There’s this expectation that relationships should progress in a certain fashion that indicates how serious the people involved are. Here’s how it goes: after dating for a while, the couple moves in together or gets engaged and gets married then moves in together. Either way, if you’re serious you move in together at some point. Recently, someone asked for advice from the general public about moving in together with their partner. Here are some of the most popular things people had to offer them.
Don’t do it
One vocal segment of the internet is convinced moving in together is the wrong move. Living on your own, they insist is where it’s at.
Live alone first
There’s wisdom in living on your own first before moving in with someone if you have never lived alone before.
Division of labour
One of the biggest sore points in relationships, when people live together, is the division of housework. This must be why many people suggest you agree on the division of labour beforehand to minimize friction. The way patriarchal society is structured leaves many women bearing the brunt of handling housework.
One key issue for many couples is coming to an agreement about how you will handle finances. Differences or disagreements about money are one of the leading causes of divorce so it makes sense to approach it with caution and the required seriousness. When considering moving in together, couples must talk about their finances way in advance to minimize conflict.
Space is your friend
The majority of the responses touch on selecting the space you’re going to move into from suggesting each person have their room to caution against moving into the place one of you already lives at.
Prepare for conflict
There will be conflict. Prepare for it and work on your conflict resolution skills.
About breaking up
Both parties should be prepared in the event of a break-up. A break-up may be the last thing you want but it happens so it makes sense to prepare… just in case, while working on your relationship so that it doesn’t play out that way. All relationships end whether through a breakup or death. Either way, it’s best to be prepared.
Have a trial run where you try to share each other’s space before you take the leap and move in together.
Get married first gang
Enough people swear by getting married before moving in together for a variety of reasons including religion and statistics that suggest that people who cohabit have higher divorce rates. Most people seem to support cohabiting though, citing a variety of reasons including the opportunity to get to know your partner more before taking a step as significant as marriage.
This changes everything
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Opinion: In Defense of Cohabitation
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The Legal Beagle: Is Long-Term Cohabitation Considered To Be A Legal Marriage? That Which We Call A Marriage By Any Other Means
Legal Issues: Why It Is Important To Register Your Customary Marriage (Or Come We Stay Relationship) In Kenya And How To Do It