I have always preferred the traditional rules of dating. You meet someone, and the both of you decide to go on dates to get to know each other. This has always been the best way to see if you are compatible.
The problem is this method has never quite worked for me. Either the guy was too short, or he lacked table manners. There was always an issue with every single guy. I have also never really bought into the idea of online dating.
The stories I had heard from my friends were enough to convince me not to try any dating app. One lucky day, however, a guy tagged me on a post that said, “Tag your Twitter crush, don’t be shy”. At first, I ignored him cause Twitter is meant to be feared.
As time passed, he sent me a message, and I decided to get to know him. I wanted to know why he liked me, yet he had never seen or talked to me. He said he liked how I voiced my opinions about serious topics. No man had ever said that to me, so I was flattered.
We talked for a few months about everything, from our jobs to our dreams and even our hobbies. My days were never dull because our conversations always made them better.
Seven months later, I decided that it was time for the both of us to meet. Since I was still cautious, I decided to talk to my friend Susan about it.
“So I think it is time for me to meet up with Charles,” I told her over the phone.
“I am surprised you two haven’t met yet,” Susan replied.
“Do you think it is a good idea?” I asked her.
“Well, on the one hand, I think that meeting up with a stranger isn’t a good idea. On the other hand, this could be the man you were meant to be with,” She said.
“That doesn’t answer my question, Susan,” I told her.
“What do you want? That’s the most important question,” She said.
“I want to get to know him in person,” I said.
“Then that’s what you should do. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. I can tell you not to go, and you will still go,” She said.
“Okay, I will text you the details once we plan the meet-up,” I said.
“Okay,” She said and hung up.
A few days after our call, Charles and I planned a date. He got us a reservation at a well-known restaurant, and I was very impressed. When the day arrived, I texted Susan all the details, including my Uber trip information. Charles had initially offered to pick me up but later asked me to take an Uber since he was running late.
I got to the restaurant early and decided to wait for him at our table. First meet-ups have always been challenging, so I felt a little tense. A few minutes after I arrived, a waiter approached my table with a menu.
I was hungry, but I decided to wait for Charles. Also, the menu was a bit pricey, and I didn’t want to wash the dishes in case he didn’t show up.
An hour later, a man approached my table.
“Hi, sorry I’m late,” He said as he sat down.
“Charles?” I asked curiously.
“Janet?” He asked.
“Yeah, that’s me,” I replied.
“You seem uneasy. Do you want to see my ID?” He asked.
“Yes, please, I can also show you mine, so we are both sure,” I said.
We exchanged Identification cards and examined them keenly before handing them back to each other.
“Are we okay now?” He asked, putting the card back into his wallet.
“Yes,” I said, smiling as I did the same.
For the rest of the evening, we spent time eating, drinking and enjoying each other’s company. Charles was everything I had pictured him to be, handsome, well-groomed and funny.
I didn’t even notice that we had spent two hours just talking. When it got to 10 pm, he asked me if we could leave and return to his place. I was so fascinated by him, so I agreed. He paid our bill and left a tip for the waitress, which made me like him even more.
I decided to use the washroom before we left, so he asked me to find him outside. When I walked out of the restaurant, I couldn’t see Charles anywhere, but I could hear his and other voices coming from the parking lot. I walked to where the voices were coming from and found Charles arguing with a man.
Beside them was an attractive woman who was trying her best to ask the man to let the story go.
“Charles, what is happening here?” I asked him.
“This man was harassing this woman, and I decided to confront him,” He replied angrily.
“This is my girlfriend. I don’t have any reason to harass her,” The man said.
“I saw you. Don’t act innocent here,” Charles said.
“Charles, just calm down and let’s go,” I told him, trying to avoid confrontation.
“You need to stop harassing her,” He shoved the man, ignoring what I said.
“This doesn’t concern you; leave!” The man replied shoving Charles.
They kept going at it until he punched the man. The man punched him back, and they started fighting.
“Charles, stop!” I yelled, but he didn’t stop.
The fight escalated until they both started bleeding. A few people leaving the restaurant gathered to see what was happening.
I was in shock, so I stood there silently, waiting for something to happen. Luckily, one man heading to his car came and tried to separate the two. The man stormed off, leaving his girlfriend, who didn’t seem shocked.
I walked up to Charles, who was wiping the dust off his suit.
“Why did you have to start a fight?” I asked him.
He walked away from me and towards the girl. I followed him and stood beside them.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked her.
“Thank you so much for helping me,” She said to him.
The crowd had dispatched, and we were the only ones left standing where the fight occurred.
“Are you okay?” She asked, trying to check his face for any bruises.
“Yeah, I’m tougher than I look,” he said, smiling, and she smiled as well.
“Would you like a ride home?” He asked her.
“Great. There goes my evening plans ruined,” I thought to myself.
“No, I’ll call a cab; I don’t want to intrude,” she said.
“I insist; I just want to ensure you get home safely.” He said.
“What about our plans?” I asked, interrupting their conversation.
“That man might come back for her. Show a little compassion, Janet!” He snapped at me.
“I don’t want to cause any trouble,” She said.
“You’ve caused so much trouble already!” I snapped at her.
“Janet, stop!” Charles yelled at me.
“If she wasn’t here with that toxic boyfriend of hers, I wouldn’t be standing here like a third wheel,” I said to him.
“She was being harassed; you don’t plan for such things,” He said.
“This wasn’t the first time he did this, I’m sure. Why is she still with him?” I said.
She started crying, and he hugged her to comfort her.
“You’re so inconsiderate. I thought you like to call out injustices,” He said.
“I do call them out, but not when people stay with toxic people and expect sympathy,” I replied.
He pulled out his wallet and handed me some money.
“I want to take her home, take a cab, and we’ll talk about this tomorrow,” He said in a disappointed tone.
I couldn’t believe what was happening. Was he choosing this girl over me?
“Keep it,” I said before walking away from them.
I called an Uber and headed home. Susan sent me texts wanting to know how the date went, and I would ignore them. The following day I called her and told her about my experience. At some point during our conversation, she consoled me by stating that at least he wasn’t a serial killer. We both laughed, which made me feel better about my situation.
In the days that followed, Charles didn’t speak to me. Since I wanted to ensure we were done, I reached out to him and asked him if we would end up setting another date. He replied and told me he wasn’t ready to date and that we should remain friends.
I felt terrible about how things had gone down, seeing that I had been inconsiderate about the girl’s situation. A few weeks later, he posted a photo standing alongside the girl with the caption, “Never knew I would find the one who would complete me.”
Under the post, someone asked how they met, and he did a whole thread narrating how things had gone down that day. He finished the story by saying, “I didn’t know that a bad date would lead me to the one.”
I was so mad that I called Susan to rant. She made me realize that he was bound to choose her over me whether I argued with him or not. I still felt bad for how things had gone down, especially on my part. However, I took it as an experience I needed to go through. It helped me learn more about domestic violence, and with time I decided to look at it positively. I had helped two people find love.
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