I had been on Tinder for years without going on a single date. I just didn’t trust the app since I heard so many bad things about it. However, my friend convinced me that it wasn’t so bad so I decided to give it a try. I didn’t expect much from it even though my friend swore by the app.
“I met Jeff on Tinder and we’ve been in a relationship for 4 years.” She said.
She had a point. Her tinder date turned out to be the best relationship she had ever had. In fact, they were planning their wedding. I wanted what she had. I wanted a stable relationship and hoped that Tinder would work for me as well.
It was scary, at first. The very people I tried to avoid on Tinder were the same ones I kept matching with. I found out very quickly that looks can be deceiving. I thought the guys in suits and well-travelled would be more mature but they ended up being the worst. They were on Tinder looking for casual hookups from young girls. On the other hand, the t-shirt and jeans guys were surprisingly more mature. So instead of swiping right on guys who looked like they had their lives together, I started swiping the low-key guys.
However, my plan was still not fail-proof. I matched with a couple of weird guys but it was a lot easier to identify them and cut them off. After months of trying to find the perfect match, I finally felt like I had a few good choices.
I don’t like surprises so I had to do my homework and make sure that the guys were on the same page as I was. I had been chatting with 7 guys for three months getting to know them and I felt confident about my selection. Then, the hard part came – going on dates. This was such a nerve-wracking experience since I barely had any experience with dates and I had such high standards that I almost knew the dates would be a disaster. Nonetheless, I set up my first date.
“He’s an architect but he doesn’t have a car,” I told my friend over the phone.
“Girl, don’t worry about those things. He can get a car later. Just have fun and keep an open mind.” She advised me.
I met him over the weekend and the date was going well at first. There wasn’t anything interesting about him, though. He was too quiet and I had to carry on the conversation the whole time.
“What do you do for fun?” I asked him.
“Watch football.” He replied in a monotone.
The date quickly went downhill and I couldn’t wait to leave. However, he didn’t seem like he was in any rush. He kept ordering more drinks and before I knew it, it was 11 pm and I was visibly drunk. He tried to make me go home with him but I was sober enough to call an Uber and go home. Later that night, he called me to check whether I got home safely and ask me on another date.
“I hope you had fun.” He started. “I’d love to see you again.”
I was half asleep but I managed to get a few words out.
That was the end of that. I never saw him or talked to him again.
After that horrible date, I wasn’t eager to go on another tinder date. However, one of the guys I had been talking to asked me out and since I was free and a bit lonely, I accepted his invitation.
“We can go on a quick coffee date.” He suggested and I accepted.
We met late Sunday afternoon in a rather busy restaurant. I didn’t like the atmosphere, especially for a first date. There were crowds of people and we had to share a table with another group. It was so awkward since we hardly knew each other and tried to ask what the other liked while a group of strangers watched us. His attempts to make light of the situation didn’t work either.
“Should we go somewhere else?” I finally suggested.
“The food here is great. You’ll love it.” He insisted.
We barely talked after the food arrived and left shortly after we finished eating. At least we shared an Uber since we were headed in the same direction and we got to know a bit about each other. However, things were already so awkward that nothing could redeem the moment.
My week started off on a bad note. I had gone on two bad tinder dates over the weekend and my mood was low. Then, I suddenly lit up. One of the guys I had been talking to on Tinder and the guy that I was mainly interested in agreed to go on a date. Yes, I shot my shot for a change.
We met later that evening at a high-end restaurant near my workplace. This was a big mistake since I ended up bumping into three colleagues including one of our senior managers. Though it was a bit awkward, it wasn’t so bad plus it seemed to impress my date. In fact, he was so impressed that he insisted I pay for the date.
“You’re a big shot. You can afford it.” He said.
It took me by surprise since it wasn’t common for a man to insist that a woman pays the bill even though he thinks that she could afford it. I paid but reluctantly then headed straight home and blocked the guy.
I went on two other tinder dates that week before giving up and accepting my fate. My dream guy was definitely not on Tinder. I also deactivated my account and deleted the app. However, I haven’t given up on love yet. I’m just never using tinder again no matter how many people find love on the app.
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