I never thought I’d have an issue with someone being religious since I was raised in a religious home and I’ve maintained my beliefs into my adulthood. In fact, one of my requirements in a partner is being God-fearing. This is a non-negotiable for me and any guy I intend on dating must be a firm believer. This was one of the reasons my close friend, Cathy, introduced me to her friend, Mark.
Mark and Cathy went to the same church and she thought we would make a good match. So, the following Sunday, she invited me to her church where she introduced me to Mark. Things started off well. When the church service ended, Mark asked me out for lunch. I agreed but only if Cathy accompanied us since I didn’t want to be alone with him on the first day.
“Sure, I’ll join you.” She answered and we made our way to Mark’s car.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked.
We looked at each other then I said, “Java.”
“You know, today is Sunday. We should do brunch.” Cathy chimed in.
“Sure. Anything you want.” He replied.
We settled for Java and Mark was more than happy to take us there. He barely said a word when we got to the restaurant. After having a milkshake, Cathy excused herself to attend to a family thing and I was left alone with Mark. Suddenly, he became more vocal.
“I’m happy we’re alone now.” He said. “Cathy speaks very highly of you.”
“She speaks highly of you too,” I replied forcing a smile.
Mark was a quiet and reserved guy but also came off as domineering. He had a very traditional way of socializing with women which may have come from his religious beliefs. However, Cathy failed to mention this about him otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to meet him.
At first, I tried to brush off his weird remarks but he kept pushing them. I also wasn’t sure whether he was exaggerating his religious beliefs since Cathy told him I was into Church guys so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. However, this wasn’t what I expected. The reason I liked religious guys was that they were respectful to women, natural leaders and embodied what being a man was all about.
This guy, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. He was a misogynistic and arrogant guy hiding under the cloak of religion.
“Cathy tell me you’re a front desk attendant.”
“Yeah,” I replied expecting him to criticize my career.
“So, you’re expected to be at work early and leave late, right?”
“So, when will you have time for your family?”
“I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“Right. You know, time is ticking. You should be more focused on starting a family than a career.”
“Do you have a family?” I asked to silence him.
“No. But I’m a man. I can start a family in my 40s.”
Every time I asked him the same questions he was asking me, he gave the same excuse – that he was a man. It didn’t take long for him to bring up the “sin of the flesh” which made me lose my appetite and patience.
“You know when I saw you I was quite eager to talk to you,” he started.
I thought he was finally being nice but that wasn’t the case.
“Your dress is quite provocative and for such a beautiful girl, you don’t have to dress like that. God gave you natural beauty and the right men will see it.”
I was quiet. At that point, the conversation became a monologue.
“Are you fornicating?”
“Don’t laugh. I’m very serious. If we are to date, that is completely off the table.”
I had nothing to worry about since I knew that I was not going to date him. Nonetheless, I let him continue with his rules of dating and how I should dress should I be his girlfriend.
People shy away from dating religious guys for such reasons. You may meet someone who is close-minded and believes in the traditional idea of religion. They’re also not independent thinkers. Therefore, changing their minds would be nearly impossible.
I kept asking myself how Cathy could introduce me to such a person or how she could even be friends with him.
After putting up with him for almost two hours, I had had enough and needed to go.
“I had other plans. Could you drop me in town if you’re headed there?”
“Sure. I can even drop you home. You know I like you. That’s why I’m telling you all these things. I never tell Cathy anything but I needed to pass the message to you.”
“Okay. Thank you. Can we go now?”
When he noticed I wasn’t enjoying his company, he tried to change the topic.
“Anyway, tell me something about you.”
Again, I chuckled and stayed quiet. That ship had sailed about an hour ago and there was no return. I just wanted to leave. He was kind enough to drive me to town where I bought another lunch then headed home.
The date with Mark left me questioning whether I really wanted to date a religious guy. However, I knew that there were plenty of good, religious guys who weren’t so close-minded and judgmental towards others. I was a Christian and I didn’t share any of the beliefs that Mark had. Additionally, I had dated religious guys in the past and none of them was this extreme.
I later asked Cathy why she would introduce me to Mark when she knew the type of guy he was. She insisted that she didn’t know and that was the first time she had even gone for lunch with him. She said that the only reason she thought he was a good guy was that he was quiet and she never saw him mingling with any girls in church. However, he turned out to be worse than flirty guys.
More stories in The Singlehood Series:
He Asked Me Out On A Brunch Date But Took Me To Church Instead
She Met A Good Christian Man On Facebook Who Ended Up Being A Facebook Swindler
He Talked Politics On Our First Date And It Was A Turnoff For Me
She Stopped Dating Him Because He Talked Too Much About Himself
He Asked Me To Convert To His Religion For Us To Get Married