A relationship break is a pause, a temporary halt to allow the people involved to cool off, reassess things and get some perspective when the relationship is on the rocks for one reason or another. Here are the signs it’s time to consider a relationship break as well as some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind in order to have a successful one.
Signs it’s time for a relationship break
You should consider a temporary break if you:
- Don’t talk anymore.
- Are feeling alone.
- Have been cheated on.
- Think the relationship has more bad than good.
- Have reached an impasse on major issues.
- Fight all the time even about petty things and are just walking on eggshells around each other waiting for the next fight.
- Fight the same fights over and over again.
- Don’t spend time together and you find yourself avoiding your partner.
- Have doubts about whether or not this is working or whether you want to continue in the relationship.
- Feel a general indifference toward your partner and the relationship.
- Think about ending the relationship a lot.
- No longer feel like you are essential to each other.
- Don’t have sex or engage in this kind of intimacy anymore.
- Feel the need to focus on yourself for a while.
- Are not happy and/or your partner is not happy.
- Are easily annoyed by your partner, like so much more than usual. It’s expected that you’ll be annoyed with each other from time to time, however, if it feels like it happens all the time, there’s a problem. Annoyance could be indicative of other underlying issues like you’re not getting your needs met or are not feeling supported.
Do’s and don’ts of a relationship break
Do’s
Have a conversation
You should plan an actual sit-down conversation, and not a phone call or text because this is a huge decision. A successful break requires open communication and honesty. It gives you an opportunity to talk about why you think you need a relationship break, how you want it to be, any expectations you have, and other logistical concerns.
Set time frame
A relationship break is not a breakup so you should set a reasonable time frame for both parties to determine if they want to stay together. Even if you decide that you still want the relationship before the agreed-upon time, you should respect the time frame and allow your partner the opportunity to do the same.
Set boundaries and ground rules
Will you date other people, and sleep with them? Will you stay in communication or cut off communication cold turkey? How about routine check-ins? Establishing rules early on and following them allows you to maintain trust in your relationship even when on a relationship break.
Make it count
Make the time count by exploring the causes of the break as well as just taking an in-depth look at the relationship. Think about what was right with it and what simply must change for you if you do get back together. How do you want the relationship to look if you do get back together? If you don’t want to get back together, what was the deciding factor for you as you move on to another potential relationship?
Don’ts
Don’t:
- Pause your relationship out of anger.
- Break the rules of engagement set by you and your partner.
- Take a relationship break to avoid the breakup you know you need.
- Force getting back together if either of you comes to the realization that they no longer see a future as a couple.
- Communicate during the break. A break means exactly that, a break including in your communication. The distance is important to help the partners get clarity.
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