Getting catfished is horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Imagine spending weeks, months or even years talking to someone online only to find out that they are a catfish. I know the feeling first-hand since I’ve been catfished a few times in the past.
It’s easy to live a fake life online. Hence, many people are cautious about people they meet on social media or dating apps. However, you can never be too careful. I was always cautious about the people I met online but somehow, I was catfished.
The last time I got catfished, I deleted all my pictures on social media and deactivated my accounts. I thought that I was done with it but I came back a few months later. I barely had any pictures on my account yet I had over 10,000 followers. My account looked like a catfish account. However, I made sure that I uploaded realistic-looking pictures so people would know that I was real and wouldn’t accuse me of being a catfish.
It didn’t work. Everyone who slid in my DMs asked whether I was real or a catfish and no matter how much I tried to prove I was real, they didn’t believe me. Most of them would stop talking to me after a brief interaction. However, John decided to stick around.
“I’m desperately looking for a girlfriend so I’ll give you a chance even though I think I’m being catfished.” He wrote.
“I promise you I’m real,” I replied after reading the bizarre message.
John was working outside of the country but was planning on coming for a vacation in a few weeks and wanted to meet someone while he was in the country. He had been talking to a few women but they were only interested in his money as soon as they found out that he was living abroad.
“You’re the first woman I’ve connected with on social media who hasn’t asked me for money.” He said.
“Don’t worry, I won’t ask you for money. I have a good job.”
“You seem like a great catch. You’re beautiful and you’re independent. Why are you still single?”
“I think I put too much focus on my career and forgot about my love life. Also, most men my age are intimidated by my success.”
“That’s unfortunate. You’d be a dream girlfriend.”
“Thank you.”
We used to talk every day all day. Sometimes I would lag behind on my work because I would be chatting with John. He was so interesting and had endless conversations. I had never met anyone that intelligent before, especially online.
“By the way, when was your last relationship?” He asked.
“A year ago.”
“What happened?”
“He was a deadbeat who lived in my apartment rent-free, ate my food, drove my car and he still cheated on me.”
“Wow, that’s horrible.”
“I know. What about you?”
“I was in a relationship for 3 years which I thought would be my last. We got along well for the most part but she started acting differently all of a sudden. I found out that she had been cheating on me for several months and we broke up.”
“We’re both victims of being cheated on.”
“Yeah, we have that in common.”
We talked every day until the day he arrived in the country. I wanted to go and pick him up at the airport but he insisted he wanted us to meet at a nice restaurant.
“I don’t want to be wearing sweatpants the first time that you see me.”
“Okay. We can meet tomorrow.”
“Great. I’ll let you pick the restaurant.”
We didn’t talk much that evening since John was settling into his hotel room. We only talked briefly late at night to confirm where and when we would meet the following day.
“I’ve made reservations for 7 pm at Mawimbi.”
“Okay. I can’t wait to see you.” He said excitedly.
I spent the whole afternoon the following day trying on clothes that I would wear to the date. I wanted to look my best and I wasn’t going to settle for anything else. Finally, I found the perfect dress – a blue, ruched maxi dress which showed off all my curves.
Just after I finished getting ready, John called me letting me know that he was on his way to the restaurant. I also headed out and we arrived almost at the same time. In fact, we bumped into each other outside the restaurant.
“John,” I called him to get his attention.
He looked like he didn’t recognize me.
“It’s Wendy.”
“I knew it. I knew I was being catfished.” He said in anger.
“What? I look the same as I do online.”
“No, you don’t.” He insisted, removing his phone and showing me a picture of myself. “This doesn’t look like you.”
It was so ridiculous since I looked exactly like my pictures. However, I didn’t want to argue with him and I barely knew him so I asked him if we could go inside hoping that he would be more well-mannered in front of other people.
However, he continued insisting that I had catfished him and even asked the waiter if I looked the same as the pictures online which was so embarrassing.
“I think she looks different but maybe I had high expectations.” He said to the waiter.
I tried everything to change the subject and make the dinner a bit pleasant despite the way it had started but John was nothing but rude to me. After an hour, I had enough and got up to leave.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
“I’m going home.”
“I’m not paying for your dinner.”
I was too upset to say anything so I reached into my bag and got my phone out to pay for my meal.
“You have to pay for my dinner too because you wasted my time.”
At that point, I started to suspect something was unusual but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t pay for his dinner either and left him at the restaurant as soon as I finished paying.
While on my way back home, I decided to take a closer look at John’s social media account. He had accused me of catfishing him when maybe he was the real catfish since he was nothing like the John I had spent weeks talking to.
There was nothing unusual but I noticed that he suddenly stopped posting any pictures more than a year ago.
It didn’t mean that he was a catfish but it was suspicious given his behaviour. I never found out why John had acted the way he did since I cut off all communication with him. However, that experience made me realize that online relationships are not for me.
*Maybe he was trying to get a free meal like this guy When The Charming Date Turns Out To Be A Broke Liar
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