Sometimes the best relationship advice you’ll get is to listen to others who have been in similar situations. It’s not always the gospel truth but it reminds you to tread carefully because we all know how love puts on those blindfolds. Having ignored the warnings, and the signs the blindfold came down with a pool of tears and a broken heart for Susan.
Susan was an engineer, she had done so well for herself career-wise. At the age of twenty-eight, she was driving a 2020 Subaru Forester, her current account was the envy of her friends and her heavy spending made it clear that money wasn’t a problem.
Her relationship with Mike came as a surprise to many. Mike typically dated less ambitious women, submissive, the kind who would depend on him for many things. His brand of masculinity involved pride, domination and spending on women. He wasn’t doing badly financially at first but he was nowhere near Susan financially.
Mike started dating Susan after a nasty break-up with a girl who betrayed him repeatedly with even some of his friends. Mike’s ex complained that he didn’t give her enough money. Besides Susan not fitting his dating profile it made sense that he wanted to date a financially stable woman. Within no time it was evident why they had a connection. They were both fun-loving people who would enjoy doing random things.
They would wake up and decide they wanted to catch the sunrise in Naivasha and drive there then come back. Being party lovers, they enjoyed trying out new places together. For the first few months, they had a lot of fun together. Until Mike’s business started to experience some challenges. He started struggling financially. This was however not a problem for Susan. Soon she started sending him money for lunch. If they needed to hang out with their friends, Susan would send Mike money to buy drinks so that it would look like Mike had financed it.
Susan loved Mike and despite constant warnings about financing non-essentials, she still didn’t listen. It also came as a surprise to Mike’s friends when he proudly acknowledged that Susan was financing him. He had spoken negatively about women giving men money that one wouldn’t have expected that he would be okay with it.
Mike had a child who lived with his baby mama upcountry. He wasn’t the most responsible father. He would occasionally send child support and inconsistently ask about the child’s welfare. Susan didn’t want children of her own but she felt that Mike ought to be a better father. She was determined to make him a better man.
“Babe, what are your plans with your child?” Susan asked Mike one evening.
“What do you mean by plans?” Mike asked, a bit surprised.
“Susan, you know my financial status at the moment but once I’m back on my feet I want to be a more present dad.”
He panicked when Susan asked the question because he didn’t want to give a response that would disappoint her. He didn’t have any immediate plans to fulfil his obligations. He argued that if he got involved it would interfere with his current lifestyle. After all, he was confident that the mother’s child was doing a good job.
Susan on the other hand was looking to make plans for the future. Mike seemed like the perfect partner because he said that he didn’t want more children. She wanted a partner to travel the world with and share new exciting experiences. She even started talking to him about investments.
“Mike, a colleague of mine was talking about parcels of land on sale. I was thinking we could go check it out.”
“Susan, I wouldn’t mind investing with you but things haven’t looked up yet.”
“I know, we can co-own the land regardless of how much you contribute,” said Susan.
“Okay, I’m expecting a payment next week. I was hoping to go see my child and then we can see what’s left over,” responded Mike.
Susan shared her thoughts with her girlfriend who remarked that it was a bad idea. She defended herself stating that they would have a legal contract stating how to divide any joint assets in case they broke up. The friend wasn’t convinced but she knew better than to argue with a woman in love.
A week later she asked Mike about his plans to visit his child.
“Still going to see your child this weekend?”
“I don’t think so. The payment hasn’t come through yet,” Mike texted back.
“How about I loan you the money and then you can refund me later?” Susan suggested.
“You would do that for me?” Mike asked, a bit surprised.
“Yeah, sure. I can see you’re trying. Actually, I’ll be out of town with friends so you can go in my car,” she added.
Mike went to visit his child and baby mama and then came back. He thanked Susan for the help and seemed more invested in his child. The change pleased Susan until a month later.
Mike was in the shower when someone called thrice. Susan took the phone to see who was calling. That was when she saw the text.
“Mike, I think I’m pregnant again. I’ll go see the doctor tomorrow to confirm.”
The message was from his baby mama. Mike found Susan trembling in anger and shock. He hadn’t read the message so he was surprised too. Before he could process his shock it dawned on him that Susan had discovered his betrayal.
“Mike, I gave you money to go see your child and you decided to make another child?”
“It just happened, it wasn’t intentional,” said Mike stammering.
Susan could feel bile in her mouth as tears started flowing from her eyes. She didn’t see this kind of betrayal coming. She took her things and left his house. A week later after many apologies from Mike, she asked him if they had confirmed the pregnancy. The answer was affirmative. She walked into a liquor store and bought something to drown her sorrows as she wondered whether she had pushed him to his baby mama.
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