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A Frustrated Black Woman Holding Her Head

A Frustrated Black Woman Holding Her Head Image from: https://woctherapy.com/black-women-and-depression/

The Singlehood Series: He Broke Up With Her Because Of Her Social Media Posts

The past left her scarred and despite trying to overcome it, it still affected her future relationships.

Singlehood Series by Singlehood Series
29 June 2023
in The Singlehood Series
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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When you have been on the dating streets of Nairobi for a while, you tend to run low on trust. Whether you experience first-hand character development or see others go through it, you quickly learn not to trust easily. Sometimes the distrust is misplaced, and you end up stirring up drama with a partner who isn’t playing dirty games with your feelings. Jane found herself in such a situation.

She had dated her ex for six years before they broke up because he didn’t seem ready to take the relationship to the next level, only for her to find out that he got married four months after they broke up. It took her a year of therapy to overcome the bitterness, but that wasn’t enough to hide her emotional scars.

Mike was the first guy she dated after her breakup. Their paths crossed at work. He was confident, easy on the eye and had a good bedside manner. It was a different kind of relationship. Mike was a busy man, so they didn’t spend as much time together as she would have wanted. However, he took care of her. He sent her money to take care of some of her bills and occasionally surprised her with other romantic gestures. Mike was separated from his wife, or so he told her.

While everything Mike told Jane seemed to check out, a part of her still doubted him. Her ex proposing to someone else after six years of dating made her doubt her judgment. It didn’t help that men constantly lie about their relationship status. It’s said you need to ask questions like, “Is there someone who thinks she is married to you?” “Are you living with someone for the sake of your kids?” Apparently, men thrive on technicalities, so it’s best not to assume you know what they mean. Mike insisted he was separated from his wife.

One evening as Jane scrolled through her social media, she found a thread of stories where an influencer ‘helped’ her followers find out if they were sharing their partners with other people. All they needed to do was send in a picture, and the post would be put up with the hope that others with the subject’s dating information would share the information. At first, Jane thought that was an extreme way to verify a partner’s fidelity, but then she also imagined that if she had done this when she was dating her ex, she might have discovered sooner that she had been sharing him with others.

After struggling with the idea for about an hour, she decided to send in a picture of Mike. She waited to see if anyone else would come out to ‘claim’ him but fell asleep as she waited. She woke up to five messages and a missed call from Mike. Mike never texted several messages simultaneously, which was alarming on its own, not to mention the call.

She first opened the messages. The first one was a screenshot of the influencer Jane had sent the picture to, asking her followers whether he passed the fidelity test. Mike’s sister had come across the post and was asking Mike whether he had left his wife for crazy women who behaved like that. Mike expressed his shock and displeasure with her behaviour in the other messages. As she wondered how she’d explain herself to Mike, she decided to check on the influencer’s page to see whether he had indeed passed the fidelity test, but the post had been brought down.

Jane fiddled with her phone, trying to make sense of what had happened and what she’d do next. Mike called her again.

“Where are you?” Mike asked.

“At home,” Jane answered.

“I’m coming,” Mike responded.

Mike got there in less than an hour. He sat on the couch next to the door.

“Want to explain to me what this was about?” Mike asked.

“I needed to be sure that you were not playing me,” Jane answered.

“It’s evident that you don’t trust me but why would you use such a method to get information?” Mike asked her.

“I don’t know what came over me, I just needed to know that when you say you’re working, you’re not with someone else,” Jane responded in tears.

“I’m lucky that my sister saw it first and I had the influencer pull it down but I cannot have you jeopardize my reputation with such stunts. I am a respected business person,” Mike told her.

“I am so sorry Mike. Wait, how did you know it was me?” Jane asked.

“I wasn’t seeing anyone else,” Mike answered.

Jane pleaded with Mike for forgiveness, promising not to behave like that again, but Mike decided she was a wild card.

Read other stories here

My Toxic Ex Harassed Me On Social Media Until I Had To Deactivate My Accounts

She Found Out That Her Ex-Boyfriend Had Hacked Her Social Media Accounts

I Found Out He Was On Another Date In The Same Restaurant

I Caught Him Scrolling On Tinder While We Were On A Date

My Ex Destroyed My Car Because We Broke Up

I Almost Got Back Together With My Ex Until I Realized He Was Sharing Screenshots Of Our Conversation With His Friends

My Blind Date Turned Out To Be A Guy I Had Ghosted

I Tried To Win Over My Boyfriend’s Mum But It Was Clear That His Mother Disliked Me

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.

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