Resentment is bitterness that develops when someone feels they’ve been treated unfairly. In relationships, resentment can be a slow-developing poison that eventually kills the relationship. A partner who is feeling resentful may pull away, and be less communicative, playful and affectionate. They are often just not themselves. Here are some common reasons why people end up resenting their partners.
One-sided feelings
This happens when one partner feels like they do all the work in the relationship and even worse it’s not appreciated. This sense that the feelings are one-sided can breed resentment in the person who always ends up making all the love gestures and receiving little in return. Both parties should put in an effort in trying to sustain their connection.
Feeling like you contribute more
So much conflict and resentment builds up when one person feels like they contribute more, bearing more of the burden than their partner. This often shows in the distribution of housework and childcare. It can also be financial. This is worsened when the person doing more feels like it’s not noticed and appreciated and if they feel all their sacrifice is taken for granted. It’s important for partners to talk to each other about how they’re feeling and find an equitable way of helping each other bear the burdens of life.
Unfulfilled expectations
Despite their best efforts, people go into relationships with spoken and unspoken expectations. Such expectations are often so high and may be difficult for their partners to live up to which can breed resentment. Once again, communication is key. Communicate your expectations and be ready to compromise with your partner to find what works best for both of you.
Not feeling supported
Another common cause of resentment is when either party feels like they are not supported by their partner. Support can be emotional or financial or something unique to your partner. This failure to meet their needs, failure to communicate that they have you firmly in their corner can make them resentful especially if they are always there for you, supporting you.
Not enough sex
Sexual intimacy and satisfaction are of critical importance in most relationships. One common cause of resentment is not having enough sex. It may be that their partner has a low sex drive or is dealing with another issue. If they are constantly turned down, it can lead to feelings of rejection and they can begin to become resentful. Relationships: Talking About Sexual Dissatisfaction With Your Partner
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Unresolved conflicts
Conflict is healthy and present in every relationship. Addressing conflict though for all its ubiquity is not easy. Many people end up ignoring and piling up unresolved conflicts which end up leading to a build-up of resentment. As uncomfortable as it is, addressing conflict almost guarantees better outcomes if the alternative is burying your head in the sand.
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Trust issues
Trust issues, such as from previous infidelity can leave one of the partners feeling like they just can’t trust their partner which can build resentment. Here are 7 Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship
Lack of adjustment
Relationships require people to negotiate and compromise. If one party is rigid and never willing to make any adjustments, forcing the other party to always be the one to compromise, this can lead to resentment.
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Making important decisions without their input
One sure way to build up resentment in your partner is to make critical decisions without involving them. Having to deliberate with someone else may delay action but it reinforces to your partner that you value them and their input. Excluding them says the very opposite which cannot be good for any relationship.
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