He lost his mother the day after we met. Seeing his devastation, I decided to step up and be the shoulder to lean on. As cliché as that sounds, trust me, my speciality must be clichés. I’m always finding myself in several.
Over the next period of days that led up to his mother’s burial, I was always present. Helping here and there, supporting him. In retrospect, I was acting like a married girlfriend.
After the burial, we pretty much got so close that even without asking, I assumed the girlfriend position. Well, in my defence, he was always appreciating me, gifting me at the slightest chance and never missing a moment to state the obvious.
Well, that thing about dating your type, is so annoyingly true and I’ll tell you why. For one, physical attraction is important, if you like some, six-packs, please date a man with six packs or else, you’ll spend the rest of your time together wishing at least he tried building some.
Two, great sex is never about him, it’s all in your head. Two months in, we randomly had sex one evening. Well, my ex-boyfriend had broken up with me, while I tried so hard to make things work between us because I believed he was ‘the one. Months of trying had only earned me pity sex. So really, that evening, it felt nice to be desired. More importantly, that apparently, I was leaving singlehood, looking back, this had to be the biggest joke of my life.
We did talk about it the next day though. I expressly told him that I wasn’t the type to have sex for the sake of it. I guess it sounded so desperate that he resorted to asking me to be his girlfriend. Later, he confessed to only asking me because he didn’t want me to feel bad about myself. Child! This man only asked so he can have unlimited access to my panties.
Wakili, a quick one? Hell yeah! We were into quickies. We had quickies in the wildest places. The second time, he was rubbing my swollen feet and his hands unintentionally explored the thickness of my thighs. The next day, I badly needed a massage and boy oh boy, isn’t the man Ben Carson! Talk of gifted hands.
Surprisingly, after communicating to him that we should keep sex off the books before we become “a thing”, I was conveniently creating situations that would end up in sex. I enjoyed it because I felt like I was in control. Oh well, until he said that he doesn’t fancy using condoms, slid them off, bent me over and left me to the mercy of every stroke he made.
He eventually, asked me to be his woman again, after breaking my back slightly over a hundred times in less than a month and the proper thing to say was Yes. But still, I had my doubts.
He only mentioned his ex-girlfriend once; thanking her at his mother’s burial. Everything that had transpired and led to their break-up was a secret. Prudent, is what I thought of him. For a man to move on from a toxic partner like he claimed she was.
The relationship progressed so fast, owing to the fantastic sexual relationship we were having. Deep down, I wanted nothing more than an FWB (Friends with Benefit) and as if I thought a song I didn’t compose would spell it out for me; No longer beneficial by Simi was always on repeat.
Fast forward, we started having the usual relationship woes. He was either not picking up calls, hanging up on me or switching off his phone. Conveniently, he’d be green mad at me on Fridays and make-up on Sunday evenings. He usually called, all sweet, and charming, sending some Mpesa my way and blaming his madness on the fact that he thought I was still in love with my ex. I should have read the signs because this man was simply projecting his behaviours onto me.
He often shared pictures on his IG with his friends at the club, and these three chics’ were always present. The ultimate best friend that wasn’t so pretty but dating his guy best friend. Then the other two, the lesbian couple. The one whose ass was always, somehow, conveniently tucked in his hands every time they went out swimming or clubbing.
She was a lesbian, her partner was okay with the girl hanging out with ass-grabbing men because; she wasn’t attracted to them so really, why should she be a jealous girl, I got comfortable too. I never stopped to think that the unwise king Solomon had a type. Thick, chocolate, short and pretty. Unwise, because his lies eventually caught up with him.
He often talked about his friends, but mostly the straight couple. Mostly about them fighting and never agreeing on anything. I was more interested in the lesbian couple, but he only said the obvious: they are together because the thick girl was heartbroken and she didn’t trust men anymore.
As far as it was my business, my man was at least hanging out with her on weekends, so I only said that I hope he learns from him, those good men aren’t so rare. Hopefully, I thought, when her lesbian phase was over, she’ll meet a good man.
So, one Friday evening, unwise King Solomon gets into it with me again. He calls me a shitty girlfriend because between going to my friend’s ruracio and going over for a good time, I decided to go celebrate with my friend.
The fight escalates quickly and out of nowhere, his messages start sounding like Tristan Thompson doing confessionals at the Kardashians on a Hulu shoot.
First, he called me out for loving him out of pity. Guilty! Remember when I told you my speciality is Clichés? Yap! The man had come around to realizing that whatever steered the relationship was a pity. Every time, we fought and he mentioned his gone mum, I immediately changed the tune and everything reverted to normal. What’s annoying? He emotionally blackmailed me a thousand times with this same line, every Sunday evening he called to make up.
Secondly, this thick lesbian girl was his ex-girlfriend. The one he dumped, to be with me. Oh well, talk about missing the signs.
For two whole years, this man was sexually intimate with his very desperate ex under the disguise of her being a lesbian.
While I missed out on enjoying the perks of being single, this man kept this big lie for two years.
Well, I was already going out on dates and meeting new people but jeez! I felt lied to.
Of course, Solomon tried to make things work between us, but I have been emotionally and mentally exhausted for the longest time that I was waiting for the opportune time to let go.
Well, rebounds are an essential thing to the singlehood perk. If you are going for the premium perk that entails sex, please go for bomb rebound sex. If you can, heck! Sample a few interested parties before settling for one or two, or the many that please you. However, never get emotionally intertwined with guys when you have just gotten out of a relationship.
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