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The Singlehood Series: He Checked All My Boxes But His Red Flag Was Hard To Ignore

Black woman and man on a date Image from : https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evewoman/relationships/article/2001459738/are-girls-choosy-or-am-i-just-poor-at-dating

The Singlehood Series: He Checked All My Boxes But His Red Flag Was Hard To Ignore

When Adrian asked her out she was excited but on the day of the date she found out about his red flag which was hard to ignore

Singlehood Series by Singlehood Series
1 September 2023
in The Singlehood Series
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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I have never had a crush on a colleague but somehow, I couldn’t help noticing Adrian. It was my first day at my new job and he was the first person to welcome me. Even though he was my supervisor he took the time to show me around and introduce me to my colleagues. Other than being kind, he was also attractive, and you could smell his cologne from a mile away.   

There was no rule against dating a co-worker, but I knew that doing so might cause issues at work. So, I thought it best to focus on my work and admire him from afar. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Adrian and I spent so much time together all in the name of “trying to teach me the ropes”. With time I also started to think that he also had a crush on me. However, I didn’t want to dwell on that thought.  

After a few weeks, we ended up going on a team-building camping trip. Most of the ladies in the office didn’t like me because of how closely I worked with Adrian. So, to avoid an uncomfortable situation I took the first guard at night to give them time to sleep. Thirty minutes later, I saw Adrian stepping out of his tent and walking towards me. We spent the hour talking and laughing. By the end of the trip, he asked me out on a date which took me by surprise. I knew that it was a risk, but I agreed to it anyway.   

On the day of the date, I was so excited that I woke up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. It had been a while since I had been on a date, so I felt like I needed to prepare early. I spent the morning hours cleaning the house and shopping for groceries online so that in the afternoon I could focus on makeup tutorials. By 5 pm, I had learnt how to do the most basic makeup and it turned out better than I thought.   

Adrian called me at 6 p.m. to inform me that he would be a little late since he was finishing up a business meeting. This piece of information made me smile because it meant that I had time to take videos of the restaurant. I finished getting ready and ordered the Uber. On my way there, a message popped up on my phone. Adrian had sent me money which I assumed was to pay for my ride.   

“He just keeps surprising me,” I thought to myself.   

When we arrived, I walked into the restaurant and was intrigued by how aesthetically pleasing it was. As a woman who was used to being taken to Mcfry and Pizza Inn for dates, this was a whole new experience for me.   

Adrian arrived 40 minutes later looking as handsome as usual. We ordered our food and as we waited, I decided to take the chance to find out more about him.   

“So, what’s your story?” I asked.  

“My story?” He asked with a smile.  

“Yes, how is a man like you still single?” I asked.  

“Well, I was in a relationship for three years and last year she cheated on me. To make matters worse she ended up getting pregnant,” He replied.  

“Damn, I’m so sorry to hear that,” I said.  

“How about you?” He asked.  

“The last man I dated didn’t want kids and that was a deal breaker for me,” I said.  

“How did you know he wouldn’t change his mind?” He asked.  

“I had a feeling that it was a decision he would stand firm on,” I replied.  

“Interesting,” He said.  

“Do you see yourself as a future dad?” I asked.  

“I already am actually,” He responded.  

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a child,” I said.  

“Not of my own, I help my ex to take care of her baby,” He said casually.  

“What?” I asked.   

“After she broke the news to the man she cheated on me with, he left her. So, I offered to let her stay at my place for a while and sort of warmed up to her son,” He replied.  

“So you live with your ex and her baby?” I asked.  

“Yes, but as roommates,” He said.  

The waiter brought us our food and for the rest of our date, I tried my best to act normal. However, I felt like Adrian could tell that my mood was off since I stopped asking deep questions. When it was time to leave, he escorted me to my Uber and asked me to call once I got home.  

During the car ride, I thought deeply about what he had said, and it made me feel worse. That’s the problem of having expectations. I thought that his flaw would end up being something that I could deal with, but this was heavy. By the time I got home, I didn’t even have the energy to text or call him, so I went straight to bed.  

On Monday during my lunch break, I decided to go to a nearby restaurant for lunch and was surprised to find him there. He signalled me to join him.  

“Hey Adrian,” I said as I sat next to him.  

“Hey, is everything okay between us?” He asked.  

“Yeah, I just think it’s best if we keep our relationship strictly professional,” I said in a disappointed tone.  

“Okay, no worries,” He replied.  

In as much as I felt bad, his response calmed me down. If only I knew it was fake. From that day onwards, Adrian gave me the cold shoulder which attracted attention in the office. I tried my best to keep a low profile and ignore the gossip and stares even though it was annoying. Luckily, a few weeks later he went on leave and people let me be. By the time he came back, he acted like I was a stranger. But at least now the rumours had died down and I could focus on work with no distractions.  

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.

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