. Linda, on the other hand, felt there was room for improvement.
She took matters into her own hands. She got lingerie and a few extras like handcuffs. Linda felt something she had never felt as she dressed up in time for David’s arrival home. The kid was away, and she set up the house for an intimate moment with her husband. What was supposed to be a night of bonding turned into a night of fighting.
“What is all this Linda?” David asked her.
“What do you mean what is this? I’m trying to have an intimate moment with you,” Linda responded.
“Why have you changed so much?” David asked.
“People evolve.”
“Are you saying I haven’t evolved? You are the mother of my child and my wife, you need to act in a certain way.”
“I have attended to my duties as a mother diligently. This is also part of my wifely duties but I’m also doing it for myself. It makes me happy,” Linda responded.
“You were happy before without all these new ideas. Who have you been hanging out with?” David asked.
“I was happy then, now I want more. When I had no desire for physical intimacy after childbirth, you complained. Now you’re complaining about me spicing things up, what’s right in your eyes?” Linda asked.
“I remained faithful to you during all that time. I just want the Linda I knew back.”
Their relationship became complicated. Linda recoiled and tried to settle for what had worked for them before. David stopped complaining, but Linda resented him for it. The effects spread to other parts of their life. Linda let David make decisions about their life. Some worked out well, while others failed. David sensed the distance between them but ‘enjoyed’ the fruits of Linda’s subservience.
We all know that when things are bottled up, they eventually implode. After a long period of trying to suppress her desires, Linda had an awakening. Her close friend died, and the realization that life is fickle hit her hard. Her unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life became an area of focus for her. She enjoyed motherhood and had one more child, but that was all she enjoyed in her life.
Changing her career was an uphill task, but she supplemented it with other interests. Her marriage was the other problematic area. David had gotten comfortable getting his way, and she harboured resentment. Her need for more passionate intimacy grew as she regained control of her life. She hoped David would be more cooperative this time. Her hopes were dimmed quickly when David asked, “Are you back to those sluttish ideas?”
Linda felt rejected. She didn’t believe in cheating either, so she decided to get herself sex toys. She hid them from David, but using them gave her pleasure, and she was happier. She fulfilled her wifely duties out of obligation, and David thought they were okay until he found the toys and hell broke loose.
“Linda, what are these?”
“David, I’m not getting into another fight with you,” she responded.
“So you have replaced me with these?” He said, throwing them on the floor.
“I have been trying to tell you for years that I want more but you have shamed me each time,” Linda responded.
“I don’t understand why what we have isn’t enough for you. Have you been with someone else or where did all these ideas come from?” David asked.
“Of course, you would think it’s about someone else outperforming you. If I were a man you would not question my dissatisfaction. It’s coming from me,” Linda responded angrily.
“I find that hard to believe and I don’t want those things in my house!”
“Wouldn’t you just love that? An actual reason to slut-shame me?” Linda replied.
“You are a mother and a wife, act like it,” said David.
Linda refused to back down again. She checked out as a wife when she felt unheard and decided to focus on herself and the children. David looked at her with contempt and resentment while Linda ignored his presence altogether. As expected, their bedroom issues trickled down to other aspects of their lives together. The situation became untenable, and they split up.
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