I never thought a day would come when I was not interested in dating or finding love. I’m a lover. I love being in love but the things that I’ve been through in my dating life have made me throw in the towel. I don’t want love anymore. I’m fine with spending the rest of my life alone because if dating is this hard, how will marriage be?
I’ve done everything right, lowered my standards, and become more open-minded and still, I haven’t been able to find someone who I can build a life with. The closest I’ve come to a relationship was with someone who was almost 5 years younger than me. I’m sure the only reason he kept pursuing me was because he could stay at my place rent-free.
However, it wasn’t a real relationship for me. I knew there was no future between us. He was still in university and had a long way to go before he became the kind of man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I believe I just have bad luck because I fall for the wrong guys.
“Just try to date these regular, boring guys.” My best friend, who’s married and expecting a baby, advised me.
Her advice definitely worked for her. She was just as unlucky as I was but her luck turned around last year when she met her husband.
“Dan wasn’t exactly my type but he showed up for me consistently.” She explained.
“I know but it’s so hard for me to date someone who doesn’t excite me. You know that I get bored easily.”
“Well, you have to try to find a good guy. Leave these bad boys alone.”
I gave the regular, boring guys a chance just like she advised me and they still disappointed me. In fact, they were worse than the bad boys. The romance was nonexistent. Though I tried to adjust to that lifestyle, there are some things I cannot compromise on. I’d rather date a broke man who is romantic than a rich man who isn’t.
So, I quickly discovered that I couldn’t get along with those nonchalant tech bros that my best friend tried to set me up with.
Finally, I met a guy who I thought I could get along with. Noah was financially stable, somehow fun and romantic. We hit things off pretty quickly and after a few dates, he asked me to move into his place.
It was fast but I had nothing to lose. On the contrary, I could save on rent and other expenses. So, I moved into his place.
I worked from home so I had a lot of time to do the house chores. Since he didn’t have a house manager, I decided to take some of the burden from him. It was the least I could do for living at his place for free. At first, he was appreciative but after a few weeks, it became like a duty.
“Could you clean the house today? I’m having some friends over tomorrow.” He asked.
“Why don’t you call the cleaning lady?” I asked.
“Well, you’re here and you can clean.”
“I have work.”
“You can do it when you take a break from work.”
I didn’t want to argue anymore so I accepted it though I was a bit offended. I cleaned and the following day, I ended up being the server for his friends. If they wanted a glass, he would send me. If they wanted a spoon, he would send me. I was so exhausted by the end of the night.
I tried to bring up my concerns to Noah but his response was always the same.
“You work from home and you don’t pay any bills. You need to help somehow.”
I certainly didn’t sign up to be a house help and it wasn’t like I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. However, I wanted to give love a chance so I decided to put up with him.
“Maybe he wants to see if you’re a wife material.” My best friend said after I told her the challenges I was facing.
“I think so but I’m not going to put up with it for long. He better treat me like a girlfriend and not a maid.”
It was like Noah enjoyed seeing me suffer because instead of lessening the house chores, he increased them. Apart from cooking every day, I had to clean the house every day, dust the walls every few days and change the sheets and towels every week.
I had to stop working to become a stay-at-home girlfriend which was his intention. When I told him that I had quit my job, he was ecstatic.
“You don’t need to work. I’ll take care of all the bills.” He said.
That would have been a dream life if Noah was the type of man he portrayed himself to be. Unfortunately, it took me months to see the real him and by that time, I had quit my job and didn’t have any source of income.
Noah was a jealous, insecure man. He was jealous that I had a job and that I could pay my own bills. When I quit my job, he stopped giving me money to do my hair and nails. I was helpless. I had to dig into my savings to get money for my upkeep.
It was one of the worst periods of my life and Noah wasn’t bothered by anything. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it. He mocked me by comparing how I looked when he met me and how I looked at that time.
Since I stayed home most of the time, I also gained a lot of weight which made me feel self-conscious. Despite all of these, I still stayed with him because I didn’t want another failed relationship. We dated for more than a year before I realized that I couldn’t live under such conditions for the rest of my life.
After we broke up, Noah begged me to get back together with him. He even promised to visit my parents for introductions. Even though I wanted to get married, I wasn’t going to sign away my happiness for it.
Dating Noh was the final straw. I was so traumatized that I gave up on finding love. He made me believe that love didn’t exist.
Check out
I Quit My Job To Become A Wife – A Decision That Left Me With So Many Regrets
My Husband Forced Me To Become A Housewife
Her Husband’s Fragile Ego Rendered Her Jobless And Made Their Lives Difficult
