Granted, you likely know a thing or six about sex. Yet, while each person and each couple is different, certain pitfalls appear to crop up among men. Here are some common mistakes men make during sex that inadvertently diminish the quality of their sexual encounters. Hopefully making the necessary changes leads to more fulfilling experiences for all parties involved.
Lack of eroticism
Sex doesn’t begin with the act. One would be forgiven for assuming that assuming sex begins in the bedroom. It doesn’t. Put on some music and candles. Whisper in her ear about how hot she is when you’re out walking or send her a sexy text while at work. Give her the most sensual of kisses that morning before you leave for work. Sex begins way before physical congress actually begins.
Not taking your time
It takes women a little more time to get their engines revving. Women need more warm-up time and more time to get in the mood. This is why adding eroticism to it goes a long way to helping. Because men don’t need as much warm time, they often end up rushing things which compromises the quality of the lovemaking. It takes most women an average of 14 minutes to orgasm during partnered sex if they do. Take your time. There is a time for hard and fast but taking your time is often more pleasurable.
Following a script
In general, finding something that works and sticking to it works in life. The same is not true when it comes to sex. What worked for your ex may not work for your current partner. With people who are in long-term relationships, it’s so easy to follow a script now that you know what gets everyone going. The problem is eventually that gets old. Don’t just follow the same script. Switch it up, try new things, heck just a different order of events.
Making everything that’s for her foreplay
In a patriarchal society, everything including sex is oriented towards prioritizing men’s needs and interests. For this reason, intercourse is considered the main event and everything that gets women going is considered extraneous foreplay. This is especially problematic if you consider the fact that most women do not climax from penetration alone.
One study found only 18.4% of women could orgasm from penetration alone. The word foreplay does women a great disservice. What pleasures women during sex is not an afterthought. It’s as crucial as what brings men pleasure.
Not prioritizing the clitoris
The clitoris is where it’s at for women. Most women need physical clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. The Clitoris: Things Everyone Should Know
Assuming wetness is arousal
Vaginal wetness is not synonymous with arousal. One can be wet but not aroused or aroused and not wet. Wetness is not an automatic greenlight to stick it in and lube is your friend. Lube is your best friend. Relationships: Benefits Of Using Lube While Having Sex
Ending when you ejaculate
Someone on Twitter once asked how lesbians know that sex is over, the implication being that you know heterosexual sex is over when the man ejaculates.
Aftercare is critical. It refers to the time people spend caring for each other after sex. It’s cuddling and sensual touching, pillow talk and a shared intimacy afterwards. Sexual Aftercare Is Just As Important As Foreplay And Sex – Here Are Some Tips
One study found that affectionate behaviour after sex had associations with higher sexual and relationship satisfaction. When sex is reduced to insert A into B, women can end up feeling used. Aftercare is a declaration that it was an act of intimacy and vulnerability and there is mutual affection between the participants. You want your partner to feel valued and appreciated, and cared for.
Check out
Different Types Of Orgasms And How You Can Make Sex More Intense
Sex-Related Relationship Red Flags
Sex: Everything You Need To Know About The G-Spot
When It Comes To Sex, Does Penis Size Matter?
Let’s Talk About Sex And Ways You Can Enjoy It More
Tips For Having Good Phone Sex
Sexual Aftercare Is Just As Important As Foreplay And Sex & Here Are Some Tips
