Whenever I tell girls that I want a low-maintenance girlfriend, they immediately accuse me of being broke. I think people often misunderstand what a low-maintenance girl is. Everyone’s definition of a low or high-maintenance girl is different. For me, it doesn’t mean a woman who isn’t into material things. On the contrary, I like a put-together woman who spots designer clothes every now and then. A low-maintenance woman, for me, is a woman who understands that her man needs to work to afford the things she wants.
I have had the misfortune of meeting some very needy women. I’m not sure if I attract insecure women or if it’s a natural thing but all the women I’ve dated have always wanted me to call and text them regularly every day. It seems like that is the only way to assure them that I’m not cheating on them.
It’s difficult for me to constantly text or call my partner because I have to be fully focused at work. That leaves me with little to no time to text. Additionally, I’m not the chatty type. If I’m constantly on the phone with my partner, I’ll get bored very fast. I prefer staying a few days without talking so we can have something to talk about when we meet.
It was a challenge at first but over the past few months, I decided that I won’t waste my time with someone I’m not compatible with.
“I want a low-maintenance girlfriend,” I said to my date who looked perplexed.
“You mean you don’t want to spend money on your girlfriend but you want her to care for you emotionally?” She asked.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“You’re just a cheap, broke man.” She said then stormed off.
That was the pattern with most dates I went on. I never got the chance to explain what I meant by a low-maintenance girlfriend. It was probably my fault because I picked up girls from places where being broke or cheap was a criminal offence.
Nonetheless, I was determined to find my low-maintenance queen. She had to be out there, right? Well, I’m starting to believe that she might not. It’s very hard to find a woman who isn’t threatened by silence or scared of not being the centre of attention.
I don’t have high hopes that I’ll find such a woman because even the ones I expect to be low-maintenance are a bit needy.
The one who nearly made me lose hope in finding a low-maintenance girlfriend is called Ashley. That name is forever etched in my brain. In fact, I quiver anytime I hear it. Ashley and I met at a sports club where we both frequented. I saw her a few times and decided to shoot my shot.
By that time, I was still not upfront with what I was looking for in a partner but she didn’t seem like she would be a needy girlfriend.
She wasn’t, at first.
“Hi. How was your day?” She asked the following evening after our first date.
“It was good. How was yours?”
“It was good too. I was busy with work. What are you up to?”
“I actually was dozing off. I’m so tired.”
“You were going to sleep without talking to me.”
“Sorry. It’s a habit of mine.”
“Well, I don’t like it. You have to tell me goodnight at the very least.”
“Okay. I’ll make sure that I tell you goodnight.”
I tried to follow that rule but it was difficult because I got home late and tired most of the time.
Sure enough, she wasn’t happy about it.
“Don’t you care about me?” She asked while we were out on our second date.
“Of course I do. You have to understand my lifestyle.”
“I understand and I don’t ask for much. Just a simple goodnight text or call. You can call me when you’re half asleep. I don’t care.” She explained.
“That might not be possible and that is why I want a low-maintenance girlfriend.”
It was the first time I had mentioned my preference to her.
“Low maintenance girlfriend? I don’t ask you for anything.”
“I know you don’t ask me for material things but you ask for my time.”
“Asking for a goodnight text or call is asking for too much?” She asked, almost in tears.
“I just need someone who can be a bit more emotionally independent.”
“What kind of a relationship is that?”
I didn’t reply. Surprisingly, Ashley didn’t give up yet. I guess that was the reason she was so successful. She refused to let minor setbacks get in her way.
She did a good job in having minimal contact with me and our relationship started moving in the right direction. We barely argued and every time we met, it was like I was meeting her for the first time.
“I see why you wanted a low-maintenance girlfriend. This is amazing.” She said during one of our dates.
I truly believed that I had managed to convince one girl to try out my relationship style. However, I was completely disappointed.
After a few months, we started spending nights at each other’s houses. During one of our visits, I found out that Ashley had been talking to multiple guys the whole time that we were dating.
“It’s not cheating because I’ve never met them. I just talk to them online.” She explained.
“That’s still cheating.”
“Well, I need attention. I need a man who reassures me and checks in on me.”
Ashley admitted that she didn’t want the kind of relationship that I wanted and we broke up. To be honest, I was heartbroken because not only had I been cheated on but also I lost a girl that I really liked.
I’m back to the drawing board again. I might need to adjust my preferences a bit but I still want a low-maintenance girlfriend because I don’t have the time to text or call as much as most girls want.
Check out
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